morning: we need to commit to cooking at home. no more fast food, no more ordering in
evening: ................ what if we were bad
@peter-my-parkers / peter-my-parkers.tumblr.com
morning: we need to commit to cooking at home. no more fast food, no more ordering in
evening: ................ what if we were bad
i love poison omelette
-1
got some kick to it i tell you what
My plan to create a perfectly flat and level Kansas by moving 5,501 cubic miles of earth from west to east. It’s the ideal Kansas. Still some details to work out about rivers, roads, etc. Watch out for the 900-foot cliff bisecting Kansas City.
this is honestly the best post on the entire fucking internet
reading nabokov is maddening because his writing is so playful and evocative and effortless and english isn't even his first language. he's doing things in a second language most people could spend their lives trying and failing to replicate in their first language. makes me feel like this
"my very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning) when i was three" like come ON how did you write the funniest sentence ever by adding a two word parenthetical. leave something for the rest of us
legends
"I would never jeopardize the beans" pales in comparison to it's newest successor, "beans r not woke. How could u do this?"
My favorite bookstore ever was in Salem, MA and looked like this:
Extremely fucking precarious setup. Afraid to brush against anything. But if you went to the counter and asked for something, the guy there not only somehow knew where to find it, he could yank a book out of any given teetering stack without disturbing the rest.
^ i went to this bookstore once in college, and then years later visited salem again and tried to find it, only to discover, in its place, a very neat and organized conventional bookstore with everything on shelves. i asked one the employees what happened that it underwent such a radical shift and they said, the mold,
i love this image so much
for the non-Americans who are very confused right now:
Everyone hates The Chiefs this year because it's quarterback Patrick Mahomes is low-key MAGA and the orange pestilence is in attendance in the game. And the racist ass "chop" their fans do. and that Traves Kelce said it would be "an honor" to host the orange pestilence at the game.
and now they're fucking losing and Taylor is going to DUMP him and join Kendrick in writing an absolutely devastating breakup anthem.
and Kendrick Lamar just called Drake a pedophile at the fucking superbowl
the eagles also refused to visit the white house last time they won the superbowl in 2018. when asked how he felt about trump coming to this game, eagles qb jalen hurts said "he's welcome to do whatever he wants." philly fucking hates trump and they are kicking kc's entire ass right now.
HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!
I'm constantly impressed at people's ability to stretch anything to fit an acronym, but it's extremely impressive how well that fits.