Tips for Including Imagery

Hey everyone, Abby here! Today I want to talk about imagery and descriptions, and how to include them effectively in your writing.

What is imagery?

For the purpose of this post, imagery is defined as “[the use of] figurative language to represent objects, actions, and ideas in such a way that it appeals to our physical senses”. Put simpler, imagery is just a form of writing that helps the reader create vivid mental images of what’s going on.

Why is imagery important?

Do you remember in second and third grade, when your teacher would always ask you if the characters in your story were floating around in space? That’s why imagery is important. Your reader may not be that young, but having (even a vague) idea of where your characters are is better than nothing.

Neglecting imagery in your writing can sometimes make your readers think that a) you don’t care about this place or person, no matter what’s happening or b) this area or this person’s appearance has no relevance to the story at all. Let’s de-bunk these two.

You don’t care about this place or person, no matter what’s happening. This can often come of as unprofessional on your part. If you don’t care about the subject in question, why include it at all? You should probably try to include at least a phrase of description for everything you introduce.

This area or person’s appearance has no relevance to the story at all. Someone is going to find it relevant; many, many readers like to have a base for creating a mental image. As one of these readers, a lack of description of any sort is something I find highly annoying. And the same point above: if it’s completely irrelevant, why include it at all?

How much imagery should I use?

In order from least to most descriptive, I’m going to give four examples of imagery that I’ve seen before using an original character. Accompanying each one will be a quick description with some tips.

This is a good method of description if you want to give a baseline introduction to a side character. It also works if you want your readers to be (vaguely) aware of a character who’s going to play a larger role in the story later, but in that case I would go a level up.

This one is probably closer to the description level you would want to use for a character who will later be important to the story. You could also use this for major characters if you need the introduction to be a quick one, but if you have the time than you should probably step it up a little bit. Using this level of description for characters who play a very minor role in the story may be superfluous, depending on how they contribute.

This is the general way I would go about introducing a main character. It’s a good way to show a bit of this character’s personality while also giving the reader a good idea of what she looks like. I personally prefer not to go much farther than this, unless there are any details that are screaming out for attention.

In all honesty, I cannot think of a regular situation in which this would be a suitable first impression. That is, unless your PoV character has a thing for recognizing every little detail or has an hour to spare to notice every single detail of this character. If you find yourself reaching this level of description, you wander into the dangerous info-dump zone.

Instead of introducing everything at once like this, try to include it all through context. Maybe at some point a wind picks up and she hugs her leather jacket tighter for warmth; that’s a lot better than just stating she’s wearing one.

Including Imagery in Your Writing

We got a little taste of the “levels” of imagery, but what else can we use hose levels for? Here’s a little set of guidelines that I like to follow in my own writing.

Level I Imagery

Use this one for:

Level II Imagery

Use this one for:

Level III Imagery

Use this one for:

You’ll notice that I didn’t include anything about new details in the third level of imagery; if a detail is important enough to warrant an entire paragraph of description, if should probably be included in the main introduction.

So, that’s all I’ve got for today! In the future I’m going to make a post about actually writing with imagery that branches off of this one. Now that I’ve talked about how to include it, I should probably give some tips for how to actually write it. (Great planning on my part.)

If there’s anything you want to see me talk about in my next post or if you have any questions about this one, please don’t hesitate to leave a message in my ask! Until next time, much love! <333

Are These Filter Words Weakening Your Story?

After putting my writing on hold for several weeks, I decided to jump back in. I expected to find all sorts of problems with my story–inconsistencies in the plot, lack of transitions, poor characterization–the works. But what began to stick out to me was something to which I’d given little thought in writing.

Filter words.

What are Filter Words?

Actually, I didn’t even know these insidious creatures had a name until I started combing the internet for info.

Filter words are those that unnecessarily filter the reader’s experience through a character’s point of view. Dark Angel’s Blog says:

In terms of example, you should watch out for:

I’m being honest when I say my manuscript is filled with these words, and the majority of them need to be edited out.

What do Filter Words Look Like?

Let’s imagine a character in your novel is walking down a street during peak hour.

