And answering machines. Starting with these people who think it’s cute to let their children record the outgoing message. And you can’t understand a word of it ‘cuz the kid’s a fucking imbecile.
“Hi my name is Stacy, I’m five years old, my mommy and daddy aren’t homebfdofhoefwpefjqpq pfklfnaklnfsklan falfdiytpojhjfgklhnfh doooot.”
“Here’s my message Stacy, I’m comin’ over to your house with a big knife, and I’m going to kill mommy and daddy. Then I’m gonna peel off their skin and make a funny hat. After that I’m gonna take out my huge ding-dong and stick it right in your dooooooot.”
George Carlin