Phandom United

Dick: someone tried to fight the squid at the aquarium.

Damian, covered in squid ink: I wasn’t fighting him, I was merely trying to pet him.

The heroes have lost.

Superman, Wonder Woman, and Shazam are dead. The only thing that’s kept Batman alive was his wit, but that’s not enough.

His wit didn’t save his children.

His wit didn’t save Alfred.

His wit didn’t stop the world from burning.

He’s become desperate for a miracle. He had never been desperate before, but all hope had been lost. He was one of the last teams of heroes that had survived the initial onslaught. He had no contingency plans, nothing he could invent. No weapon, no weakness.

His desperate plea was so strong it went through the fabric of the dimensions. Clockwork, who normally had no intention of looking into that dimension, decided to look at the timeline. He didn’t like what he saw, so he appeared before Bruce Wayne in the middle of the night. After a brief discussion, he decided to send Bruce back in time.

When Bruce opened his eyes next, he scrambled to find the date. He almost laughed in relief when he realized that this was the day he had become Batman. The day he had first donned the cowl. He was over twenty years in the past, and he still had the knowledge of what had brought the timeline to the brink of disaster last time.

Clockwork gave him a gift. A son named Danny, to be raised by Bruce. The boy was a newborn infant, with a head full of black hair and startling blue eyes. He didn’t know what Danny’s backstory was, or why Clockwork had possession of the infant, but he wasn’t going to ask questions. His world was safe, and he had another chance to prevent the end of the world twenty years early.

He would love his son as if he was his own flesh and blood. Then he would be the best Batman the world had ever seen.

In an effort to try to get Damian not to be so formal, Bruce tells Damian that he can call him Dad instead of Father. Damian detests this, but decides to put his own twist on it.

The morning after their talk, Damian strides into the dining room for breakfast. “Salutations, male paternal figure. Where is your adoptive paternal figure? I wish to request bananas with my avocado this morning.”

Bruce slowly puts down the newspaper he had been reading. “Damian, why are you like this?”

Damian hid a smirk and appeared his best to look innocent. “I do not know what you mean, male parent.”

Bruce sighs.

The batkids decide to hop on the trend.

Dick, walking as Steph records: We’re vigilantes. Of course we have to be over dramatic.

(Cut to Nightwing back flipping off of Wayne tower)

Tim: were vigilantes. Of course we have issues with caffeine.

(Cut to a video of Tim as Red Robin snoring while hanging from a grappling line. Batman can be seen in the background facepalming.)

———

Damian: No.

Tim: oh come on, Robin, we’re all doing it.

Damian: I refuse to partake in such idiotic videos.

Tim: (while Damian is still behind him) We’re vigilantes. Of course we get to punch people without getting in trouble.

Damian: actually—-

Tim: Robin, you’re supposed to play along—

Damian: I am not going to spread false information—

Steph, interrupting: well, I’m not one of Batman’s sons so he legally can’t yell at me.

Tim: wanna bet?

(Cut to Batman scolding all three of them about the improper use of force)

—-

Duke: we’re vigilantes. Of course we go to Batburger.

(Cut to Duke happily eating a Batburger meal, and playing with a Signal toy)

Duke: what? I’m allowed to have hobbies.

——

Steph: we’re vigilantes. Of course we can scare anyone we want to. Right, Black Bat?

Cass: (nod)

(The next series of videos is a compilation. The first is Superman being scared, followed by Green Lantern, Flash, Cyborg, Starfire, Dick, Tim, and a failed attempt to startle Wonder Woman. Cass isn’t even upset about not being able to scare the woman, she accepts the defeat with grace.)

——-

Dick, Tim, and Steph: we’re vigilantes.

Dick: I’ve gotten stranded on the moon. Don’t ask.

Tim: I got lost in hell.

Steph: I accidentally followed Green Lantern into space.

Tim: what? When?

Steph: turns out if you hug a Green Lantern really tightly, their life support on their ring will support you too

Dick: yknow, Batman shouldn’t find out about this-

(Cut to Batman’s lecture about the proper use of protective gear when going to space)

——

Dick: we’re vigilantes. Of course we’re best friends with all of the villains.

(Cut to Red Hood kicking down a door)

Jason: hey (bleep), you’re late to dinner

Dick: (currently tied to a chair and gagged)

Jason: hang on, I’ll help. (Shoots everyone and unties dick) Harley said she’s going to rampage if you’re not there in five minutes.

