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#troll girls – @zenosanalytic on Tumblr
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Racing Turtles

@zenosanalytic / zenosanalytic.tumblr.com

"Why run, my little Phoenician?"
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I'm not going to say this is the worst idea I've ever had but it's up there

Okay. Apparent troll sexual dimorphism.

Now that this theory has been shown to be false, I... hmm.

Okay, look. We all know that, on a Doylist level, the reason for troll sexual dimorphism (specifically boobs) is that it's seen as default for humanoid aliens and Homestuck is not the kind of media that cares about coherent biology. That has always been the case.

On a Watsonian level, trying to force troll biology to make sense, troll sexual dimorphism is frustrating because the description of troll reproduction makes it seem like they do not have two sexes in the reproductive sense, or else all the humanoid trolls are one sex and the Mother Grub is the other.

They just have two different... morphs, I guess -- actually you could also describe the hemospectrum as morphs. One of trolls' morphisms contains two variants, and the only physical difference we know of for sure is boobs. It often -- though not always -- lines up with troll gender.

And as much as I found the theory squicky, at least it was a Watsonian explanation for a morphism involving boobs that often lines up with troll gender. It held together in a way that 'oh, they're venom glands' and other rationalizations I've heard didn't, at least for me. Now I am back to no explanation, and I don't like that either.

elanorpam said: i would take any assertion on troll nature and biology coming from equius or an equius-adjacent being with a MASSIVE grain of salt. he may believe whatever he’s saying wholeheartedly but he’s also the troll most susceptible to alternian propaganda

Excellent point. Perhaps I will return to my squicky theory.

Maybe you’re getting the relationship wrong here; maybe(obvsl this is total headcanon territory) boobs are a result of pursuing a particular gender, rather than a natural trait others use to mark your gender.

Like: we knows trolls are utterly cybernetic lifeform with incredibly fine mastery of biology and anatomy who undergo a series of significant transmutations during their lifecycle, so what if the cultural girl/boy divide for trolls is more dangerous/less dangerous, and following some procedure which induces the growth of venom-glands is just something “girls” choose to do as part of being “girls”?

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