Well hi

the reason you're meant to read from a bunch of different sources and attempt to interpret and discuss them in school btw is bc your reading comprehension is based on your ability to discern different and varied meanings in a text

like some ppl on socmed wilfully misinterpret text and so many others entirely lack this critical skill and rely on tiktokers and youtubers to explain sentences to them and in the absence of someone to explain they just entirely go off their own projected vibes and make shit up

like it's. honestly frightening and bizarre, the takes i regularly see, that are so far beyond a "bad faith reading" and are literally not a reading. someone just saw three words they recognised, imagined a scenario they might be used in instead of reading the post, then got MAD

i think everyone needs to adopt "i didnt say it was good, i said i liked it" into their vocabulary right now. it did me wonders

[id: a screenshot of a tiktok. the tiktoker is doing a kubrick stare at the camera. text superimposed over their face reads: "the pursuit of physical attractiveness being rebranded as "self care" has set feminism back like 30 years. doing your makeup is not self care. getting plastic surgery is not self care. the companies and influencers pushing this narrative have a financial incentive to do so. you can care for yourself in ways that don't revolve around "fixing" your appearance"]

intimacy is not just experienced through sex. it's crying together. it's whispering late at night. it's talking about growing up and what used to scare you. it's going places that remind you of your childhood. it's feeling each other without touching. it's exchanging energy.

I think somewhere people got confused and now think that "privileged" equals "oppressor" and "having privilege" equals "has the power to oppress".

It doesn't.

Would love to hear more about this, because I understand the first part, that privileged doesn’t automatically equal oppressor, but I don’t think I know enough to understand how having privilege doesn’t equal having the power to oppress.

Having privilege does not automatically grant you power.

I have working legs. This does not mean I am systemically oppressing people who need mobility aids, and it doesn't mean I have the power to do it, either. If I got elected to government and passed legislation that removed elevators and ramps on the basis of "Well I don't need them", then I'd be systemically oppressing people based on walking privilege.

It's exactly what I was saying on the other post; existing doesn't mean oppression.

You do not have mobility problems with your legs at the time of this posting. I do, but I can still walk with relatively little assistance as long as my pain is low and the terrain is not actively working against me. That doesn't mean the stairs in your house or apartment are oppressing me, or that your ability to climb them with no negative effects is oppressing me. You have the privilege of not needing to worry if you can actually make that climb and thus more avenues are open to you- you don't have to worry about the expense of buying a house with no stairs, you don't secondguess if you can actually take the flight, entire venues and employment/schooling oppurtunies and city streets and businesses aren't completely inaccessible to you because they exist on the third floor with no fucking elevator, you don't suffer sleepless at night when you were forced to take stairs you shouldn't have climbed. But unless *you*, specifically YOU, designed these stairways in these places with no other way to access the upper floors... it's not like you not needing to worry about that is directly oppressing me.

You CAN contribute to it- "why should stairs need to be accessible" "who even needs ramps and elevators" "I mean if you can walk you should be able to take a couple steps" "why do I need to make room for you on the elevator or wait for you to catch up" and my favorite "wow the world's youngest senior citizen" usually said when walking with my cane. But until that line is crossed, you existing as someone who can walk without pain unassisted is not directly oppressing me.

And that's the thing. Actions are oppression. Existing as someone with privilege does not mean you automatically oppress people.

"Having privilege" is morally neutral. Society is what bestows you privilege. That is completely out of your control.

"Oppression" is morally repugnant. Actions that contribute to the harm of others are terrible and bad and you should not do them.

Too many people conflate the two.

I think we should have a turn of phrase for "I'm not in the right, but I AM annoyed with this situation, so I just need to go bitch to a friend about this before I suck it up and go do the right thing" because more and more I'm finding this is a critical element of functional adulthood.

what i tend to say is “okay, i’m saying this here/to you, so i don’t say it there/to them.” and by god, so much drama evaporates.

and it works whether you’re in the right or not. it works amazingly well when you were right, but it would be unkind/unproductive to say “i told you so.”

“mom, i’m telling you, so that i don’t tell her ‘i fucking told you so.’ but like. i very much told her not to call her ex, and now she’s crying in the group chat.”

Hey.

I'm serious when I say I think the sentiment that kindness requires "zero effort" is harmful.

The idea that kind is a thing you can be innately, without having to think or feel anything about it, leaves a gap in the fence where the other idea "if I have unkind thoughts or feelings, I am by nature a bad, unkind person" can slip through.

Listen. That's bullshit.

Being kind to other people means paying attention to the effect your words and actions have on others, caring about it, and trying to make those effects better. That's work.

If you have a nasty thought about another person that annoys you and you contain the impulse, hold your tongue, and let it go? That was effort.

If you took time out to really think about something you wanted to say and make sure it would have its intended result without causing accidental harm that you wouldn't have noticed if you went totally off the cuff? Wow, that took some work!

If you were tired and angry and full of hatred but you still did the dishes so your housemate has something to eat their breakfast off of in the morning, that wasn't easy.

I don't think there are magical "kind" people who never have a mean thought and are always selfless and pure. That would be exhausting and impossible.

I'm not a "nice person," I'm a nasty, bitter, angry, sad person who tries to have good leash manners, control my worst impulses, and not jump on strangers because they don't deserve that shit from me.

