Dunkirk (2017) dir. Christopher Nolan || Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) dir. Ol Parker

#this is. HANDS DOWN. the funniest post i’ve ever seen

anti sjws: lol those ess jay woos get hash tag triggered by everything. have you tried not being a little bitch?

a 16yo: *goes by they/them pronouns*

anti sjws:

Was going to make an actual debate but I just found out op thinks grammar is a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT. LMAOOOOOOOOO op probably didn’t pass high school English anyway this is pointless

Are you unaware of what a social construct is or do you think we pick grammar off grammar trees or something?

America take notes

Started from the bottom

tumblr user, drinking a bottle of uncontaminated water in post apocalyptic america: i love this?? this is so pure omg

tumblr user, finding a miraculously untouched packet of frozen pastries in post-apocalyptic america: beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure

tumblr user, succumbing to dehydration in the wilderness of post-apocalyptic america: my hands are literally shaking as I type this

tumblr edgelord, to a booby-trap in post-apocalyptic america, an arrow embedded deep in their chest: i’m sorry, are you triggered? 

tumblr user, attempting to reestablish a pony express mail service across the shattered remnants of post-apocalyptic america: this post is important

tumblr user, standing behind thousands of other refugees from post-apocalyptic america, straining to hear the instructions of the volunteer who is giving them their floor space assignments: say it louder for the people in the back

tumblr user, handing out vials —filled with a cure for the plague which has devastated the world— to the remaining people of post-apocalyptic america: spread this like wildfire

tumblr user, checking the post-apocalyptic town’s notice board for information important to rebuilding: why doesn’t this have more notes??

tumblr user, about to venture out into a dangerous part of the post-apocalyptic world with a small group of volunteers for whom they care for dearly and are concerned about the mental wellbeing of and the impact the adventure could have on them: if you don’t like this unfollow me right now

tumblr user, watching a boy be dragged into the stocks of a post-apocalyptic settlement for the crime of stealing a crust of bread: FREE HIM

Post post modernism

tumblr user, trekking on foot across the burned out plains of post-apocalyptic america in search of refuge for what seems like forever: Is Canada even real?

tumblr user, being offered bark tea to fend off against scurvy in post-apocalyptic america: This tea is HOT!

tumblr user, alone and searching for the warmth and comfort of other humans and being jumped by a group of post-apocalyptic american vigilantes: I came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

tumblr user, caring for a nursery of small children, the last children born into this broken, dying world, gently feeding them watery broth: take a fuckin’ sip babes

tumblr user, watching a suspicious figure approach the gates of their ramshackle settlement in post-apocalyptic america: who is she

tumblr user, looking helplessly at their shattered pole weapon before perishing in the battle circle of post-apocalyptic america: wtf staff

Montreal Canadiens goalie Carey Price and NHL Awards host Rob Riggle go around the casino to see if anyone recognizes Carey Price. (x)

I don’t know who’s wedding they’re at, but you know bitty is thinking “oooohhh man i want this i want this i want this”

Thanks to @redporkpadthai for the prompt!

Read the comic here.

#what if they are at Bon and Alicia’s wedding anniversary? like maybe their 30 and they have a vow renewal thing in their house#like they have a super cute ceremony in their backyard which is of course massive and it’s all decorated with fairy lights#and Jack and Bitty have been together for a while and they both have been feeling the excitement of the day#and they are slow dancing now and they are both thinking it pretty loudly#and they look at each other and neither of them says anything in that moment but they both know they are in the same page#and a week later Jack pulls out the ring he bought years ago#right after the 4th of July visit#because he knew then#and had just been patiently waiting for Bitty to be ready too#because this time he knew first (via @itsybittle)

This is 110% @kvmalakhvn‘s fault for sending me that femslash post.

Jacqueline Zimmermann, the daughter of famous model and actress Alicia Zimmermann, and lesser known hockey star Bob Zimmermann, is six foot tall. She’s been pressured all of her life to become a model like her mom, but she found that playing hockey with her dad helped her relieve stress and anxiety. Now she’s the captain of the Samwell Women’s Hockey team and is noted for having the best glutes on campus, rivaling even the men’s hockey captain’s. 