Dick: Blame these guys, not me! (Jumps through the nearest window, shattering it, and the sound of a grapple is heard)

——

Jason: I’m a crime lord

Dick: and I’m a vigilante

Jason: and you’re ruining my video, (bleep) off. (Shoves Dick out of the frame, ignoring Dick’s muttered cursing) now that we got the riffraff out, let me start over. (Brushes imaginary dirt from hands) I’m a crime lord. Of course Batman fights me every other day. I look forward to the day I can break his kneecaps.

Dick: (shocked) Hood!

Jason: what?

Dick: he’s your dad too!

Jason: yuck, don’t remind me.

——-

Duke: we’re vigilantes. Of course we know all of the gossip. (Very obviously looking around) like for example, Superman has the biggest crush on Bruce Wayne—

Clark, who was obviously eavesdropping: Nonononononono—- (trying to turn the camera off as he darts into the frame. There’s a flash of red, blue and yellow as Duke and Clark fight over the camera)

——

Tim: we’re vigilantes. Of course we visit other cities.

Wally, as Kid Flash: What the (bleep) are you doing in Central City?

Tim: I’m honestly not sure, it’s so bright that I think I’m blind.

So I got this comic book in the mail yesterday, and was super excited to read it!! Then I flipped through the variant covers, (they’re hella cool, btw) and then saw this

OKAY DICK, I SEE YOU

I wasn’t expecting it; but I’m not complaining neither. I’m just not exactly sure why it’s included in this?? But I wanted to tell you guys about this find, lmao

“Hey, Tucker? Guess what?” Danny asked, turning to look at Tucker.

Tucker was currently playing Mario Cart on the TV. He didn’t pause his game, or even glance at him. “What?”

“Vicki Vale is accusing Bruce Wayne of being Batman.” He responded.

“No fucking way,” Tucker finally turned to look at him, “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.” He smirked.

“First off, bad pun. Secondly, we both remember how Bruce Wayne got so drunk at last week’s gala that he fell in Gotham Harbor, right?”

“Yep. There was also the time when some class B villain attacked Wayne Enterprises and he got so scared that his butler had to take him home after.” He shrugged.

“We should make a bet.” Tucker finally quit the game and turned to give him his full attention. “Whenever finds out Batman’s true identity first wins. No ghost powers, and no tech.”

“Okay. Let’s write down who we think it is to have it on record.” He set his phone down and pulled his backpack towards him to grab a notebook.

“Nope, that’s cheating.” Tucker declared.

“No, what’s cheating is you googling how tall Batman is.” He scowled.

“It’s google!” Tucker exclaimed. “It’s probably not even accurate anyway. Wiki lists him as between 6’2 and 9 feet. There’s no way possible that Batman is nine feet tall!”

“He’s as tall as the weight of your sins.”

“Eating meat doesn’t count as a sin.” Tucker huffed. “You’re listening to Sam too much.”

“Whatever, dude. Challenge accepted. First person to figure out Batman’s identity wins.”

Batman, pre identity reveal goes to the Watchtower for some buisness. Dick is going through a phase, and insists to come with him, but only hanging to his leg like a koala. He relents, his cape is big enough to cover him, after all.

Later, Flash comes up to him. “Hey, can you take a look at this?”

He reaches his hand out through his cape, exposing Dick as Robin for Flash to see.

“Is that a child?” Flash asked.

“Hrrn.” He grunts.

“Hi!” Dick grins, wide and feral.

After that, it becomes tradition for every few years, Batman hid children under his cape. He simply rolled his eyes as every single one of his children cling to his legs, stomach, and arms like koalas. It was weight training. Nothing was going on. He certainly didn’t want to listen to them complaining later on.

A few years after the first incident, Green Lantern came up to him to ask him something. Only to hear a snicker from Batman’s cape. GL tried to ignore it. He really did. But after a while, the snickers became quiet laughter, and GL could swear he heard “uno.”

So GL pulls back the cape. Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, and Spoiler were under the cape. Each one had uno cards in their hand and looked very annoyed at GL’s interruption.

“Do you mind?” Nightwing asked.

“I knew we shouldn’t have left Signal and Black Bat at home.” Orphan complained.

“Black Bat almost gave Superman a heart attack last time she came with us.” Nightwing pointed out.

“Tt. Signal is too bright to hide under the cape.” Robin added.

“You have a problem, Batman.” Green Lantern looked at the Bat.

“The only problem he has is annoying green turds disrupting our game.” Red hood grabbed the cape and dropped it back over them, and the shuffling of cards could just barely be heard.

