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#cipheramnesia – @zenosanalytic on Tumblr
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Racing Turtles

@zenosanalytic / zenosanalytic.tumblr.com

"Why run, my little Phoenician?"
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I think Ortus could have fixed Column.

Not necessarily sexually I just think Ortus would be like, "Dang, your necromancer is trash buddy. Do you like poetry?"

It could also be sexual but mostly and somewhat ironically probably all Column needs is a little support. They can fuck also, that's cool too.

Looking at Column, some guy who spent his whole life getting eaten alive by a parasite, just all "Bro this is most unromantic, let me tell you about the most triumphant and righteous cavalier- do you a couple free days?"

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penny-anna

I'm not really a HanLuke shipper but I can imagine them hooking up early in their friendship & then Han later after various revelations having a personal crisis over whether or not it's weird to have sex with both halves of a set of twins

& like he can't ask anyone if it's weird without admitting that he's already done it. he could talk to Luke about it bcos obviously Luke already knows but he's kind of avoiding the subject with Luke in case drawing attention to the fact that he's dating Luke's sister prompts a shovel talk. he's pretty sure Luke can kill people with his brain now and he doesn't want to have that particular shovel talk if he an avoid it.

If Han came to me with this kind of question, I would be very supportive and make sure he didn't uncomfortable about having to ask the question because most of all this is about his feelings.

However, I would also desperately need to know if Luke used the force on that thang, and Han also knows I would ask, which is why he never brings these problems to me.

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Harrow: my deepest darkest trauma is that my parents killed a bunch of children in order to make me into a powerful necromancer. they died for me. their blood is on my hands.

Gideon: that sucks dude. anyways I'm going to sacrifice myself to save your life. you'll be an even more powerful necromancer. pretty sick, huh?

Gideon: why are you so upset about this

Gideon: is it because you don't like me

Gideon: my deepest darkest trauma is that nobody ever cared if I lived or died, except for you. the thought of being forgotten entirely by everyone is so terrifying to me that I have never cared if you loved me or hated me, as long as you were as obsessed with me as I was with you.

Harrow: that sucks dude. anyways I'm going give myself a lobotomy so I forget about you entirely. this will preserve your soul so you can maybe hypothetically come back someday.

Harrow: why are you so upset about this

Harrow: is it because you don't like me

But you guys at least told each other all that, right?

You said something?

Right?

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I just think it would be funny to switch things up and lead with "popular far-right online blogger, Joan Rowling" once in awhile.

"Joan Rowling, most famous for her staunch opposition to equal rights through her popular Twitter blog"

"Long time advocate against women's rights, Joan Rowling."

"Joan Rowling, a major contributor to the conservative party"

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I wish there was a single word to describe the way anything, the instant it falls into investor hands, takes a massive quality nosedive, absolutely scorcher earth unusable. While simultaneously any time any single one of those investors or major shareholders makes any kind of public comment, without being filtered through several public relations experts, about literally anything at all, they reveal they have a grasp of the world similar to a four year old, but with far less ability for self reflection or basic reasoning. And, parallel to this, the only positive qualities of whatever the investors sullied turn out to come exclusively from middle to bottom tier employees fighting tooth and nail for a shred of product quality, enduring a monsoon of ridicule from said investors who subsequently take credit for the minor uptick in quality for something they remain determined to ruin. And at no point does anyone on the investor end even by accident consider themselves the source of the commensurate nosedive in consumers and profit, despite mountains, oceans, galaxies of evidence piled around them.

There should be like one derogatory word for this, and don't say "capitalism" because no investor thinks of capitalism as derogatory.

Noting that Private Equity sometimes works (Barnes and Noble came back, no one expected that), it's MBA Brain.

Where-in business majors think that being a smart person means you can learn domain knowledge about massive complex businesses on-site as it were.

Which is I think true up to a point. Go read Edge City, remember 8 numbers, and do a lot of 4th grade math, and you can at least understand the shape of urban planning problems at some level and grok some rules of thumb about possible solution spaces. IE: A Manager trying to understand what his subordinates are telling him. \

But it's not perfect.

And this combines with quarterly share price brain optimizing for local minimums to destroy great American companies like GE, Boeing, and Twitter as you toss hard-earned crystalized knowledge out the doors and windows as fast as you can.

/40% sure. 90% was a lot.

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scarubaru

To put a finer point on the Barnes and Noble comeback: it worked because Elliot hired a CEO who’s been in the book business for decades, and actually gives a shit about it. So I think this is a case of someone in the private equity world realizing that industry knowledge is useful if you want a company to be run profitably. That success based on this approach is viewed as a fluke goes back to the whole MBA-brain comment, yeah.

Yeah but I think it's finer than this.

Like: Business school teaches that there is ONE Objectively Correct way to run companies, and this way is never questioned no matter how many companies fail being run like that because it's not ACTUALLY Objective in the same sense that the theories of gravity or evolution are objective, but "objective" in the sense that Economics as a field is, which is to say: Ideological.

