mouthporn.net
#children – @youreallwrite on Tumblr

@youreallwrite / youreallwrite.tumblr.com

Avatar
reblogged

So, because people writing inaccurate kid!fic bothers me, a quick reference to kids (Disclaimer:  I have no professional background in child development, and no offspring of my own - this is all based on other people’s kids.):

Newborn:  Person-larva.  Cannot do much but eat, sleep, cuddle, cry, poop.  Cannot hold their own head up.  May pick up on the mood of the person holding them, but response to it is going to consists of either contentment or complaining.  Those are pretty much the two states of a newborn: happily cuddly or expressing displeasure. 

2 - 6 months:  Somewhat more aware of surroundings, own appendages, etc.  Will recognize people, like some better than others.  Smiles, laughs, babbles.  Somewhere in here rolling over commences, and possibly crawling.  Starts teething. 

6 -12 months: Lots of babbling, but no actual talking.  Crawls, pulls self up to standing while holding onto things, may start wobbly independent walking.  Some kids are climbers (may heaven help their parents).  Eating some solid food (as in, mashed up stuff), but still nursing / drinking formula too.  This is the beginning of the exploratory, everything-goes-in-the-mouth stage.  Still teething.

1 year old: Has teeth, eats solid food.  Many parents wean at this age, but it’s not unusual to continue breastfeeding.  Talks, but probably not very clearly - pronunciation will be interesting, and vocabulary very limited.  May repeat a new word incessantly.  Points at things they want.  Physical coordination and verbal skills increase as child gets older.  Maybe develop utterly random phobias, usually of things that are new or unpredictable.  Interested in other children, may mimic older children.  Still sticks everything in their mouth.

2 years old: Speaks well enough to be understood by those who know them, but not necessarily strangers.  Uses simple phrases.  May mash words together to express a concept for which they don’t yet know the word, or make a word up.  Is learning labels for things, though they may not be accurate (i.e. all old men are grandpa, all round objects are a ball, etc.)  Knows colors, parts of the body, types of animals, etc.  Walks, runs, dances, etc - basically the full range of physical stuff, just all of it is kinda awkward.  Can roll a ball or throw it in a clumsy way.  May have a favorite toy, security blanket, etc.  May play pretend games or make up stories, but they’re likely to be fair inscrutable to adults.  Wants to do things independently, but is likely to be easily frustrated.  Has tantrums.  Plays with other children, but not terribly good at sharing or being nice.  Asks questions; the ‘why?’ stage has begun.  Toilet training begins around this age; girls tend to get the hang of it quicker than boys. 

3 years old - pretty much the same as 2, only a bit better at all of it.  Asks a LOT of questions.  Has friends.  Plays pretend.  Understands rules (though is unlikely to obey them very well).  Can count, though not very far.  Speaks well enough to be understood by strangers; you know that so-cute-you-could-die kid-speak people love to write?  This is the appropriate age for it (up through about age 5). 

4 to 5 - cutesy kid-speak is age appropriate.  May still have tantrums, still not the best at sharing, but should be starting to get socially functional.  Can throw or kick a ball, jump, stand on one foot, all that.  Can count, recite alphabet.  Some kids start learning to read and write arond this age, though it wouldn’t yet be abnormal for them not to be able to.   Lots of pretend play.  Emotionally intense; everything is dire.  Learning to be self-maintaining, i.e. may bathe independently but needs an adult to wash their hair.

6 - 10 - speaks like an emotionally immature adult; the things they have to say are still kid-like, but they should be easing out of kid-speak.  Reads, writes, can do math - these skills increase with age.  Understands and (usually) obeys rules, has a concept of fairness, kindness vs. cruelty, etc.  Forms tight friendships, keeps secrets, wants to fit in and be liked; having a best friend or a group of friends is the most important thing in their world.  Wants to be good at things; has definite interests and academic strengths and weaknesses.  May bully or be bullied; kids this age can be mean.  As in horrifyingly so.  Has crushes (though probably still finds it acutely embarrassing).  Understands death.  Kids this age will curse, though hilariously badly.  Still wants parental affection, but probably not in public. 

