Racing Turtles

“Thou fool. No living man may hinder me! ” ⚔️

Bilbo, at the council of Elrond, gesturing to Aragorn: This is the rightful King of Gondor!

Boromir, canonically:

Aragorn arrives in Minas Tirith and every Gondorian Mother light speed shifts from reverence to ‘is anyone gonna feed that?’ and none of them wait for an answer

Arwen: Oh, woe am I, for perhaps tis true that an elf is too lofty a being to be wholly welcomed and loved amongst the kingdoms of men.

Eowyn: Huh?

Arwen: I have sensed disapproving eyes follow me, no matter where I might tread, and Ladies of the court are oft indisposed for my company.

Eowyn: Oh- No-..

Arwen: Do they stir envy in their hearts for my fortune? Do they resent my stealing Elessar away from some worthy southern maiden?

Eowyn: No it’s-

Arwen: Pray! Do not spare my feelings, my dear friend!

Eowyn: They-… they just think you aren’t feeding him enough.

Arwen: …

Arwen: EOWYN HE JUST DOESN’T GET ANY BIGGER.

older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:

éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.

therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:

there’s a thundering sound in the distance as the rohirrim ride into war but rather than hoofbeats it’s the collective sound of all their cheeks clapping

the artist for this particular piece is Frank Frazetta and to be fair to him this is how he drew the orcs armor 

so the rohirrim comment is probably not that far off

A very merry christmas to @agardenintheshire! Wishing you happiness as great as Eowyn’s gigantic sword in the years to come! :D 

Eo-WIN

Source: The Lord of the Rings Song: Woman King by Iron & Wine Summary: Arwen, Eowyn, Galadriel; “your bones will blossom into stars. your blood is wine and you are clothed in light” - Natasza Stark

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