Racing Turtles

this is impenetrable armor

It was forged with love

Enchanted armor

Russian stillsuit :| :| :|

but it only works if 4 people are having sex lol

how many hands you got

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

allow me illustrate you

that’s still four people

i truly can’t make this any clearer

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

don’t know what you’re on about. will smith and slightly wider blue will smith have been married for years. they’re a hollywood love story

I can’t believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

If we lose tumblr how will we ever replace these posts in which every reply feels like a punch in the face

just keep in mind that the only reason Gillette cares about toxic masculinity at all is because they’re losing tons of money to Dollar Shave Club and Harry’s, as well as other, smaller startups. Not to mention the fact that the shaving industry is in a downturn in general for a variety of reasons.

I like how they’ve divided the Star Wars canon between the new stuff and Extended Universe because now people will say shit like “Oh yeah, Darth Vader wore that armor, but only in the EU” and I’ll be like damn, guess that one was a Europe exclusive.

here’s a hot take: giftwrap is dumb, 95% of the time you can just hand someone the thing and accomplish the same task. Society has conditioned us to love wrapping shit up for no reason, probably by gift wrap industry people.

Counterpoint: monkey instinct says uncovering secret bounty from colorful shell good as fuck

I made gift wrap out of this post

@koobaxion

jesus h christ

here’s a hot take: giftwrap is dumb, 95% of the time you can just hand someone the thing and accomplish the same task. Society has conditioned us to love wrapping shit up for no reason, probably by gift wrap industry people.

Counterpoint: monkey instinct says uncovering secret bounty from colorful shell good as fuck

Unwrapping The Wrap is part of the gift you absolute fool

supposedly homestuck will definitively end in about one month from now

Andrew Hussie says that in his sleep. It means nothing. When I met him once, he told me that like five times in a row. I was writing him a ticket for speeding. Don’t believe his lies.