11 - 12 - mini-teen, which is to say emotionally vulnerable, short-sighted mini-adult.  Naive still, but not terribly so - has a basic understanding of human nature, events around them, etc.  Begins to form political / ideological / religious opinions.  May begin reciprocal romantic attachments.  Strongly focused on collective identity, what ‘niche’ or ‘crowd’ they identify with.  Some girls start puberty.  This is also the age of things going badly wrong; kids know which other kids are the sociopaths at this stage.  While everybody else is learning how to not be a mean little shit to everybody unlike themselves (or a bitter perpetual victim), those few who aren’t developing in a good direction become downright terrifying. 

13 - 15 - somewhere in here, kids will start either facing major adult-scale decisions and problems themselves, or seeing peers doing so.  Shit gets real.  This is why teenagers think they know everything; the rose-colored glasses of childhood fall off, and they are suddenly So Very Jaded and cannot imagine there being more to the world than what they can suddenly perceive now, because it is overwhelming.  Likely to be angry at the world, likely to gravitate toward ideological extremes.  Takes risks.  Forms romantic attachments; may experiment sexually, may not, maturity levels here very A LOT. 

16 - 21 - moody adult with far more curiosity than common sense.  Does thing in grand and dramatic fashion.  Experiments with different identities.  Wants total independence.  Many develop greater social maturity around this time; stop seeing others in terms of cliques, develop greater empathy and ability to see things from multiple perspectives.  Forms romantic attachments that may be serious or even life-long. 

This really bothers me a lot too! More than I think. Some fics make the kids seems like mature adults whilst others tend to do the opposite.

-Sherry

Avatar

Hi! Do you have any information about children psychology? Like how much they understand at certain ages, when they begin to feel guilty about stuff, what is required for them to get attached to something, what might affect them or have a big impact in their lives, etc? Also something about the adequate height and weight according to their ages. I know it's a lot, but I need some help searching. I can't seem to find what I'm looking for. Thanks in advance!

Avatar

Lucky for you, I’m a completely self-proclaimed psychology expert. No I’m kidding, I just took a class. I’ll be discussing this similarly to the way I formatted my notes, which were based off the textbook and various lessons my teacher attempted to present to us.

I’ve given you a basic outline on what you should know, and you can take from it what you’d like. If you have any other questions about developmental psychology that weren’t answered, just shoot me another message!

001. NEWBORNS’ ABILITIES 

After birth, the genetic program regulates how the brain develops. During the first 3 months, the most active areas of the brain are involved in processing sounds, sights, and touches, which helps to prepare the infant for dealing with sensory information from the surrounding environment.

Sensory development:

  • Newborns show a preference for their mother’s face over strangers’ faces in the first few days after birth. Newborns first learn to recognize a person’s eyes. At 4 months, infants visually distinguish faces. By 3 or 4 years, their visual abilities are equal to that of an adults.
  • 1-month-old infants have keen hearing and can discriminate small sound variations. By 6 months, infants have the ability to make all the sounds necessary to learn language. Newborns are attracted to female voices.
  • Newborns have a well-developed sense of touch.
  • A 1-day-old infant can discriminate between odors. 6-week-old infants can smell the difference between their mother and someone else. Newborns are born with an innate preference for sweet and salt. 
  • By 6 months, infants develop depth perception, and would hesitate around the visual cliff

Motor development:

  • Proximodistal principle -> Activities regarding the bottom are mastered before activities using the arms. Infants roll over before they walk.
  • Cephalocaudal principle -> Infants lift their heads before they control their bottoms enough to sit up. Infants sit up before they crawl.
  • In developing motor skills, most kids go through the same stages. Yet, if one child is given more opportunities to practice their stepping reflex earlier in life, they will began to walk earlier. Development of motor development is heavily influenced by maturation, but timing is affected by experience/learning, or nature.

