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Racing Turtles

@zenosanalytic / zenosanalytic.tumblr.com

"Why run, my little Phoenician?"
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trek-tracks

Imagine this. You're Spock. You've tried not to get yourself emotionally involved with your crewmates. It's not going very well. Your doctor goes and contracts a terminal illness and doesn't tell you (but luckily your captain can't go three seconds without breaking Space HIPAA or whatever exists in the future) and then tries to run away and die on an asteroid. You take out the Instrument of Obedience, privately thinking that it would be nice to have some control over this maniac you somehow care about's actions. You spend Surak knows how much time downloading and translating an entire civilization's medical library to cure him. No problem. It was just an incurable disease. You didn't need to sleep this month.

Two episodes later, another alien civilization tries to check said doctor out like he's a library book and then writes "withdrawn" on his forehead and pretends they don't have to give him back. He tells you to leave to save yourself; he'll stay. Did you mention you decoded an entire medical archive like two weeks ago for---fine. You go through unspeakable emotional violations to put him back into circulation on the Enterprise. It's cool. You didn't need your dignity anyway.

Two episodes after that, your illogical, self-sacrificial doctor mutinies and sedates you--the ranking officer in charge--undoing the fact that, again, how many hours did you spend? Curing an incurable illness because you couldn't let him die? Singing like an idiot in front of a bunch of snickering Platonians with laurel leaves on your head and no pants to speak of?--so he can get himself tortured to death on your behalf. You convince an empath to save him. He pushes her away because he "can't destroy life." Your captain is crying. The shiny force field shows everyone that you're having very non-shiny emotions. Do Vulcans even believe in hell

You think you've finally reached some sort of sacrificial detente. It's been a while. Neither of you have died on the other's behalf. You've both had to save your captain a few times, but that's normal. All in a day's work. Then said captain wants all three of you to check out a mysteriously abandoned library of time periods. You should have figured you would wind up in some sort of frozen wasteland with your doctor and no perceivable way to return what you'd borrowed. Well. At least there's the two of you so that you can keep an eye on--

He falls down in the snow. His hands are blue. "Go on without me," he says, dramatically. "Alone, you have a chance."

yeah I'd strangle that fucker against a cave wall too

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trek-tracks

When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense...

call that the Ship of Thesaurus

Any educator who doesn't feel this on a visceral level has never had to experience the psychic pain of reading the phrase "Unused York City."

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maniculum

A lecturer at Middlesex University in 2014, Chris Sadler, coined the term "Rogetism" for these. Perhaps the best:

I'm trying to hide my plagiarism but the clapping of my sinister buttocks keeps alerting the lecturer

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trek-tracks

Realizing that Amok Time, from T'Pring's perspective, is basically the equivalent of a Vulcan Hallmark Movie, where a holiday (Pon Farr) makes our hero realize she wants hometown boy Stonn and a simple (Vulcan) life instead of big-city (space) boyfriend Spock, and it all comes to a head in an embarrassing misunderstanding in front of her family, is certainly making me feel some kind of way

I will never watch this episode the same again.

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trek-tracks

Do you ever think about how Kirk had a "best friend" on the ship before Bones in Gary Mitchell, a man who:

  • a) deviously manipulates him into heartbreak for Mitchell's benefit,
  • b) shames him for not being "fun" enough when he's in a position of power,
  • c) openly insults intelligent and powerful women,
  • d) treats everyone cruelly as soon as he gets power and tries to seize everything for himself,
  • e) finds it fascinating that he can stop a person's heart for fun, and
  • f) tries to murder Kirk instead of admitting that he's a danger to the universe,

and then chooses to replace him with Bones, a man who:

  • a) tries to save Kirk from heartbreak at every opportunity,
  • b) gets him to smile and relax by being genuinely interested in how he's doing and telling him that he's great and respected just as he is,
  • c) openly toasts intelligent and powerful women,
  • d) treats everyone kindly as soon as he gets power and tries to use it to help as many people as he can,
  • e) cries about how people suffered when medical treatments were less advanced, and
  • f) says, "Jim, I can't destroy life, even if it's to save my own. I can't."

because I do

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athelind

For more compare-and-contrast:

  • Gary Mitchell cultivates the image of being a smiling, cheerful, glad-handing frat boy to cover up his inner cruelty and seething resentment.
  • Leonard McCoy cultivates the image of being a grumpy, crotchety curmudgeon to cover up his innate decency and deep compassion.
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trek-tracks

When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense...

call that the Ship of Thesaurus

Any educator who doesn't feel this on a visceral level has never had to experience the psychic pain of reading the phrase "Unused York City."

Avatar
maniculum

A lecturer at Middlesex University in 2014, Chris Sadler, coined the term "Rogetism" for these. Perhaps the best:

Avatar
Avatar
trek-tracks

Realizing that Amok Time, from T'Pring's perspective, is basically the equivalent of a Vulcan Hallmark Movie, where a holiday (Pon Farr) makes our hero realize she wants hometown boy Stonn and a simple (Vulcan) life instead of big-city (space) boyfriend Spock, and it all comes to a head in an embarrassing misunderstanding in front of her family, is certainly making me feel some kind of way

All of our Triumvirate are actually the Bad Hallmark Boyfriend in either alpha or beta canon, actually:

  • Spock gets dumped by T'Pring for Stonn because Spock is too famous and high-powered
  • Jim gets dumped by Carol because he's too intent on being Captain and she wants to pursue her own interests
  • Bones is dumped by Jocelyn for hometown boy Clay because he's too much of a workaholic doctor who prioritizes medicine over their relationship
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trek-tracks

“I am allowed to reference my wife in this context. I enquired whether it would be appropriate, and her response was affirmative. I love and respect Amanda very much. So I said to her, ‘We have been married for many years and have raised several children with varying success.’ And she knew that. I said, ‘Do you mind if I still speak of your emotionalism on stage?’ And Amanda said, ‘Yes, Sarek, you may do this. But just don’t say that I’m a human and that you don’t like me.’ I thought, ‘The qualifications for success are so much lower than I had previously theorized. That is all?’”

“I would never say that. It would be illogical to create such a show. Hello. My wife is human, and I do not like her. No. Go find a support group for insecure Vulcans in crisis, with keynote speakers Sybok and Spock. I would never say that, not even in jest, that my wife is human and I do not like her. That is not true. My wife is human and I find her presence very agreeable. She is a dynamite, five-foot, Jewish human and she is more than adequate. She and I have totally different styles. When Amanda walks down the street in ShiKahr, she does not care what anyone thinks is logical. Amanda is my hero.”

(When you watch “Star Trek” after “Kid Gorgeous” and have a dream that Sarek goes on a Vulcan comedy tour)

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trek-tracks

So @spockslash has written extensively about the fact that nothing bugged Gene Roddenberry so much as the concept of there still being zippers and buttons in the future.

You know what that means?

When Roddenberry went off about how terrible zippers and buttons were,

he was…

FASTEN-HATING.

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spockslash

HAHAHA! And look at what @trek-tracks did!!!  I love it!

Gosh, is it my birthday?? Oh wait – it just was, so maybe that’s why the universe is giving me such delight today, via my lovely fandom family here on tumblr!  <3 <3 <3

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