#incorrect sanji – @zashiyumada on Tumblr

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Sanji: You’re fucking stupid.

Zoro: That’s it?

Sanji, smirking: Give it a while. It’ll eat at you.

[later]

Zoro: Am I stupid?

Nami: Yup.

Zoro: Fuck that shit-cook!

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Sanji: I hate you!

Luffy: Nuh uh! This picture I drew of us holding hands proves you don’t!

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Zoro, wearing only boxers: G’morning, how’d you sleep?

Sanji, overwhelmed and unable to decide between good and okay: Gay.

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Sanji: This is a list of places the Marimo could’ve wondered off to

Nami:

Nami: Sanji, that’s a globe.

Sanji: Yeah… we have no fucking clue where he went.

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Nami: Exactly how dumb does Sanji think you are?

Zoro: Sometimes he leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.

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Sanji: I left instructions for everyone while I’m gone.

Zoro: Mine just says “Zoro, no.”

Sanji: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

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Sanji, watching Zoro sleep: He’s my life, my love, my everything. He looks so peaceful sleeping. I love him so much.

Zoro: *snores*

Sanji: I can’t fucking live like this!

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Sanji: Wait… are you flirting with me?

Zoro: I have been the whole time but thanks for noticing.

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Zoro: This date is boring.

Sanji: This isn’t a fucking date, shithead. I told you I was going to the store!

Zoro: Then why the hell did you invite me?

Sanji: I didn’t, moss for brains! I specifically told you “don’t come with me” and you said “don’t tell me what to do, shit-cook” and then you followed me here, idiot!

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Sanji: Marimo and I are so close we finish each other’s-

Zoro: Sentences.

Sanji: DON’T FUCKING INTERRUPT ME, SHITTY SWORDSMAN-

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Sanji: Now that we’re in a relationship, your clothes are my clothes.

Sanji: So don’t ask why I’m wearing your shirt.

Sanji: It’s our shirt.

Zoro: Fine but when I come in here with your fluffy socks on, I don’t wanna hear shit.

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Nami: Who’s turn is it to give the pep talk?

Sanji, sighing: Marimo’s...

Zoro: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die.

Usopp, wiping away a tear: Inspirational.

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Sanji, throwing his head into Zoro’s lap: Tell me I’m pretty!

Zoro; stroking his hair lovingly: You’re pretty fucking annoying, that’s what you are.

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Nami: We need to get through this locked door. Zoro, give me your card.

Zoro: Here

Nami, pocketing it: Thanks. Sanji, kick down the door.

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Chopper: Quick! You’re losing a lot of blood, what’s your type?!?!

Zoro, delirious from blood loss: A cook, pale skin, blonde hair, swirly eyebrows, and blue eyes~

Chopper: I meant your blood type.

Zoro: Oh. Red.

Chopper:

Sanji, shaking and crying:

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Nami: Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t have feelings for Zoro.

Sanji, staring lovingly at Zoro from across the room: I don’t have feelings for the shitty swordsman.

Nami: Firts of all, your eyes are nowhere near mine-

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Sanji: Is something burning???

Zoro, leaning against the counter: Just my desire for you.

Sanji: mY FUCKING TOASTER IS ON FIRE!