002. DEVELOPMENTAL NORMS

  • Sitting up alone - average 5.5 months (range 4.5-8.0 months)
  • Crawling - average 10 months (range 7.0-12.0 months)
  • Walking alone - average 12.1 months (range 11.5-14.5 months)

003. ATTACHMENT

Attachment theory dictates that babies form attachments to parents through a gradual process that begins after birth and continues throughout early childhood. 

Infants have crying, which elicits care and sympathy. At 4-6 weeks, they begin social smiling, which elicits joy and pleasure. At 6 months, they give parents a happy greeting when they reappear after a short absence. These behaviors contribute to a child expressing needs and understanding their parents’ emotional experiences, which ultimately help to build a parent-child attachment. 

Separation anxiety is a clear sign the infant has become attached to one or both parents. By the end of their 1st year, infants usually show close attachment.

Different kinds of attachment occur:

  • Secure attachment - infants use their caregiver as a safe home base. [Associated with being more trusting, enjoying relationships more, and dealing better with stress.]
  • Insecure attachment - infants show resistance towards their caregiver. [Associated with being dependent, having poor social relationships, and having poor coping skills.]

Attachment is not affected by how long a child is in day care, but by the caregiver’s sensitivity, caring, and responsiveness to needs.

004. PIAGET’S STAGES OF COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT 

  1. Sensorimotor (birth to age 2) -> Infants interact with and learn about their environments by relating their sensory experiences to their motor actions. Children have problems with object permanence. 
  2. Preoperational (age 2 to 7) -> Children learn to use symbols to solve simple problems and to think or talk about things that aren’t present. Limitations during this stage include issues with conservation and egocentric thinking. 
  3. Concrete (age 7 to 11) -> Children can perform a number of logical mental operations on concrete objects. Children learn to sort objects by size and color.
  4. Formal (age 12 through adulthood) -> Adolescents and adults develop the ability to think about and solve abstract problems in a logical manner. Egocentric thinking reappears in adolescent thinking (imaginary audience and personal fable). 

Note that these stages are not as orderly as Piaget imagined. Psychologists have also learned that genetic factors influence many cognitive abilities.

005. SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT 

Freud’s Psychosexual Stages:

  • Oral Stage (first 18 months) -> A time when the infant’s pleasure seeking is centered on the mouth. If a child is locked in this stage, they would continue to seek oral satisfaction as an adult (could lead to chewing erasers on pencils, etc). 
  • Anal Stage (1.5 to 3 years) -> A time when the infant’s pleasure seeking is centered on the anus and its functions of elimination. Fixation at this stage would lead to behaviors focused on either retention or elimination. Retention usually takes the form of being very neat, behaviorally rigid, etc. Elimination can take the form of being messy or generous.
  • Phallic Stage (3 or 6 years) -> A time when the infant’s pleasure seeking is centered on the genitals. Children will compete with the parent of the same sex for the affection of the opposite sex. Problems in resolving this stage lead to the Oedipus complex.
  • Latency Stage (6 to puberty) -> A time when the child represses sexual thoughts and engages in nonsexual activities.
  • Genital Stage (puberty through adulthood) -> A time when the person has renewed sexual desires that they want to fulfill through relationships.

Erikson’s Psychosexual Stages 

  • Stage 1: Trust versus Mistrust (infancy through first year) -> If parents are responsive, the child develops trust. If parents are neglectful, the child may begin to view their world as uncaring and have difficulties later on.
  • Stage 2: Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt (1 to 3 years old) -> If the child is encouraged to explore, they will develop a sense of independence. If their parents disapprove of explorations, the child may feel shame.
  • Stage 3: Initiative versus Guilt (3 to 5 years old) -> If the caregivers encourage initiative, the child will learn to plan and initiate new things. If not, the child may feel uncomfortable and develop a feeling of being unable to plan their futures.
  • Stage 4: Industry versus Inferiority (5 to 12 years old) ->  If the child can direct energy into working at tasks, the child will develop a feeling of industry. If not, they may feel inferior or incompetent.
  • Stage 5: Identity versus Role Confusion (adolescence) -> Children need to leave behind the behaviors of childhood and develop the more responsible behaviors of adults.

