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#mommy janeway – @yousayperfect-isaystreep on Tumblr
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you think we wake up with stepped up pussies?

@yousayperfect-isaystreep / yousayperfect-isaystreep.tumblr.com

V. she/her. 35. Bi. Feminist. Restaholic. Tagnovelist. Jinkx and DeLa apologist 💅🏼
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headcanon time

Okay, so @supernovacoffee and I were discussing Janeway’s super corny one-liners, like “Out-Ferengi the Ferengi” or “Who’s hunting the hunters?” and we kinda agreed on a new headcanon:

Janeway makes these really bad puns, thinking they are so funny/badass/clever in an attempt to get closer to the crew. But they are just so bad, and no one dares to tell her (which @supernovacoffee pointed out is super sad.) Until some day, Chuckles loses it and starts laughing (he’s allowed to, they are finally banging), “Really Kathryn?” and says one back to her and she realizes that last one was really cringeworthy.

But the crew loves her for the bad “Dad joke” vibey puns, because their space mom is just a giant space dork and they would totally miss her crooked sense of humour (and they do when she stops with the puns for a while because she’s embarrassed. But with crew morale low someone finally musters the courage to make a really bad pun when she’s there, so she picks her habit back up.)

And sometimes she makes these science puns that no one really gets (except for Tuvok, who doesn’t find them funny at all, and Harry, but he’s usually to busy blushing), and sometimes B’Elanna overhears one and tries really hard not to giggle. But when their eyes meet they grin like idiots and those are just really sweet girl bonding moments.

And sometimes Kathryn will search the room after she made another bad pun just to see if B’Elanna is there and heard it. And if B’E isn’t there, she’ll make a mental note to tell the joke again when B’E is coincidentally present…

this is all perfection, the only thing I thought to add is imagine her inside being like:

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Alice

tom: mom can i have a new toy
janeway: no
tom: awwwwww but mom it's a 2327 vintage shuttle craft i can restore to prime
janeway: ugh ask your father
tom: dad can i
chakotay: i guess if you pay for it out of your allowance and don't let it interfere with your duties
tom: omg thanks dad you're the best!!!!!11!
[...]
janeway: tom has missed two shifts in sickbay
chakotay: i know
janeway: oh "you know"
chakotay: what is that supposed to mean
janeway: well who let him have that damn shuttle in the first place
chakotay: he promised me he'd act responsibly
janeway: now he's dressing like one those disreputable boys from krasus prime with that parachute material onsie and unkempt facial hair
chakotay: kathryn he's just going through a phase
tom: mom dad can you loan me 500 rations so i can replicate more supplies for alice
janeway: who's alice, is she a part of some new shuttle racing gang you're with
tom: mom you wouldn't understand
chakotay: tom you promised us you wouldn't neglect your duties
tom: omg dad you always take her side!!!!11!
chakotay: young man i've had enough of this shuttle business you get no more supplies now go to your quarters and write an apology letter to the doctor
tom: BUT DAD
chakotay: don't make your mother put you in the brig
b'elanna: you should, he's stealing power cells from engineering
janeway: oh my god now he's a thief stealing from HIS WIFE
janeway: do you see what your son has done
chakotay: my son
chakotay: why is he always my son when he causes a shipwide crisis
janeway: if you weren't so damn permissive none of this would have happened
janeway: "but kathryn, tom is a free spirit that needs to be nurtured" you said
janeway: and where did that get us chakotay, WHERE DID IT GET US
tom: BUT MOM
chakotay: look now you've gone and upset your mother
janeway: come on b'elanna you and i are going to spend the weekend on the holodeck away from these two CHILDREN
b'elanna: ok
chakotay: but kathryn
janeway: save it
chakotay:
tom:
chakotay:
tom: parents just don't understand
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