You might, for example, write:

Eliminating the bolded words removes the filters that distances us, the readers, from this character’s experience:

Are Filter Words Ever Acceptable?

Of course, there are usually exceptions to every rule.

Just because filter words tend to be weak doesn’t mean they never have a place in our writing. Sometimes they are helpful and even necessary.

Susan Dennard of Let The Words Flow writes that we should use filter words when they are critical to the meaning of the sentence.

If there’s no better way to phrase something than to use a filter word, then it’s probably okay to do so.

Want to know more?

Read these other helpful articles on filter words and more great writing tips:

Words to remove from your writing

Take 

I haven’t seen any essays on this one, but I’ve just undergone a mission to remove it from my own manuscript, so I figured I’d write about it myself. 

Take is one of those words that we use so often, we forget how unnecessary it usually is. 

Compare these examples:

to these:

In each scenario, a strong verb replaces a weak one. 

In the first two examples, the true action of the sentence is disguised as a direct object. This works similarly to the way the subject is disguised as the direct object in passive voice, and shouldn’t be used for the same reasons. It’s wordier, and by assuming the roll of the verb, it takes attention away from the actual action. 

In the third example, take and grab work as synonyms, but grab is a more precise verb. Take has neutral connotations. It’s a catch-all for many actions. You can take a letter from someone’s hand gently or you can take it from their hand by snatching it away. You need context to see how the action is playing out. You need more words. By replacing “take” with “grab” in this instance, you’re saying the same and more. You don’t need more words to describe the “how” of the action, because the verb does it for you. 

Words to use instead of take: accept, remove, seize, acquire, obtain, grab, grasp, etc. 

Sometimes, when the action of is more neutral, “take” may work better. For example: if Jane takes some milk from the fridge, you don’t really need to clarify that she’s doing so roughly or gently. You don’t want to use a verb that’s stronger than the action itself. 

You’ll also notice that the first examples are wordier than the latter ones. “Take” is a vague verb. It tells the reader little about the nature of the action. In most instances, it doesn’t deserve the space on the page. 

When to use take: 

You can use take when you’re talking about a more abstract subject. You’ll notice the time I’ve used take here, I’m not talking about a physical action. I’m talking about attention, something you can’t touch or smell or taste. 

I could use a stronger verb in this scenario: “it commandeers attention from the actual action,” but that sounds silly. Flowery. Unnecessary. Here, a stronger verb doesn’t provide any more clarity. Nor does it match the more neutral tone of the sentence. Like I said, you don’t want to use a verb that’s stronger than the action itself. 

You can use it when you’re being wordier on purpose. Consider which option achieves a better effect

or

In this case, I’d personally say it was the latter option for two reasons. 

You can also, obviously, use take where it appears in common phrases: “take some time,” “take a break,” “takes after his mother,” etc.

When asking yourself if you should use the word “take,” ask the questions you should ask of every element of your writing: 

Is it clear? Is it concise? Is it adding to my story? 

Using the appropriate vocabulary in your novel

It is very important that the language in your novel reflects the time and place in which the story is set.

For example, my story is set in Italy. My characters would never “ride shotgun”, a term coined in US in the early 1900s referring to riding alongside the driver with a shotgun to gun bandits. 

Do your research! A free tool that I found to be very useful is Ngram Viewer. 

You can type any word and see when it started appearing in books. For example…one of my characters was going to say “gazillion” (I write YA) in 1994. Was “gazillion” used back then?

And the answer is…YES! It started trending in 1988 and was quite popular in 1994.

Enjoy ^_^

What You Need to Know Most About Character Voice

I’m kind of embarrassed to admit I didn’t have much of an understanding of character voice two years ago. I’m an English graduate, and none of my professors in college really talked about it. I think I remember learning the definition in high school and reading it briefly in a few writing tips.

In truth, I’ve probably heard the fact that “voice is one of the biggest draws for getting an agent or editor” more than I’ve actually heard tips on writing voice. Since then, I’ve gotten to the heart of what voice is. Or so I think. You’ll have to judge for yourself. Here’s what I found for anyone who might be struggling like I once was, or anyone who wants to learn more. The stuff in this post is what helped me bring that elusive voice into focus.

