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A conversation I had last night at work:

"have you every x-rayed someone who didn't know they were pregnant and saw a fetus?"

"no, but that's mostly because you'd have to be Very pregnant for a baby to show up on an x-ray"

"what does that even look like?"

"you mostly just see a spine. Kind of looks like a snake"

"let's Google it!" (Googles it) "Oh that looks like a fish!"

"holy shit that lady's pelvis is messed up"

"that's not a human. it's humerus is way too long"

"it looks like a bird"

"ummm birds lay eggs"

"wait, but you could see the egg inside the bird"

"even if that's true, which I'm not sure it is, you probably wouldn't see the fetal bird in the egg and the bird develops in the egg after it's been laid"

"why do you know so much about birds??"

"I have a bird friend"

"what the fuck does that mean??"

"she studied birds..but looks like I can go so this x-ray now"

~15 minutes later, I'm walking by again~ "I thought about it and it was a bat. That's a mammal that can fly"

"why do you know this shit???"

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I scheduled my tattoo appointment for 2/20. I'm super excited

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I used to like the song Meet Virginia by Train, but my horrible coworker plays it at work all the time so now I hate it because of its association

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mag200

people are always like “i have face blindness but i’m good with names” or “im terrible with names but i never forget a face” well baby idk how to tell u this but i am . bad at both.

yesterday i didn’t recognize my coworker bc he was wearing a purple shirt and im used to him wearing all black

yeah and im stomping you to death with my hooves

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lychgate

my husband put on a wig, in front of me, and i immediately got distressed and mad because it looked like a stranger was in our house and my ape brain wanted to attack

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deviantplum

There's only one month until Valentine's Day! If you really wanna impress your sweetie(s) NOW is the time to schedule an erotic X-ray session!

You know, where you take x rays of yourself in sexy poses. What? Why would you use a camera for that?? Nobody wants to see your flesh vessel.

They wanna see your Skeleton. It's all about the bones. No that is not a euphemism. They wanna see the Skelly. Show them your Skeleton. Don't be coy. Those Bones are Wet. They wanna see.

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I'm doing a 1st today and saw that my 3rd shift counter part really added a note that says "celestial discharge." Holy shit my dude.

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My therapist said he'll write letters for my cats to be ESAs so

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I made the dumb decision to apply for the hourly 911 position at my old job but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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