Erica Bittle is from small town Georgia where cheer is life. Her mother was a cheerleader back in the day and encouraged her to pursue it too, but Erica is afraid of heights and hates being tossed. Her dad encouraged her to stay in sports though so she started figure skating, which is where she met the community hockey team and the rest is history. Her teammates call her Bitty because she’s a proud member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. 

bonus:

my sons!!!

so i just got back from the ball and i am soooo drunk but i want to talk about my sons!!! no one at uni cares about my sons!!! so here are my sons

jack laurent zimmermann is my favourite son. he just is. i think relate to him a lot with the anxiety thing and the gay thing and the pressure thing and the neverr thinking you are worth anything thing like whoa boy u stealin my thoughts??? anyway yawn sadness but really baby zimmermann is my fave bc he’s the one i’m the most protective of like. i think he needs protecting even tho he’s taller than me and stronger than me and has ice blades. he is my poor son and he needs protecting from mean things and people. also he loves loves loves bitty and so do i and bitty and jack are p much perfectly matched awwwww

bitty bits bittle is my other favourite son, also known as my sweet southern son i love him. i love him. how could u not love him. i like jack think bitty is basically a godsend and i love ??? him ???? he’s brave. he’s sweet. he’s passive agressive and snarky and perfect and he aint shit at uni work and i feel that, i really feel that, and he loves jack which i also feel. itty bitty bittle is my fave lil southern babe and he is my other favourite son who is going to marry my favourite son

shittyyyyyy!!! shits. love of my life. light of my eye. apple of my bitty pie. love love love this man. so cute. my husband not my son. he’s like that boy who thinks i fancy him except he’s extroverted and loud and unashamed and i just??? he’s so much more my type than that boy tbh. i mean hes fictional but he’s still my type. love me some shitty knight. i also get the hair thing

lardo :O :O :O lardo lardo lards. larissa. beautiful. angel. i love her. i would be v happy if we kissed. i would also be v happy if she and shitty kissed. i would also be v happy if she kissed like camilla collins or smt. like a girl basically i’m saying lardo is bi/pan. she can be my wife. she’s so tiny and scary and badass nd she did that abroad study which was cool. she manages a team of hot boys but she doesn’t skate and i respect that bc ice is hard like you’re on blades?? on ice??? fucking wild man anyway lardo is a badass babe bisexual and i love her

rans and holtz are my d-men sons. they love each other. they are very sweet and kind but also kinda dumb even though they’re smart?? especially ransom boy he is smart but he also can’t figure out bitty is gay which tbh is p obvious though maybe he can have kudos for not assuming? but maybe not bc it’s p heteronormative to assume he likes girls. idk anyway that’s holtz too, they both didn’t get bitty glaring gayness but nvm. but they mean so well and they care so much and tbh they’re really sweet on each other aren’t they, are the bros or are they future husbands to eachother who knows

kent parson. kenny p. parse. parsely boy. my trash son. i love him bc of that meta which explained all about his weak ass pining for zimms for like five years and i felt bad for him but he still a dickhead tbh. still a pain in the bitty butt also in the zimmerass u kno? want the best for his cute head but also want to shake him a bit and tell him to leave my favourite son the fuck alone, it’s never going to happen, you two are bad for each other, he is in love with someone else and you’re obsessing over someone who doesn’t really exist anymore???? fuckin grow up u fuck. but also i would help him get over his pining and himself with ice cream and blankets and movie nights u kno

chowdER. the chow. what a sweetheart. he’s nice bc even though he’s really like over enthusiastic and guilable and bitty babies him a bit he’s actually a beast on the ice and has a girlfriend who seems cute and well adjusted and i’m v happy for him.  he is my sensible son. he also really likes sharks which i don’t but he loves jack which i do so extra kudos there

tango just has a great name tbh. he is my great named son. i also kind of ship him with kent and i don’t know why??? explain

whiskey is my trans son which is not his title but i am saying i one hundred and ten thousand percent am here for that headcanon and i hope it is canon bc whiskey is a trans man okay. he is. anyway idk much about whiskey yet like tango but he is my good haircut son. look at that hair. so good

i love my husband and my wife and my sons :))))))

i forgot dex and nursey holy shit!!! my other sons. dex is my irish son. that’s p much all we have in common except he likes nursey and i like nursey, i know he says he doesn’t but we all see through that bullshit don’t we. dex needs to learn abt the real world bc why the fuck he voting republican, i mean i get gay conservatives exist also he defs has internalised homophobia buut like. still. u at samwell brah that should teach u a thing or two

nursey is my wee poet son. he is also very hot and has a cool name. derek malik nurse. damn son. he also is really in love with dex and pines a lot and basiically he is cute and funny and chirps the shit out of dex and he has great hair though not as good as whiskey’s cut but it looks soft. dex wants to run his hands through it

Happy 21st birthday Bitty!

Hey! Remember last year, when this happened???