Racing Turtles

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered

I love that the nola problem here is not “ghosts in my taxi cab,” but “ghosts are FUCKING BROKE DEAD BASTARDS & I GOT BILLS”

Horror is when ghosts get into cabs and scare drivers Magical realism is when cab companies have to develop policies to prevent ghastly fare-theft

In a book about the tsunami in Japan in 2011, the writer talked about how there was a huge increase in reports of ghostly activity. Apparently in Japan treating ghosts rudely is basically considered the stupidest thing you could possibly do. For months after the tsunami, taxi drivers would pick up a passenger only to have them give an address in one of the devastated areas. The cab driver often looked up halfway to the destination to find their fare had disappeared. Not wanting to be impolite to the person (even if they were dead) they’d drive to the address, open the door to let them out, then drive away.

^That is the most Japanese thing I’ve ever heard

this rules

My psychiatrist, a relatively-well-known expert in his field: Here’s the thing about doctors: you can’t trust us. You should never trust doctors, because we do not know what we’re doing. Some of us THINK we -

Me: I mean, some of you - I feel like you pay attention to -

Him: No!!! I don’t know what I’m doing, no doctor ever does! It’s part of the job, it’s - just, do your own research, go on PubMed and stuff, tell me if you think I’m wrong, get a second and third and fourth opinion if you think I’m - it’s just, medicine is a bad field! It’s so unscientific and we’re not held to any real kind of STANDARD and we’re just so SMUG - just, don’t trust us! NEVER TRUST DOCTORS.

Me: Okay, so, I swear you this solemn oath: I will look up every medical thing I am ever subjected to on PubMed.

Him, now feeling uncertain of himself again: …except, of course, don’t spend TOO much time on there, don’t tired yourself out - because, you know, we don’t need you getting all hypochondriac and anxious about - everything. And look at the - methodology and everything, obviously, you have to keep in mind that most research is also bad, it’s just - doctors! WE don’t have ANY standards, so -

Me: Yeah, I know, I know, you gotta strike a reasonable uh - paranoia balance?, or, uh -

Him: Yes, right. It’s important to have a REASONABLE LEVEL of paranoia.

I’m lovin it.

come THROUGH grandma

Your grandma is awesome <3