First, by definition, “voice” can refer to the writer’s style, the narrator’s style, or, your characters’ persona, thoughts, speech patterns, and word choice.

Sometimes when people think of character voice, they think of first-person narration, but really, all characters have a voice of their own, even if they aren’t telling the story. To illustrate, here are three lines from Harry, Ron, and Hermione:

If you’ve read the books, I bet you can tell who said what.

Voice is made up of two things: What the character talks (or sometimes thinks) about, and how she says it. In other words:

What the Character Talks about + How She Says it = Voice

Hermione believes in following rules and frequently tells Ron and Harry to do likewise. She’s also very logical and intelligent. In the first line above, she chooses to warn Harry, and then explains, logically, why he should heed her warning. Ron usually says those comical one-liners, and his language is usually a little coarser than the other two, so his quote is the second one. Because Harry is frequently accused of things, he often has to defend himself, “I don’t go looking for trouble.”

  What Your Character Talks About

So, What does your character choose to talk about? What does he not talk about?

In Lord of the Rings, the Hobbits often talk about food. They’re Hobbits, so they eat a lot more than the other characters and therefore food is important to their culture. Because they bring up food a lot, we know that’s what they are thinking about on their journey. They don’t casually strike up conversations about advanced battle tactics; they don’t have a war-based background. And any conversation they do have about battle tactics wouldn’t be on the same level as a warrior. So their background, culture, interests, and experience influence their voice.

If your character is a nutritionist, she might look at her lunch and talk about complex carbs, protein, calories, and vitamins. A fashionista might notice that her best friend is wearing this season’s color. A dentist might see people’s teeth first.

Remember, what your character chooses to talk about reflects what he’s thinking about. I know that sounds obvious, but have you really considered it? If your character says something, it’s also conveying to your reader what’s on his mind at that moment.

You can work that to your advantage by having your character say something surprising in a specific situation. If I have a character break up with her boyfriend, and she’s crying, and someone tries to comfort her, and she says, “It’s not Zach so much. Now I have to go to the dance looking like a complete idiot.” Not only is the response surprising—she’s not crying over the loss of Zach, but her potential embarrassment—it also reveals character—she’s more concerned with her image than the loss of her significant other.

Having that specific line stated in that situation conveys a lot about the character and her relationship with her boyfriend. It conveys what she’s thinking about most.

In Part 2 of this,  I’ll delve into how characters talk, mentioning some of the potential problems and a few minor techniques you can use for a character’s voice.

UPDATE: Read Part 2 here

Table of Contents:

Part One: Defining Differences Part Two: Hand-Picking Your Words Part Three: What’s the Author Saying? Part Four: How Pacing Impacts Tone Part Five: The Interaction of Voice with Story

(Note from Pear: This series is indefinitely open to new posts. As they are added, this post will be updated. Like always, you can find original content in the posts by pear tag and the table of contents tag for series.)

The table of contents is up-to-date! If there is anything I didn’t cover that you’d like me to add, this series–like all my series–is open to the addition of new posts. Feel free to ask me to cover something. Thanks folks! -Pear

I love Chuck. Common sense advice delivered with a heaping helping of humor.

More words of Wendig wisdom.

-Morgan

Can be worded pretty harshly and blunt. For those of you who appriciate tough love. 

10 Tips for Finding the Right Words

By Richard NordquistGrammar & Composition Expert

Source: [X]

Finding the right word–le mot juste–was a lifelong quest for French novelist Gustave Flaubert:

Whatever you want to say, there is only one word that will express it, one verb to make it move, one adjective to qualify it. You must seek that word, that verb, that adjective, and never be satisfied with approximations, never resort to tricks, even clever ones, or to verbal pirouettes to escape the difficulty.

(letter to Guy de Maupassant)

A perfectionist (who happened to have an independent income), Flaubert would spend days worrying over a single sentence until he got the words just right.

Most of us, I suspect, don’t have that kind of time available. As a result, we often have to be “satisfied with approximations” whendrafting. Near synonyms and almost-right words, like temporary bridges, let us move on to the next sentence before a deadline arrives.

