My psychiatrist, a relatively-well-known expert in his field: Here’s the thing about doctors: you can’t trust us. You should never trust doctors, because we do not know what we’re doing. Some of us THINK we -
Me: I mean, some of you - I feel like you pay attention to -
Him: No!!! I don’t know what I’m doing, no doctor ever does! It’s part of the job, it’s - just, do your own research, go on PubMed and stuff, tell me if you think I’m wrong, get a second and third and fourth opinion if you think I’m - it’s just, medicine is a bad field! It’s so unscientific and we’re not held to any real kind of STANDARD and we’re just so SMUG - just, don’t trust us! NEVER TRUST DOCTORS.
Me: Okay, so, I swear you this solemn oath: I will look up every medical thing I am ever subjected to on PubMed.
Him, now feeling uncertain of himself again: …except, of course, don’t spend TOO much time on there, don’t tired yourself out - because, you know, we don’t need you getting all hypochondriac and anxious about - everything. And look at the - methodology and everything, obviously, you have to keep in mind that most research is also bad, it’s just - doctors! WE don’t have ANY standards, so -
Me: Yeah, I know, I know, you gotta strike a reasonable uh - paranoia balance?, or, uh -
Him: Yes, right. It’s important to have a REASONABLE LEVEL of paranoia.