sick! of not living in a cottage with the love of my life and our several large dogs!

Well, McCain has discontinued treatment, so brace yourselves. Over the next 48 hours, Republicans are going to act like Gandhi died, one of the 2020 hopefuls will tweet the condolences a normal human being says when a colleague dies, Bernie will put out one too but the left will only lose its shit over a woman doing it, some conservative goblin will find a nobody on twitter who was celebrating, Meghan McCain will write 3,000 words in The Federalist about how liberals showed their true colors, he’ll be replaced by someone with a history of white supremacist ties and/or a dozen corruption allegations, life will go on by the next day.

this is the purest video you will see all day, it includes not only practical advice on how to make cats feel comfortable but also:

please watch this immediately

I’m so confused

Pre Serum Steve Rogers exists and I can prove (his Instagram is isroundman)

I’m not okay

Ranveer Singh & Jim Sarbh | Padmaavat     ↳ Sultan Alauddin Khilji & Malik Kafur.

…hey Harry Potter fans, we’re all in agreement that Dumbledore brought the Philosopher’s Stone to Hogwarts in Harry’s first year as a test to see whether Voldemort was paying attention and what sort of state he was in, now that Dumbledore’s chosen champion was old enough to hold a wand, right?

Like, Harry learns what magic is and it’s time to start moving towards the full and final destruction of Tom Riddle Junior, so Dumbledore has a chat with his long-time alchemy friend who’s been keeping this thing safe for literally six centuries straight, and ‘borrows’ the easiest source of immortality he can find as bait for a trap to lure Voldemort out into the open so Dumbledore can get the lay of the land to prep for the next seven years.  This is canon, right?

HOLY SHIT

happy halloween! here is a ghost duet

I love this so much. I always play it when it comes on

how cute

that post going around about “ofc” is distressing me and like 60 million other people so just know that when i say “ofc” i always just mean “of course” and never “of fucking course”

Not that I expect Tumblr to be the kind of place where John McCain’s death to be met with the rending of sackcloth and the gnashing of teeth. But this is a good summation of how i’m feeling right now.

Compare

My name is Lisa.

I’m five foot nine. My hair is long and it’s dark brown. I wear leather a great deal, high boots always, and sometimes glove-soft vests and even leather skirts now and then, and I wear lace, especially when I can find the kind I like: intricate, very old-fashioned lace, snow white. I have light skin that tans easily, large breasts, and long legs. And though I don’t feel beautiful and never have, I know that I am. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be a trainer at The Club.

–Exit to Eden by Anne Rice (aka Rampling), 1985

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

–My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie, 2006

#g o d#that can’t be a real Anne rice quote

*”Rampling” was Rice’s pseudonym while she was writing erotica, mainly for this and the Sleeping Beauty quartet

i mean ….

lestat is on the my immortal train too lol

Anne Rice hates fanfiction! My Immortal is a satire of fanfiction about the fiction from an author who hates fanfiction. This makes everything even better.

@imperfectkreis

This is just more evidence that you could teach a full semester course on My Immortal.

Add this to the ‘My Immortal was a troll all along’ evidence pile

I am absurdly, pettily happy that it’s Anne Rice getting slammed with the My Immortal comparisons.

(Is it me or does “My Immortal” sound very like the sort of title an Anne Rice book would have?)

Have we considered the possibility that Anne Rice actually wrote My Immortal?

:: squints ::

Y’know, the theory of Anne Rice having written My Immortal is nowhere NEAR as cracky as her last book was …

I didn’t know what the hell “My Immortal” was referring to for a long time and I just ASSUMED it was an Anne Rice novel by all the quotes I saw. 

Anne Rice being the secret author of My Immortal is actually… not a bad theory? I mean, we know she HATES fanfiction, but also seeks it out (at least well enough to sue them) so she has some knowledge of fandom and probably of some of the styles/themes of the time. I could totally see her writing My Immortal in the dead of night, trying to wrap up every single thing she hates about fanfiction in one terribly-written package.

And she would never own up to it. EVER.

this has got to be THE funniest sentence ive seen all day im gonna cry

why do people try to pit star wars and star trek against each other when we all know damn well jim kirk would be all over that psychic twink with a laser sword

OP you are so wise

The meeting of James. T. Kirk and Obi-Wan “Always Fucking Flirting” Kenobi would be AMAZING.

@shoujocowboy

this is EXACTLY the wars v. trek discourse i wanted on my dashboard

I was thinking Kirk and Luke, but of course Kirk is in the prequel era and then Luke’s time is TNG.

Riker would be all  over that psychic twink with a laser sword

Ah yes, the three genders: Girl, Boy, and Mischief

This couldn’t be a more obvious portent if it fell from the sky on a clear day.