Nonetheless, converting inexact words to precise ones remains a critical part ofrevising our drafts–a process that can’t be reduced to one simple method or clever trick. Here are 10 points worth considering the next time you find yourself in search of the right word.

1. Be Patient In revising, if the right word is not at hand, run a search, sort, select process through your mind to see if you can find it. (Even then, a word may be elusive, refusing to emerge from the mind one day only to arise from the subconscious the next.) … Be prepared to rewrite today what you revised yesterday. Above all, be patient: take the time to select words that will transfer your exact thought to the mind of a reader. (May Flewellen McMillan, The Shortest Way to the Essay: Rhetorical Strategies. Mercer University Press, 1984)

2. Wear Out Your Dictionary Once you have a dictionary, use it! Wear it out! … When you sit down to write and need a particular word, pause to consider the key ideas you want to convey. Start with a word that’s in the ballpark. Look it up and go from there, exploring synonyms, roots, and usagenotes. Many’s the time a usage note in theAmerican Heritage Dictionary has led me to the word that fits, much as the right jigsaw puzzle piece slips into place.(Jan Venolia, The Right Word!: How to Say What You Really Mean. Ten Speed Press, 2003)

3. Recognize Connotations Do not be fooled into thinking you can substitute one word for another simply because athesaurus groups them together under a single entry. The thesaurus will do you little good unless you are familiar with the connotations of possible synonyms for a given word. “Portly,” “chubby,” “chunky,” “heavy,” “overweight,” “stocky,” “plump,” and “obese” are all possible synonyms for “fat,” but they are not interchangeable… . Your task is to select the word that conveys most accurately the precise shade of meaning or feeling you intend. (Peter G. Beidler, Writing Matters. Coffeetown Press, 2010)

4. Put Away Your Thesaurus Using a thesaurus will not make you look smarter. It will only make you look like you are trying to look smarter. (Adrienne Dowhan et al., Essays That Will Get You Into College, 3rd ed. Barron’s, 2009)

5. Listen [B]ear in mind, when you’re choosing words and stringing them together, how they sound. This may seem absurd: readers read with their eyes. But in fact they hear what they are reading far more than you realize. Therefore such matters as rhythm andalliteration are vital to every sentence. (William Zinsser, On Writing Well, 7th ed. HarperCollins, 2006)

6. Beware of Fancy Language There is a difference between vivid language and unnecessarily fancy language. As you search for the particular, the colorful, and the unusual, be careful not to choose words merely for their sound or appearance rather than for their substance. When it comes toword choice, longer is not always better. As a rule, prefer simple, plain language over fancy language… . Avoid language that seems stilted or unnecessarily formal in favor of language that sounds natural and genuine to your ear. Trust the right word–whether fancy or plain–to do the job. (Stephen Wilbers, Keys to Great Writing. Writer’s Digest Books, 2000)

7. Delete Pet Words They may be more pests than pets. They are the words you overuse without even knowing it. My own problem words are “very,” “just,” and “that.” Delete them if they’re not essential. (John Dufresne, The Lie That Tells a Truth. W.W. Norton, 2003)

8. Eliminate the Wrong Words I do not choose the right word. I get rid of the wrong one. Period. (A.E. Housman, quoted by Robert Penn Warren in “An Interview in New Haven.” Studies in the Novel, 1970)

9. Be True “How do I know,” the sometimes despairing writer asks, “which the right word is?” The reply must be: only you can know. The right word is, simply, the wanted one; the wanted word is the one most nearly true. True to what? Your vision and your purpose. (Elizabeth Bowen, Afterthought: Pieces About Writing, 1962)

10. Enjoy [P]eople often forget that the sheer joy of finding the right word which expresses a thought is extraordinary, an emotional rush of an intense kind. (playwright Michael Mackenzie, quoted by Eric Armstrong, 1994)

Is the struggle to find the right word truly worth the effort? Mark Twain thought so. “The difference between the almost-right word & the right word is really a large matter,” he once said. “It’s the difference between the lightning-bug & the lightning.”