MBA's run businesses the way they do because business school taught them that's how you run companies, and it taught them that because every single "business school" in existence was started by some rich jerk not wanting his endowment money going to those dirty hippies in the Liberal Arts department, or the pointdexters in the Sciences who are always telling him that's not how anything works. Business schools exist to teach people to be good capitalist ideologues(ie: good conservatives), not to actually run businesses successfully.

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My most favorite story is when there's no hand of destiny and no uniquely skilled protagonist, just one fuckass stumbling backwards into the middle of a conflict they didn't know existed, but now they can't get out of it so they'll do the next best thing and make sure they're winning. It won't be magic or amazing, because they weren't even supposed to be there and no one really planned around it.

Giving it up for all the Ace McShanes and the John Crichtons who weren't uniquely perfect for the catastrophic worlds they got isekaied into but made it work with a rigorous application of high explosives and mathematics.

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mollyjames

Plot twist: the two boys you're choosing between are polyamorous, but they also hate eachother's guts so you still have to pick one

Sorry but watching them fight gets me off, I'm keeping them both in a jar and shaking it up and down every hour.

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"Kill them with kindness"

No, sacred fire!

🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥🌈🔥

Regular fire also works, don't let them rip you off with the overpriced sacred bullshit.

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jame7t

funniest thing about the “reddit migration” is that I haven’t seen a single post shitting on anyone coming from Reddit. when twitter started bleeding users everyone was firing rent-lowering posts but with redditors skittering about we’ve left the doors open and put out food bowls

Trying to prevent gentrification vs trying to rehome feral cats.

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yanmagotchi

reddit provides a service to the internet (tech help and niche porn) and we need them to feel comfortable here otherwise they'll all be spread out among (!) different social networks with names like 'shlebber' and 'falfar'

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The funniest thing you could do in any new outer space adventure / exploration media is have someone invite the ship's medic to the bridge and they'd be like "fuck no, I'm the main doctor for a whole crew, come see me if you break an arm or something, good luck exploring the surface of the Planet Made of Angry Poison Gas Clouds, With Teeth, Who Love the Flavor of Human Flesh or whatever the fuck it is, adios, see you in the canteen maybe, maybe not I'm fuckin busy." And you just barely ever see that character again.

Or the doctor is a recurring character and every time anyone needs them it's like, "Computer, locate the doctor," and the doctor is always in sick bay. Every time.

"Doctor, could you come to the bridge please? I'd like your opinion."

"Is it a medical opinion this time?"

"Yes."

"Then no, bring your medical question down here, to the medical room, the place specifically set aside for medical questions, filled with medical equipment which... get this... I use to answer medical questions."

AU where "Chief Medical Officer" is Federation Medical Bureauspeak for "Command Liaison Officer" and Nurse Chapel and Ishikawa Keiko were the Head Docs all along, with Bones and Crusher there mainly to run interference u_u

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My new method to avoid eye contact is a low cut top and a push-up bra.

That's right, this whole time I've been on HRT for the distracting and alluring cleavage which serves to alleviate so much otherwise awkward social interactions.

No more complex social small talk to navigate, just people trailing off while their eyeballs do the walking. This whole master plan was a stroke of genius.

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dietspam16

this girl playing 4-d chess with the allistics

Actually it's just 38C but thanks.

Hold on, I might be stupid.

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vaspider

No I think you're playing 38C chess.

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Guys, we were so wrong. We've been misinterpreting horse plinko all along. It's a three-dimensional scene, but depicted without depth perspective. The round things are actually hay bales in a field leading off into the distance and the horse is weaving between them as it moves towards us, with the fire in the foreground.

Thank you, 'sperm flagellar control' side of 'horse plinko lore' tumblr

I cannot, cannot stress enough how difficult this sort of interaction is to find outside Tumblr.

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I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.

jesus christ, i experienced brief but severe grief over not actually being able to experience this.

I think it would feel like a lizard tongue but I've never had a lizard drink out of my hand either, and thus the whole thing remains conceptually elusive.

this put such a vivid image in my head i needed to make it real as soon as i got home

This makes me indescribably overjoyed.

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The Princess (2022) is plastered all over Hulu with a cringing bad trailer and poster art implying a perfectly coifed Bad Girl (tm) will fight her way through a bunch of medieval times rejects to prove to a Guy she's just as good as the men.

The actual movie is a gem, a florid and well oiled machine for telling a very simple story about a princess at the top of a tower who fights her way to the bottom. The bad guys are over the top sneering villains, the fight scenes are much more like a screaming berserker with martial arts fluidity overlayed into the setting that makes it into a kind of fairy tale kung fu movie in the best way.

There are bombastic dramatic speeches that resonate down the line with movies like Princess Bride, and the action sequences punch with just the amount of chaos and blood and messiness. There's some terrible CGI naturally but the whole story is contained inside the single set of the tower in ways that feel ingenious. It's a low budget, low stakes, high hopes movie and watching it brings back happy memories of stumbling into something unexpectedly on a video cassette with a luridly enticing cover.

I have done more to connect this movie to its target audience than every other advertisement.

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