Racing Turtles

polyamory and bisexuality could have saved camelot

this was about king arthur & queen guinevere & lancelot in, like, le mort d'arthur I guess but people saying bbc arthur & gwen & merlin: yeah sure. them too.

Ok: what REALLY makes this funny is that, in the retellings of this story that I've read, Arthur doesn't even CARE about the infidelity, he's totally cool with his wife banging Lancelot, but Mordred's raising such a stink over it AND Arthur's whole "the law applies to EVERYONE No Exceptions!" reforms that he's bscl bullied into it. So who's to say they WEREN'T secretly a throuple already??

everyone keeps warning lancelot about the sword bridge. for 80 pages everyone he meets tells him hey lancelot look out, you’re going to have to cross the sword bridge. and it’s like oh, what’s this gonna be? what’s he going to have to face when he gets to the sword bridge? what’s the challenge? and he gets there and it’s just a really long sword. serving as a bridge.

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people will genuinely try to describe lancelot as swashbuckling and charming and a flirt and it’s like….no that’s gawain, gawain will fuck your wife and then help you, an errant knight, try to track down sir gawain because he fucked your wife and you want to duel him and after like two weeks he’ll smugly tell you that well actually, i am he, sir gawain but it doesn’t matter because you’re now in love with him too. but also gawain is insane and nothing makes him happier than killing and also flirting with anyone who crosses his path. gawain’s REAL good at killing and he doesn’t care about morality or right or wrong and can we just fight already? lancelot cries if you look at him wrong and is allergic to every other human emotion and has a moral dilemma every other week and feels bad about how good he is at killing but he’s REALLY good at killing but also he just wants to go and visit his mom, okay?

i really really adored that jadzia went all in for lenara in "rejoined." that she said to sisko 'i know and believe that the symbiont life is precious and should go on' and then said 'but i love her.' it's sir lancelot of her. so desperate and perfect. and also she's still acting in a way that upholds the life of the symbiont. it's not jadzia's love as jadzia alone that she chose to sink into. it's a combination of things that begin with dax. torias, who was who he was bc of dax and the other past-lives. now jadzia, who is who she is bc of them all. it's a multi-being, multi-person Romantic romance and she stood on the balcony and waited to see it end bc that's what romantic heroes do, actively swallowing their heartbreak and letting it end out of deep respect and also for the poetry of it, and. because it was the lark, herald of the morn, not the nightingale.

gettinge forciblye ouſted from mine medæval booke clubbe after we reade le morte darþur and i ſay þat ſir lancelot did noþing wronge

Lancelot faces up to the mortifying ordeal...