Racing Turtles

Gotta be some advertising jingle. I vote for Meow Mix. You know, that one that's just "meow meow meow meow" for its lyrics.

these are great options but i suggest that since andalites have four hooves and a bullwhip tail with a blade on the end, their music is almost entirely percussive, with maybe an option for nose flutes and maybe a bow drawn over the dull side of the tailblade. bells might also be an option, and bull-roarers, though i think ‘swinging a weighted cord over your head’ would be hard for a species with eyestalks and delicate arms. kalimbas, perhaps?

i would expect the most traditional performance of andalite music to be a group of andalites running and dancing together over cleared ground, while kicking and striking percussive objects to the natural beat of their hooves, and operating woodwinds or other hand instruments as a counterpoint. modern andalites might also have ‘tap’ shoes to alter or amplify the sound of a hoofbeat.

anyway i think ax might like Blue Man Group, if he didn’t find them insanely creepy. i think generally if your music is mostly based off complex percussion performed at a gallop, 1990′s american pop, rock, and grunge are all going to be really underwhelming.

i have completely forgotten if this was canonical or not but i am of the firm opinion that yeerks and yoorts share a common spacefaring ancestor, and yeerks are descended from the guys that found a significantly less hospitable planet than the yoorts' ancestors did.

it's entirely possible that the gedd didn't evolve on that planet either, but were the spacefaring yeerk-ancestor's domesticated partner species, like dogs are to humans, only even more so. they're not particularly intelligent because they didn't have to be, the yeerk-ancestors ran everything, but they're not mindlessly stupid either because you don't really want to take brainless panicky livestock on an interstellar colonization trip. gedd are fully capable of fending for themselves even without yeerk management.

also, yeerks definitely enjoy having *willing partners*, rather than miserable slaves or animals. they definitely benefit from perceiving the universe alongside another self-aware mind. and the yoort love trading memories and experiences. there's arguably a species-specific drive for yeerks to seek out and connect with other people.

anyway i just think it's all very neat

like ACTUALLY tho

*SLAMS DOWN BINDER FULL OF CRAZY FANGIRL NOTES* 

ANDALITES HAVE BIG ROUND STOMACHS NOT BECAUSE THEY HAVE RUMINANT-LIKE STOMACHS BUT BECAUSE THEY’RE ACTUALLY POWERED BY FERMENTATION. THEY’RE CHOCK FULL OF SOME KIND OF YEAST ANALOGUE THAT FERMENTS THE SUGARS, STARCHES, AND WATER FROM CRUSHED PLANTS  INTO WOOD AND GRAIN ALCOHOLS, WHICH ARE VOLATILE AND HIGH-ENERGY AND WHICH THE ANDALITE’S BODY CAN USE AS CALORIES. 

THIS WAY ANDALITES JUST NEED TO MAINTAIN THE BALANCE OF THEIR BIG TANK OF BACTERIA WITH SMALL AMOUNTS OF STARCH AND SUGAR AND LARGE AMOUNTS OF WATER. RATHER THAN EATING HUGE AMOUNTS OF PLANTS WHOLE LIKE EARTH HERBIVORES AND THEN SHITTING MOST OF THE NUTRITIONALLY INACCESSIBLE PLANT RIGHT BACK OUT AGAIN, THE ANDALITES DON’T EVEN BOTHER TO TAKE IN CELLULOSE OR LIGNIN AT ALL.

ALSO CONSIDERING THE LARGE, SPRINGY TAIL, THEY PROBABLY HAVE A VERY BALANCED AND ENERGY EFFICIENT RUN; INSTEAD OF HAVING TO CHEW PLANTS THEY CAN JUST PASSIVELY COLLECT NUTRIENTS AS GRAVITY DOES THEIR CHEWING FOR THEM. 

THE BACTERIA TANK THEORY ALSO EXPLAINS WHY THE HUMAN ANIMORPHS DON’T GET REALLY SICK FROM ACCIDENTALLY MORPHING THEIR GUT FLORA AWAY AT AGE THIRTEEN; THE MORPHING TECHNOLOGY SPECIFICALLY KEEPS GUT FLORA IN PLACE BECAUSE IT’S SUCH A VITAL COMPONENT OF ANDALITE DIGESTION.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

one thing i’d love to see addressed in post-war fics is human environmentalists vs arrogant andalite nature artists. like here’s andalites, deadass convinced they’re the most naturey possible motherfuckers, super in tune with the planet, with grass and water, the planet, whatever. and here’s human environmentalists who are used to ecosystems that contain thousands of different species per square mile. hundreds of thousands! 

i don’t think you need a phd to look at the andalite homeworld, do some rough calculation on how long the andalites have been cultivating their world, and come up with the result that modern andalites are kind of puttering about in the overgardened ruins of what was once a much more healthy and diverse planetary ecosystem. the andalite homeworld is like if you crossed the gardens of versailles with coruscant. they have maybe a dozen species of animals left. they definitely only have helpful, beautiful, or edible plants left. 90% of the planet is rolling grassy plains.

anyway just imagine some smug andalite trying to show off their favorite chunk of the continent, like ‘behold the superior andalite connection with nature!’ and some baffled and kind of horrified pack of biologists looking around like jesus christ is this all the same kind of grass.