Batman opened the door, catching the falling body that had come out of the tube. Glowing green Lazarus water flowed around his feet, but he didn’t care. He gently laid the boy onto the ground, listening for breathing sounds. But he wasn’t even sure if his species could breathe. The boy was no older than Tim, with stark-white hair, and pale green skin. The boy wasn’t human, that was for sure, but as to what species he was, Batman had no clue. The teenager hadn’t even opened his eyes since being removed from the tube.

The Lazarus water didn’t smell quite like the pits he was used to. The water smelled cleaner, stronger. Less like battery acid and more like a strong-scented cleaner that he couldn’t give a name to.

He grasped the boy by the shoulders as he picked him up bridal style. He needed to take the boy to the cave, and figure out if he was even alive. A regular hospital wouldn’t be able to do anything for him.

“Batman, we’ve apprehended the last of the men in white suits.” Red Robin said over the comms.

“Good,” His voice was gruff, “Make sure they don’t escape before police arrive.”

Tim didn’t bother saying anything else to him. Neither of them were in the mood for jokes. Not after what they had seen tonight. They had stumbled across a lab in Gotham in an abandoned warehouse. They had thought that it was a Joker hideout when they first arrived, but they had quickly found out that wasn’t the case. After they had began to investigate, they had found corpses of many people that had been thrown into a pit. The bodies had evidence of vivisection, torture, and experimentation. The bodies had ranged from children to adults, but the results were all the same. They were all dead.

They had found tubes like the ones used at Cadmus. They held a few humanoid-species, but most of them looked like they were in varying stages of death. The only tube that looked like it held someone living had been the teenage boy he now held in his arms.

The worst thing about all of this were that they had no idea what this place was, what they were doing, or why they were in Gotham. They had stumbled in by mistake.

He had a lot of work to do.

“No survivors.” Nightwing’s voice sounded. Not even Dick was in a good mood anymore, and he had been joking around for the last few hours.

Batman looked down at the boy in his arms. The boy hadn’t stirred once, hadn’t moved, and hadn’t breathed. He might be carrying a corpse for all he knew.

“And the files?” He prompted.

“Downloading.” Red Robin’s voice was grim. “You’re not going to like it.”

He didn’t like anything about this situation already. How could it get any worse?

“From what I can tell from skimming through the files,” Red Robin continued, “They were experimenting with people’s souls. They killed all of these people because they wanted to catch their ghost.”

“Hrrn.” He looked away from the teenager in his arms. Maybe he didn’t have a corpse in his arms—but a ghost. A ghost of a teenager he failed to save.

What if it had been Tim lying in his arms? Dick? Jason? Damian? Did this teenager have parents before he died, or were his parents in the pit?

The boy stirred, whipping Bruce’s attention back to him. The boy moaned in pain, starting to writhe in his arms.

“You’re safe now.” He said to the boy. “You’re saved.”

“Nnnngh.” The boy opened Lazarus green eyes to look at him. The eyes were hazy, as if exhaustion plagued them. “Batman?”

“They won’t hurt you ever again.” He promised.

“Where is my sister?” The boy asked. “They took her.”

Dick’s words played on repeat in his mind. No survivors. But the boy didn’t need to know that. Not yet.

“We’re still searching the base. She’ll be here somewhere.” He lied.

The boy closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. But even with Bruce watching him, the boy did not breathe. Maybe he didn’t need to anymore. Tears leaked down the boy’s cheeks, as if he knew Bruce’s lie.

Tucker dug himself in quite a deep hole.

At first, it started because he was bored. He also wanted to test his skills in tech, since he was trained by Technus to use technology in a way nobody living could even do. He first did some simple probing, learning about the system that Batman used and learned how to keep his tracks hidden. He honestly thought breaking into the White House or NASA would be harder than breaking into Batman’s files, but it wasn’t. Everything was absurdly easy to get to. He could see the workarounds in the code just as easily as he could breathe.

Once he learned how to erase his tracks completely, he started with basic knowledge from Batman’s system. Over the course of a month, he read all the police reports, hero and villain reports, and the contingency plans that Batman had. Boy was Batman a paranoid man.

Then he delved deeper. He learned everything there was to know from over a decade of vigilante work. Then he used the Batcomputer (he had found out that it was actually called that from Nightwing himself. He had camera access, of course he was going to spy on the bats.) to hack into the Justice League system. He had to stop the manic chuckle that threatened to spill past his lips. He was just like the ghosts in a way that he loved to indulge his obsessions. And stalking vigilantes had become one of his.

Danny and Sam knew about what he was doing and never tried to stop him. The reason was simple: Tucker had warded against Amity Park so thickly, that not even magic users knew of the town’s existence. It wouldn’t show up on a map, or in books, or in history. Tucker might have used Clockwork for the last part, but the time ghost allowed him to hide Amity Park from the world. So there must have been a reason the ghost had allowed it.

