Racing Turtles

working draft

note: if you gender these terms I may ask you to leave

This would be nearly perfect if the authleft bit wasn't so weak and esoteric compared to the other three. Tankies really dragging everyone down smh

The mindvirus is outta getcha!

on the one hand, funny, on the other hand, terrifying how many of these i have actually encountered.

theyre in a polycule

reminded me of soil composition chart

a handy pocket guide to all things

I've heard so many different ways to pronounce Ianthe's name I had to make this.

this came to me in a dream

ok so hear me out

Hmm. 😏

alignment chart

If you ask @dxmedstudent and me, there’s something definitely evil about the inferior third of the abdomen.

Appendicitis is definitely in the category lawful evil. Painful but at least you don’t have to do a CT scan to figure out what’s wrong

While on the other hand sigmoid/rectal ca definitely fall under the chaotic evil category, especially when they cause 2° caecal perforation…

Am I doing this right?

I’M SCREAMING WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE

i propose that “himbo” and “bimbo” are not true opposites and exist more on a four part axis and the missing other two are “herbo” (a big dumb sexy strong woman) and “himbim” (a skinny stupid pretty boy)

Finally someone fixed my problem.

john mulaney is smack dab in the middle.

truly cannot stop thinking about this

for further consideration

largely correct, with a few minor corrections and additions. 

I disagreed that there was a spectrum. Instead, behold the scatterplot of Johns. 

this is incredible work and an amazing contribution to the field but i would argue it is a different idea of john categorization entirely – the spectrum is not “place johns on a spectrum between nerd and badass,” it is: place johns on the spectrum between green and wick. you cannot replace green and wick with adjectives because they ARE the adjectives. it is an intangible categorization, one which i understand may be frustrating to those with more organized minds.

nevertheless, while this approach to the taxonomic classifications of Johns differs significantly from mine, there is enough space in our field of study for both. i look forward to seeing you at the next conference and hearing more about your research.

Just some astounding work here. The field has been rather staid over the last 70 years, What with the seemingly unassailable dominance of the post-war Liberal Consensus on Johns, but this is really breaking exciting new ground in Johnology. Simply cannot Wait to see the full studies behind these abstracts published!

this post was written by a jrpg villain whose origin story was working at walmart

the only problem I can see with this post is that they assume everyone is able-bodied.

I feel like there needs to be an author alignment chart

Chaotic Evil is writing on your phone in the dark with no glasses on (me)

new alignment chart

some thoughts

This is so simple and so fantabulous