It’s totally consistent with him in movie 1, too. Like it’s so clear that his entire experience of her is “….oh wow this woman. She’s so amazing. She just gets more amazing. Oh, oh wow. Maybe like I could stay with her. How do I make her like me. I KNOW I WILL STEAL HER A SET OF ARCHEOLOGY TOOLS. SHE LOVES ARCHEOLOGY. YEAH GO RICK.”
And by movie 2 it’s obvious he’s spent the past however many years living a life of “omg am married. TO EVIE. I have a wife. EVIE IS MY WIFE. OH JESUS I HAVE A KID. :D :D I HAVE A FAMILY AND A LIFE. WITH EVIE. WHO IS MY WIFE.”
Interspersed with “why is my wife trying to get us killed. Why is my son trying to get us killed. Or at least himself killed. JONATHAN WHAT YOU DO. Evie no. Evie love of my life no. EVIE. ALEX!! OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE! JONATHAN!!! Why does everyone I love have the self-preservation instincts of SOMETHING THAT HAS NO SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCTS?!”
I love how every historian I know has a list of historically-themed movies a mile long that they will not watch under any circumstances because the inaccuracies in story and costuming make them want to jump off a cliff
But all of them, 100%, with no exceptions agree that the greatest movie of all time is Stephen Sommers' 1999 masterpiece The Mummy starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weicsz
Honestly you don’t even have to change the genre much. Guy probably went through quite the ordeal because of all the people trying to get to Indy.
Day 1: “Professor Jones, hate to bother you but there’s an assassin trying to kill me, do you have...yes I see it...*gunshots* just to make sure, is there any paperwork I can file or should I just call the police?”
Day 85: “Oh fucking try me, I have 84 papers to grade because that lazy asshole went off to fucking Burma in the middle of fucking finals week, if you don’t leave right the fuck now I will awaken that ancient artifact in the corner and turn your intestines into fucking snakes.”
also, don’t forget: the movies are set in the 1930s-50s
so please imagine this 20-year-old girl who’s had to practically fight god to convince everyone that, no, she would NOT be happier with a degree in home economics and yes, she DOES want to be an archaeologist. she’s had to deal with male grad students trying to steal her research and constant patronizing questions about whether she can really handle the dirt and insects out in the field. even Indy, who stands up for her when the department leadership tries to pull Some Bullshit, sometimes treats her like a glorified secretary just out of habit
when the bad guys show up, they are therefore faced with a young woman who exists in a permanent state of simmering rage. she has a sensible wool skirt and practical oxfords and a baseball bat and you can fuck right off if you’re trying to pull this nonsense right after one of her professors just called her “sweetie” for the dozenth time
Okay idk if the timing and logistics match up at all but i just have a fever thought that his TA is none other than Mrs Evelyn O’Connell. Just think about it.
Jones: Are you sure you’re up for this position?
Evie: Dr Jones I assure you that despite being a woman I-
Jones: No no it’s not that, it’s just that there’s a lot of… weird artifacts that come through my door
Evie: Oh, well I actually have some experience with weird
Jones: and sometimes it can get dangerous…
Evie *smiling*: I can handle that as well
(Later in the school year, during a shoot out)
Jones: You weren’t kidding! *gunshots*
Evie pulling out a grenade and chucks it: These ruffians aren’t half as bad Imhotep, and he was nothing compared to midterms *explosion*
Night. Somewhere in desolate wastes of the internet. Anwen and Letterboxd stand on either side of the river of internet movie reviews. Between them the flaming wreck of Letterboxd’s review of the Mummy slowly sinks.
Anwen, “Hey Letterboxd! Looks like I’ve got the all the opinions!”
Letterboxd, “Hey Anwen! Looks like we’re going to call you’re bluff!”
i always liked that imhotep never spoke english. so it was safe to assume that whenever anyone spoke to him or rick yelled at him, he literally had no fucking clue what was going on.
Considering Evie is characterized as indefatigably curious, where is the forbidden The Mummy scene where she spends the entire time Imhotep drags her across Egypt via magic sandstorm harassing him with questions like “What was the real reason women wore cones of fat on their heads? How did Tutankhamun die? Have you personally seen Anubis?”
This week, Gavia and Morgan discuss 1999’s beloved cult classic The Mummy. Topics include, but are not limited to, how the film draws on 1950s film tropes, the lasting appeal of Rachel Weisz’s plucky librarian, Brendan Fraser’s glorious nineties hair, and the baffling decision to “reboot” the franchise with Tom Cruise.
it is the most wonderfully made, historically inaccurate, giddily fun, perfectly paced, goofy horror movie romance novel bullshit bonanza that has ever blessed the silver screen.
i mean it is just so beautifully full of every genre without being overwhelming.we’ve got: comedy, action, suspense, horror, romance, adventure, ancient aesthetics, and it’s a period piece. all perfectly balanced and blended into one movie.
and the characters are so LIT
we got our main babe, evelyn “motherfucking” carnahan, a super-klutz librarian, total history nerd, and certified badass/damsel in distress. she raises the dead on accident, because she cannot resist books, and has the guts to put that motherfucker back where he came from and literally saves the world.evie’s greatest hits:
“what is a place like me, doing in a girl like this?!”
*after totally destroying the library* “i’ve just made a bit of a mess in the library.”
“no harm ever came from reading a book.”
evelyn:*upon opening the tomb* “i’ve dreamt about this since i was a little girl.”rick: “you dream about dead guys?”
then we’ve got rick“brendan fraser” o’connell, your not-so-typical battle hardened gun slinger with a heart of gold. he seems filthy, rude, and a complete scoundrel at first, but then he turns into a literal puppy, with massive heart eyes, that worships the ground evie walks on.rick’s greatest hits:
*screams at mummy*
*screams at sand*
*screams at things that are illogical to scream at*
next is our Comedic Relief Character™, jonathan carnahan, who also rises above his trope. he’s there for the laugh sure, but is never useless. he actively helps to move the plot along and isn’t just there. he also is the farthest thing from brainless and annoying.jonathan’s greatest hits:
evelyn: “have you no respect for the dead?”jonathan: “of course i do, but sometimes i’d rather like to join them.” same.
oh and that time he was like “IMHOTEP” and saved his own ass like that was so smooth, y’all know what i’m talking about right??
then there is ardeth BAE. he is the audience rolling his eyes because *sighs* white people. he’s tired of these motherfucking mummies in this motherfucking desert. literally prettier than everyone.(he has a much bigger role in the mummy returns, but is still so fab here)
and of course THE MUMMY. imhotep. actual emo. literally carved some poetry into the back of his sarcophagus when he was buried alive with flesh eating bugs, because he is that Extra™. just wants to bring his girlfriend back to life so he can make out with her without it being treason.
now i wanna take a moment to talk about the romance. because it is so BEAUTIFUL. like usually in action movies it’s macho man undermines girl and they bone. not here. no time for that shit.
rick and evie have such a great relationship based on mutual respect and affection. they both cater to each other’s strengths and cover each other’s weaknesses. they are the literally definition of: “those two. in a fight, they’re lethal. around each other, they melt”
what else, i could literally talk about this movie all day.
the special effects have held up pretty well.the music score is GORGEOUS.the costumes are amazing.the makeup, especially for anck su namun, OH WOW.the george of the jungle era brendan fraser sign me the fuck up.rachel weisz.
so many good things.
it’s just great.
#i secretly rate every action movie from 0 to the mummy
it’s a beautiful mess of a movie that can be enjoyed by people of all ages and transcends time and posterity as the alpha mummy movie, and to those who disagree i beseech you:
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