I wish IRL star signs actually meant shit aside from like.. gay tumblr overthinking… i wish they were like the elder scrolls ones. Accidentally locked yourself out? Good thing you’re a virgo and you can open a medium lock every 24 hours

Aries: Can talk to the dead

Taurus: Can speak to animals and ally with them

Gemini: Eye lasers

Cancer: Empath powers and the ability to make anyone your friend

Leo: Batshit feral power

Virgo: Vampiric powers

Libra: Can scry into the future

Vriska: Supernaturally lucky

Sagittarius: Brute strength

Capricorn: The ability to piss people off and direct their anger at people you don’t like

Aquarius: Supernatural proficiency with weaponry

Pisces: Can communicate telepathically and invade the dreams of others

Oh hey that-

WAIT A MINUTE…!

Some simple tips for new tumblr users:

1. Upon connecting with the client user, you, the server user, will be met with a control panel allowing you to manipulate your co-player's environment. You will find that you are allowed to deploy four items at no expense. Three of these are rather large machines, and one is a punch card.

2. It's quite possible that you have already deployed some of these items before reading this. If this is the case, and you have activated the machine called the "cruxtruder" such that it displays a countdown, YOU MUST PROCEED TO SECTION [A100] OF THIS WALKTHROUGH IMMEDIATELY. The life of the client user depends on it, and if your co-player has activated this device in your environment too, then yours does as well.

3. But if not, please refrain from doing anything with the cruxtruder, aside from merely deploying it. This will buy us some time to think things through properly, and to go over the basics of the game before you find your soft, easily-punctured head in the jaws of the lion.

Part 2 of simple tips coming soon!

Hey guys! :) I just want you all to remember that SOCIAL DISTANCING is IMPORTANT in order to minimize the contraction of COVID-19. :) So make sure to STAY in your HOMES. :) Even if you are at a YOUNG AGE and have NO PRIOR HEALTH ISSUES, it’s still important to be MINDFUL of those who are of OLDER AGE and have HEALTH ISSUES that could potentially INTERFERE with their RECOVERY if they contract the CORONAVIRUS. :) So as a SERVICE to your COMMUNITY, it’s important to remain ENCLOSED in your HOME. :) STUCK, if you will. :) Now go do something FUN from the CONFINES of your HOUSE. :) Perhaps play some VIDEO GAMES with your ONLINE FRIENDS? :) :) :)

i’m bringing this back because i don’t think enough of you were forced to look at this

Jesus Christ you tumblr users will start screaming over the smallest things. Distance, dickheads. Don’t be selfish.

oh you sweet summer child, that is not why they’re mad