ontological

Ryo internally: kicking screaming thrashing wailing

Ryo out loud:

no missed opportunity

these are my braincells

They're adorable

thank you i grew them myself

this is me irl btw

2010-09-17

Ohhhhhh that makes me so MAD [charges at you with limited tracking, crashing into a pillar or wall and exposing the weak point on my back]

"Try to withstand this" I yell, launching into an uninterruptable flurry of attacks that leave me competely winded and vulnerable for several seconds afterwards.

Everyone obsessed with Twitter is a terminally online culture war victim trying to forge a media career and addicted to spiking their own cortisol and they need to get a real job and integrate into society. Sooo glad that I meanwhile am unemployed in a chic way and spend all my time on Tumblr which denotes a refined, even aristocratic sensibility and a noble commitment to upholding a vanishing way of life in an uncomprehending world

sexting responses

SCARED NOBLE: [fat coinpurse jingling as he whirls around] who goes there?!

ME: *emerges from the shadows like a sharks fin breaching the surface of a dark ocean* ...

OVERLY CONFIDENT NOBLE: she's but one rogue! guards, deal with her!

GRIZZLED MERCENARY: no fucking way man that's the legendary bandit known only as the dead man, the blade in the dark, the living weapon, the mutant, the darkness of the heart, the one-eyed demon, god-stabber, the nightscourge, the darkstalker, vengeance, the viper of darkwood valley, dragonthief, the final bandit, the obsidian gaze and the eye in the dark, the priestslayer and the clericsbane, gloomdagger, flameborn, deathwalker, terror of the heavens, the bane, the dark smothering the light as evening breaks, the poisoned chalice, elf ear licker, the blademaster, the soulless one, the holy man's lament, the wretch, death's shadow, the grim omen, foul dweller, the deadly gambit, shadow-heart, death-dealer, the hidden blade, jane, herald of desolation, the bloody fable, the piercing sorrow, the swamp-shade, strider, hero's folly, the contemptible scoundrel, night's edge, the viper's sting, el cazador, giantslayer, fate-stealer, soul-render, hope's end, avatar of despair, the wraith, ghostblade, 死, nightfall, the phantom, the last resort, bloodthirst, unquenchable fury, rogue warrior, the heartless one, the leaden soul, the martyr of darkness, unholy fury, blackguard, breaker of vows, spiritbreaker, the nightmare, killer, the enemy of all living things, snakeblood, the immutable truth, the vengeful revenant, depraved fool, the killing machine, the beast of bones, brutal operator

ME: ... *draws my blade*

GUARDS: you're on your own! *runs away in a cacophony of clattering armor*

(XユーザーのGemi Ningenさん: 「Steel Ratkin 🐀 https://t.co/cNW7TqaWHU」 / Xから)

they should make nocturnal animals that don't make terrifying screaming sounds

please stop screaming im gonna pee

i want my wife im scared of the dark

Well why don't you scream with them?

Then you can be loud and scary.

But Then They'll Find Me

when it’s really bad again and it’s still way better than it used to be but it’s still really bad. and you do all the right stuff and you try and try and it still really hurts but it’s working but it still hurts and you go see the beautiful majesty of nature and your soul is so close to being at peace but your mind is still in pain. and it’s better but it’s still bad. and the sun is setting.

Twin boys

wire son and cloth son

Commander Oghra Bloodbath, Butcher of Vallendale: Tonight our army of Darkness meets its final challenge! We will cut our way through the Elven forces in the Darkwoods and march into their capital! Nothing shall stand in the way to the Dark Empress's victory!

me, her gay little catfolk adjutant: *thumbs up* Good luck out there everyone but please don't burn and pillage too much though, the Dark Empress's economic plan requires the collection of taxes from the Elven Queendom's lands for the next 5 years at minimum, plus access to the natural resources of the magic plant and animal life of the Darkwoods. Last time you just kinda massacred and destroyed everything in Vallendale and the whole conquest ended up being just a waste of resources with no material returns other than 3-4 orphaned Chosen Ones we had to hunt down and assassinate before they met a wizard mentor. That's all from me, may Darkness forever envelop the four corners etc. etc.

the war elephant: 🐘