its probably for the best that humans dont have wings. imagine trying to act nonplussed and your shirt starts lifting off of your back because your stupid bird brain is telling you its time to threat display or get away
plus my plumage would be far more extravagant than yours and I wouldn’t want you to feel bad
my plumage would literally make you so attracted to me
we trained our ai on a complete average of every tumblr post ever made but now all it says is “earth-destroying piss beam” and nothing else
I hired that ant to walk on you
The bad news: alien megastructure found buried beneath the arctic circle contains “no bitches” according to sources
fog of war in the grocery store
clicks you. commands you to explore
on it boss
there's cheese in here boss
“Your pet would eat you if you died near it” yeah well so would a lot of people. My pet isn’t special. I give them food meal & never let them outside. Are they gonna open wet food themselves when I’m gone? Are you stupid? If I have to be the wet food to buy a little guy some time so be it. Fuck off
"so would a lot of people" we can test this
hey.
get out of the summoning circle you stupid little fruit
[Upon death, GOD and I are sitting in a theatre watching a compilation of all my previous lives]
[I am getting increasingly frustrated as I realize no matter what, every single life ends in a beheading no matter how out of place for the location/time period]
[GOD thinks this is the funniest shit and I’m just not having it ]
funniest thing about the “reddit migration” is that I haven’t seen a single post shitting on anyone coming from Reddit. when twitter started bleeding users everyone was firing rent-lowering posts but with redditors skittering about we’ve left the doors open and put out food bowls
Trying to prevent gentrification vs trying to rehome feral cats.
reddit provides a service to the internet (tech help and niche porn) and we need them to feel comfortable here otherwise they'll all be spread out among (!) different social networks with names like 'shlebber' and 'falfar'
The authors’ intentions here were not just to signify the curtains were blue- but to trick you!
The author disliked you personally, and wanted to send you down a path of anti-intellectualism; a path you thought you’d carved yourself in direct “defiance” of the author!
A life where you ignore the symbolism and meaning of all works, boiling them down to their most basic meanings rather than what they represent. The author does this because he is a Time Wizard. The curtains were red btw
This cute little thing is called a “meeple mouse!” They float around on little strawberry-shaped balloons and deliver treats to their friends. Their very existence is anathema to human kind. If even a single “meeple mouse” breaks through the veil of fiction, the rivers will run red with our blood. They also sleep in moonbeams
all religions are true including whatever the theological implications minecraft is putting out there
Very wrong. Explain Herobrine then.
"hell is real and we should strip mine it for resources"
Isn't that the plot to Doom?
“mechs aren’t practical for combat” good. then it’s more ethical to use them for war, since they’re worse at killing. Obviously. Stop being so stupid and make giant robots instead of tanks and jets, and bombs, and other stupid shit. All international disagreements should be handled via a combination of anonymous hatemail and giant robots with swords