After Tucker gained access to the Justice League files, he had become worried. There was a lot that they didn’t tell the public. The more he read, the more resentful he got. Failed alien invasions, kidnapping, mind control, cloning… the list went on and on.

If he didn’t know that the Justice League were the good guys… he might think they were the villains.

But they were the good guys, right?

He wasn’t so sure anymore.

It had been almost four months since he had first hacked Batman’s computer. From what he could tell after hacking Bruce Wayne’s cell phone, nobody knew that he was inside their systems. Nobody was that good of an actor. He would watch the Justice League briefings, watch their day to day, learn all the gossip, and then he would check Batman’s computer. It was a ritual he had started. A way to keep Amity Park safe should the Justice League turn against them or the world. He made his own contingency plans based off of Batman’s plans. The exception being that as a last resort, his plans would be fatal to anyone who struck against him. He just hoped that the day would never come.

Everything changed when Pariah Dark stole Amity Park. It had taken the Justice League almost two days to realize that there was a gigantic crater in Illinois. Nobody knew what had happened. When the city reappeared, the borders that had once protected it were also stripped away. The systems had been damaged in the fight, and in the teleportation process. There were so many that had died in the battle, so many more that were now homeless, or orphans. The city mourned for the dead—and the dead mourned their sacrifice. The evil King had been dethroned, but would Amity Park be the same? The world now knew it existed, and there was no ghost portal for him to run to Clockwork from. They were on their own.

As Tucker watched the Justice League try to help the citizens, he felt anger in the pit of his stomach. These people, these ‘heroes’, what would they learn about his people? Were they going to hurt them like they’ve hurt their own?

No. He was not going to let them hurt anyone from Amity Park.

He solicited all of the teenagers of Amity Park to help him rebuild the borders. Kick out the Justice League. His plan was met with some resistance, but they trusted Tucker. Within 24 hours, they had gotten the borders back online. The Justice League were then forced out of the town, and the town disappeared from existence once more.

Now if only he could get rid of the Justice League that tried to linger. Batman himself was proving difficult to get rid of. Especially since all of his bats kept trying to come out to play. Well Tucker had an ace up his sleeve too, and two could play that game.

One of the Batkids is hiding a secret. Nobody is sure who it is, and nobody will confess. It started with a book. The book was what to expect with a pregnancy. Then odd things started to turn up around the manor. One of the spare bedrooms had been turned into a nursery, a baby blanket was found in the library, and multiple pacifiers, bottles, and burp cloths had been hidden around the manor.

Bruce was going to go insane if he didn’t figure it out. It had been over a month now. The only one he knew that couldn’t be the culprit was Damian, since he was only 10. The rest of them were suspects.

Tim: Damian, can you feel that?

Damian: I do not care for your antics, Drake.

Tim: it’s my disappointment in you.

Jazz was minding her own buisness when Joker led Batman down the street she was walking down. The group of Gothamites around her started to scatter immediately, but there was chaos and confusion about which way to go. Joker used this chaos to his advantage and pulled out a grenade.

“You can catch me, or you can save them. Make your choice, Batsy!” Joker cackled as he pulled the pin on the grenade and threw it into the crowd of civilians.

Batman lunged for the grenade, but Jazz was closer. She didn’t know what motivated her to grab the grenade in her hands, but she scooped it up and clamped her fingers around it just as it exploded.

“No!” Batman grunted.

Luckily for Jazz and the crowd, the explosion was contained in her hands and nobody was harmed. Unluckily for Jazz, both Joker and Batman were now staring at her.

“I can explain.” She said lamely, but the silence stretched on several seconds. She had no explanation. Deciding to pull a Danny, she put the shrapnel into Batman’s hand and ran.

Alternate Young Justice timeline.

When Dick is 10, he asks Bruce how babies are made. Bruce, not wanting to tell a 10 year old how sex works, just responds with “you find them as orphans.” Dick, an orphan, accepts this theory. It isn’t until a few years later that he learns the truth.

Dick, now 14, stares up at the Cadmus cloning tube that held a Kryptonian-human hybrid. “Maybe they come from tubes.” Dick says to himself.

Dick decides that Conner is his baby now, regardless if the teen looked older than him. After he told Bruce and the Justice League about how they found Conner, and everyone watched first hand as Superman deflects Conner’s existence and leaves.

Bruce taps his earpiece and says, “Agent A? Can you get a room ready?”

Conner goes home with Dick and Bruce, and doesn’t become Superboy, but Batboy. Conner Wayne is loved and happy with his new family.