as far as i’m concerned all pussy is clown pussy

and brother? i’m about to start honkin

and brother? i’m about to pop a tent. ffor tje circus.

and brotjer??? i’m a ballon aminal

creampie.

i’m spitting up blood

The reason Ianthe is Like That btw is because the locked tomb is an video game told from the perspective of the NPCs and she’s the Player Character, hope this helps!

Trying to romance every character? ✅

Making the worst possible decisions for no reason other than “unlimited power, and my face on posters”? (That was definitely a multi-choice dialogue option) ✅

Constantly being relevant to the plot and thinking every character in the game loves her even though she has almost exclusively caused misery? ✅

First one to reach the big goal, but not a high enough level for the boss fight, so the NPCs had to step in to remind the game that they are also cool and powerful? ✅

Avatar and clothing change options she keeps using all the time? ✅

Had to level up in friendship with the major NPC of the second arc in order to unlock the legendary item that would boost her weapons damage because she accidentally maxed out on magic in character creation? ✅

as far as i’m concerned all pussy is clown pussy

and brother? i’m about to start honkin

and brother? i’m about to pop a tent. ffor tje circus.

and brotjer??? i’m a ballon aminal

creampie.

i’m spitting up blood

Hey bro why did your healthbar just appear. Do you need to talk about somethin

Bro, don't front with me. I can hear your leitmotif

chaotic neutral energies

Games that let you have maximum stealth… He needs a show lol

I refuse to believe this isnt about skyrim

this is TOTALLY about Skyrim XD

One of My Stupidest Campaign Ideas to Date

You know how most D&D campaigns are just faux-medieval Europe with magic and monsters added in with very little consideration as to how the existence of magic and monsters would affect an actual medieval society

Well why not cut the middle man and just run it in medieval Europe with magic and monsters with absolutely no consideration as to how that would have affected society

Go on a quest to steal Charlemagne’s +5 sword Joyeuse

Go and help fight the tarrasque in France

Go fight a giant snail because apparently those assholes were all over the place in the middle ages

Follow in Dante Alighieri’s footsteps and go on a dungeon crawl/spiritual journey to Hell (for character levels 11-20)

Get a medieval bestiary, scribble some stats in the margins, bam, Monster Manual

I’m gonna play a Bard

I dub this game: shitty Ars Magica

This guy gets it

I’m actually glad we don’t live in an RPG world. We really take for granted being able to coexist with most animals. I don’t wanna have to pull out a longsword and beat the shit out of six crabs and two snails while a starfish snipes me with magic bullets every time I go to the beach.

A lil’ guide for the nine races in 5th edition! Drawings by @rpgtoons

Easy guides like this are handy for when you’re getting to know the 5e base classes! (I’m doing a giveaway this month - find out more here)

Responding to queries with unhelpful NPC stock phrases is a Sprite Meme mostly perpetuated by Davesprite and Hal to be annoying, although Nanna sometimes participates because you can never be too old for a good prank. Jade usually acts above it all, but one time Karkat interrupts her while she’s working on something and without turning around she says, “You have to be at least level 12 to talk to me” and the room explodes. 

I forgot to mention Aradia on this post or its tags but she doesn’t even need to be told about this prank because that’s just how she talks normally  

@deliverusfromsburb: #aradia: responds to someone's issues with vaguely cryptic wisdom#person: oh great you're doing it too#aradia: doing what

I like the idea that sorcerers think wizards are nerds

Magical jocks : sorcerers Magical nerds : wizards Magical theater kids : bards Magical goths : warlocks Magical hippies : druids

when you have to conserve every single healing item in your inventory JUST IN CASE

Game idea: You play as a humble peasant who must fight off waves of adventurers who feel entitled to just waltz into your house and loot whatever they please.

LET GO OF MY CHEESE WHEEL YOU JERKFACE

Humble Peasant kills adventurers that enter their home

Humble Peasant keeps their weapons, magic items, and hold

Humble Peasant realizes that stronger and stronger adventurers are coming to claim their growing pile of loot

Humble Peasant builds traps and fortifications to keep them out

Humble Peasant procures exotic pets to help defend their home

Humble Peasant continues to amass more and more loot and attract stronger and stronger adventurers

Humble Peasant has to keep building up and fortifying their home, traps, and pets to keep the adventurers out

Humble Peasant suddenly realizes that they have accidentally built a dungeon. It’s a fucking dungeon now. It’s fortified and full of traps, monsters, and treasure, and the Humble Peasant is the boss.

Humble Peasant realizes that adventurers will never leave them alone now.

Humble Peasant hates adventurers.

Humble Peasant accidentally becomes major villain.

I’d play it

Game idea: You play as a humble peasant who must fight off waves of adventurers who feel entitled to just waltz into your house and loot whatever they please.