Character Voice Consistency

Keeping a character’s voice consistent throughout a book can be a challenge. There are a multitude of factors to maintaining a character’s voice. Keep in mind that as the character develops, the voice doesn’t change. A character’s voice at its core can best be described as a character’s personality. Here are a few factors for you to consider:

And many, many more…

Let me use my character, Amelia Gareth from When Stars Die, to give you an example of voice consistency by answering some of the points above.

So when doing a character outline for voice, keep these things in mind and anything else you can think of to keep your character’s voice consistent. Refer to this outline constantly. Step into your character’s shoes and ask, “How would she/he react? How would he/she respond to a character telling him/her something?” And so on and so forth. Also, if it has been a couple of days since you’ve last written, read the previous few pages to get back into your character’s voice. Simply put, become your character.

This is so helpful.

Passive Voice

That dreaded, awful thing. Every teacher/professor/knowledgeable person warns against the use of passive voice, but what exactly is it? Often people assume you learned about passive voice in high school grammar classes, but let’s be honest here, how many of us really remember what Mrs. Jameson in ninth grade said about the doer acting upon the subject?

Let’s have a little refresher.

Passive voice is when the subject of the sentence is being acted upon by the agent (the thing that is performing the action). The simplest way to determine passive voice is to ask yourself one question: Who/what is performing the action? You can do this with any sentence. 

Passive Voice (PV) Example: The ball was caught by the boy.

In this sentence, the boy is performing the action (catching). The ball is receiving the action (being caught).

Now let’s make that same sentence active:

Active Voice (AV) Example: The boy caught the ball.

Where it starts to get a little tricky is that the agent doesn’t always make it into the sentence. In those cases, you run into clarity issues- who or what is performing the action?

PV Example: The ball was caught.

These sentences have all been relatively simple to get the idea of passive voice across, but sentences can be much more complex in passive voice. You don’t think it’s happening, but sometimes it is.

PV Example: Brutus is often considered the tragic hero of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.

Who/what is doing the considering? We don’t know because it’s not in the sentence. Critics, perhaps? The writer of the paper? Maybe. Who/what is being considered? Brutus. Passive voice.

An easy trick is using the phrase ‘by zombies.’ If you can add ‘by zombies’ to the sentence to make it sound as though the zombies are doing the action, it’s likely in passive voice. In the Julius Caesar example, adding ‘by zombies’ makes it sound as though the zombies consider Brutus the tragic hero.

PV Example: The ball was caught (by zombies).

PV Example: The foundation of the bourgeois was formed in the Middle Ages (by zombies).

Exception to the ‘by zombies’ rule: The boy was walking (by zombies). Yes, ‘by zombies’ works there, but the zombies have nothing to do with the verb. The zombies are not performing the verb. This leads me to my next point:

Past/Present Progressive is not Passive Voice.

Past progressive tense is used to show the continuation of an action.

Past Progressive AV Example: The boy was catching the ball.

Let’s ask the simple questions again. What is doing the catching? The boy. What is being caught? The ball. The verb ‘to be’ does not automatically designate passive voice and anyone telling you that is mistaken.

Past Progressive PV Example: The ball was being caught by the boy.

Present Progressive AV Example: The boy is performing the action.

Present Progressive PV Example: The action is being performed by the boy.

Use of ‘to be’ does not always indicate passive voice.

AV Example: The boy was brave.

That’s not passive voice because it’s describing a state of being. It’s not necessarily the greatest sentence (show don’t tell is a discussion for a different day), but it’s not passive voice.

Some more examples:

PV: Dad got called into work last night.

AV: Dad’s boss called him into work last night.

PV: All the food was eaten by the end of dinner except for my fruitcake.

AV: The guests ate all the food by the end of dinner except for my fruitcake.

PV: The man was being eaten by the tiger when my phone rang.

AV: The tiger was eating the man when my phone rang.

Note: Not all instances of passive voice are bad. Don’t go through your writing and change every example of passive voice because passive voice is evil. It’s not. This post is just designed (by zombies) to explain what passive voice is.