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Invalid Conscience

@skittlesfairy / skittlesfairy.tumblr.com

Disconnected from reality
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one thing you gotta know about transformers as a fandom is that it’s been around for so long that there’s an extra layer of non-canon information that almost everyone making fan content just widely accepts as canon, like seeker trines having some kind of special bond, or the existence of EM fields that broadcast emotions to other bots to some extent, or just the word “seeker” at all to refer to specific types of jet transformers. almost none of this stuff is ever touched on or even mentioned in canon sources (except for once in a catalogue and then a couple times in various media relatively recently irt the word “seeker”) but the whole fandom knows it and if you’re new you end up just having to pick it up via context clues because no one’s gonna stop their fics to explain.

a fic will drop the phrase “starscream pulled his EM field in tight” and you’re just gonna have to figure out what that means. everyone knows what an EM field is, and that bots can control it, and that it broadcasts some degree of information someone would presumably want to hide (none of this has ever been mentioned in canon once).

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byjove

growing up as an imaginative single child, I loved to play with Barbies. I loved creating elaborate drama-filled storylines for them and I could keep at it for hours. there was one problem. I had like 15 thrift store Barbies and no Kens. I only had one Barbie-sized male doll and it was a collectible Elvis Presley doll and he was my favorite doll. I always did the Elvis voice when I was playing him but he had no relation to Elvis Presley otherwise. anyway, he had some crazy days. trapped on a scary planet where he is the only man in the world and half of the women there hate him. in a massive car accident and stranded in the woods with a girlfriend who had broken her foot and a crazy ex girlfriend who had stalked them there. kidnapped by Athena (one of my Barbie sized dolls was Athena, like, the goddess) and held captive by her while trying to go home to his 7 situationships. all of this happening to a guy who looks and sounds exactly like Elvis but is otherwise the quintessential everyman.

going to be saying this periodically forever now

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there's an extremely niche plot in romance fiction wherein our invariably heterosexual leads fall in love after a night of passion leads to an unplanned pregnancy and they're now bound together by an impending child. I cast no judgment on anyone who enjoys this, but since I'm an evil gay and this is my personal nightmare scenario I want to see a zany romance novel premised on the opposite resolution: a couple falls in love while on a whirlwind roadtrip to obtain a legal abortion

"oh but along the way they realize they actually do want to raise the child together and ultimately keep the baby" no actually they successfully get the abortion and then they get chili dogs or something

neither of them want kids and it's not because they're immature or selfish or afraid of commitment or irresponsible or whatever, they just don't want to be parents and that's not a flaw they overcome. obviously they have other issues because there has to be some kind of arc to this story but deciding to keep a pregnancy that was unplanned and unwanted isn't the solution.

some of you are very determined for this to not be a romance, to which I politely say shut the fuck up and get out of my sandbox. these idiots are going on an abortion roadtrip and they are falling in love on the way so help me god.

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"you're really scraping the bottom of the barrel" girl i am living that balsamic life, that's the mommy down there at the bottom.

Balsamic vinegar is made by aging a reduced grape syrup in barrels with "mother", which is a kind of bacterial slime that develops naturally in the vinegar over time. True balsamic vinegar goes through a very particular process of aging it in a series of smaller and smaller barrels, transferring it from one barrel to the next either every year, or every few years, depending on the process, and then adding fresh syrup to the largest barrel and continuing the process. The slimy film that forms on the insides of the barrels is the mother, and due to the increased concentrations over the years, the mother in the smallest barrel is most potent, and is sometimes partially removed and used to seed new batches of vinegar, so production can be expanded. Scraping the mother from the bottom of the barrel is how you multiply the goodness, the sweetness, and the quality of your balsamic.

If you've ever bought a bottle of apple cider vinegar and thought "what's that cloudy stuff at the bottom?", that's the mommy <3

This is also a part of what makes a high quality balsamic, well, high quality. And part of what makes it expensive. Good quality balsamic is all about age, both the age of the batch itself, and the age of the mother that seeds it. Balsamic has to be at least 12 years old, but you can age it much longer, and many places do. As for the mother, that requires literal lifetimes. Some of the oldest balsamic producing families in Modena have mothers that have been kept alive for centuries, passed down through the generations to seed new batches year after year after year, hundreds of years over. The bacterial cultures develop unique and incredible flavors in this time, and you can really taste it in the end product. It's the kind of flavor and quality only age can offer.

we have entered laika's autism zone. u will learn food and cooking facts, whether you want to or not.

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