I don't always succeed, but I'm trying. I'm trying and it's worth it.

this isn't gonna win me any friends but I won't pay a dime to see movies made by/starring people who signed the petition to free convicted child rapist roman polanski, and that includes guillermo del toro and wes anderson. you can love their movies all you want but paying to see them puts money in the pocket of people who publicly support rapists going free. 🤷🏾‍♀️

it's looking like this is new info for some of y'all, so imma go ahead and link the full list of people who signed the petition, and I wanna put the hollywood celebrity signers below:

The curse of modern fandom is that it has allowed fans to get even closer to artists, but they won't view the artists as people.

Human limits, human mistakes, human feelings, human needs, are never ascribed to artists, and when other fans rightfully point out, "hey, humans are making this, maybe don't harass them or demand they cater to your personal tastes," it gets shut down under, "uh, people who make popular mainstream things are automatically Public Figures who are also probably rich, so eat the rich and destroy artists over every perceived minor fault. <3"

Even though there's, y'know, a really big strike currently going on because those artists are very much not rich or influential or in control of the bullshit.

The more friends I make in the various facets of the entertainment industry, and the more widely my own art gets shared, the more I realize that a lot of y'all genuinely don't see artists as human beings if they meet some arbitrary standard of Being Known Online.

There is no amount of online fame that makes someone subhuman and a valid target for blatant disrespect and harassment.

Contrary to popular belief, you do not actually own and control a piece of art just because you like it a lot. The artists are not subject to your personal whims and tastes. They owe you nothing.

^^^^

reblogging SPECIFICALLY for the End Note which is widely applicable

For any trans (or really any queer) kids who are struggling through this right now, I want you to know

This is not your fault,

you are not wrong,

it wouldn’t be fixed if you were just somehow a different person

Because this guy is right, love is unconditional and this type of parent only loves you on the condition that you are exactly what they want you to be

Not to sound like a 90s shallow prep, but how you dress can affect your self esteem, and putting energy into wearing things you actively like and projecting an ideal of yourself through fashion instead of seeing clothes as things you have to put on out of obligation helps.

It also can give you a sense of control over your appearance that you otherwise wouldn’t have lmao

I bought a cape because of this

this post is written in a humorous tone but this is the realest shit.

two years ago i wore baggy sweatpants and flip flops every day because i was depressed but then decided eh to hell with it and bought some black edgy emo clothes bc thats how i always wanted to dress but never got a chance to and it was only then that i realized that the sweatpants flip flops look was just keeping me in my depression funk. i didnt like the way i looked and i didnt identify with the clothes i was wearing and it only made me feel worse.

i then went through my entire wardrobe and got rid of everything that made me feel that way.

now i have multiple outfit possibilities requiring different levels of effort but on days where putting on clothes just seems like a project i just have to put on black jeans and a band t-shirt and i can still feel good about the way i look which is a really good way to start off my day.

i can not recommend this approach to clothing enough.

Can I just say this is the healthiest mindset related post I have seen on this sight and I want every single person on here to read this

Also let me just say because I’ve encountered it a lot—people who try to sneakily put you down by implying that you’re overdressed/a “try-hard”/somehow insecure because you put effort into what you wear could probably stand to try a little harder at finding small things they can do for themselves, like getting dressed each morning, that spark joy… because that’s a pretty freaking joyless takeaway from seeing someone in a cool outfit.

Btw much as I love to make fun of twitter and reddit's business decisions, I have 0% trust in tumblr's management to not go a similar route so this is your gentle reminder that you should regularly go to your blog settings to export your blog. That's a fancy way of saying you can download a backup of your blog so if everything goes down you'll still have a backup of your posts & convos.

It's gonna come as a surprise to most of you, but if you don't want to do that for whatever reason you're allowed to not reblog this post. I'm not holding a gun to your head here I'm just trying to spread the word for people who do want a backup of their stuff.

Also, made this guide for backup Tumblr blogs (ft. export blog method, and python 3 script method):

What the fuck is this??????????

Folks: you CANNOT censor trigger tags. When you block a tag, it doesn't block other "spellings" of it. Writing it as "r@pe" or "r4p3" means that someone who has "tw rape" as a blocked tag will still see that post because you didn't wanna say the word rape. You are hurting people. Do not censor words, because people do not have those filtered out.

And honestly if you can't even write the word rape to protect other people then you probably aren't old/mature enough to be on this website.

I've hated that "un-alive" filtering since it started. Because my pretentious ass read 1984 and Brave New World when I was 16. Words like "suicide", "rape", "death", etc, these shouldn't be censored. These are words that describe actions and states of being. They're fucking unpleasant words, but you know, life is sometimes fucking unpleasant. Hiding the word doesn't magically make the bad thing go away. It makes you afraid to talk about it. It makes it a forbidden subject. It locks people who need to talk about it in a closet, like a fucking wife who has an opinion in 1925.

Stop it. Use the correct word.

just discoverd i can block people i find annoying

when u get out of the mindest blocking is only saved for “Bad People” and you can block perfectly fine ppl you just know theyre a little annoying to you, your experience enhances

so fucking true. hitting that block button on people who annoy me like a medieval king ordering his guards to slay the jester for being unfunny