Psychologists tend to agree with Erikson on the idea that psychosocial conflicts contribute to development and that the first few (particularly 5) years were not a barrier for development. Psychologists also tend to agree with Freud about childhood events being important

Bandura’s Social Cognitive Theory emphasizes the importance of learning through observation, self-reward, and imitation in the development of behaviors. You do not need to perform behaviors or receive external rewards to learn new skills. 

006. LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT

Noam Chomsky and many other linguists believe that people are born with the ability to learn language.

Four Stages in Acquiring Language:

  • Babbling (begins at 6 months) -> Babbling is when an infant begins to make one-syllable sounds, such as “ba-ba-ba.” By 6 months, infants have learned to discriminate between sounds. In deaf children who have only been exposed to sign language, babbling is manual. 
  • Single Word (about 1 year of age) -> Infants say single words that refer to what they can see, hear, or feel. About half refer to objects (cookie) and the ther half to actions or routines (up, eat, more). Parents usually respond by speaking in parentese (motherese)
  • Two-word combinations (about 2 years of age) -> Strings of words that express various actions (”me play”). The new ability to communicate by combining words marks the beginning of learning about grammar. From around age 2, children begin to learn a new word every 2 hours or so. Language development is partly dependent on how responsive the caregiver is.
  • Sentences (about 4 years) -> Sentences range from 3 to 8 words and indicate a growing knowledge about grammar. Children’s first sentences differ from adult sentences due to telegraphic speech and overgeneralization. 

The critical language period is the time from infancy to adolescence when language is easiest to learn. Both innate and environmental language factors affect our development in language. To learn more about what happens when someone is deprived of language during the critical period, please read up on the cases of Genie and Victor [I encourage you to watch + and + movies for a better understanding of their cases]. 

Avatar
Avatar
reblogged

Parenting (Writing Prompts)

This is a second set of writing prompts on the topic of parenting (prompts about babies can be found here); this one for this request:

do you have any prompts for parenting? the couple i’m writing about is two guys with one kid, if that helps. thank you! (i’m the one who asked for parenting prompts) i forgot to add, the kid is twelve but mature for it’s age and nonbinary
  1. The child need homework help with something neither of their parents understands.
  2. The child brings home a new friend.
  3. The parents have to face people accusing them of being a bad influence on the kid.
  4. Or they keep getting asked whether their child is a boy or a girl whenever they’re shopping for something.
  5. Or told by a stranger that something they are buying is meant for a gender other than what the stranger assumes the child to be.
  6. The child gets in trouble at school.
  7. The child is sick and the parents take turns taking care for them.
  8. The kid tries to surprise their parents.
  9. The parents try to help the kid find a new hobby.
  10. How does the kid feel about the possibility of having a sibling?
  11. The family goes on a vacation.
  12. One of the parents needs to choose between their work and the child’s science fair (or something similar).
  13. The family goes grocery shopping together.
  14. The kid wants to talk to their parents about their future education.
  15. The family has planned a trip but something gets in the way.
Avatar

On Writing Children

Here is the best advice I can give you;

No, I’m not going to care about your character simply because they are a child. Being a man, woman, child, human, animal, alien, has nothing to do with the level of care I will give your character. I need to know who they are. 

So many books and movies just pull out the ‘Oh, a child then’ trope if they need us to care about someone but are unsure of how to make any of their characters likable or don’t think they have time too. So, suddenly there’s a precious star-child, savior baby or a little girl with super powers. This is especially common in escort style stories where children are treated like precious cargo/objects, instead of human beings.

You ever wonder why everyone groans when a child character is introduced? This is why. Because we are suddenly given something useless that must be protected at all costs. No one likes that in a character; but we can’t complain about it because it’s a child. Well, I can.

Here are some things that might help.

  • Children have varying personalities. 
  • Children have goals; hopes and dreams, sometimes impossible. 
  • Children have views on their situation & how others see them.
  • Children can be manipulative and selfish.
  • It’s okay for adults to be frustrated and annoyed around them. 
  • Children offer perspectives adults might not have thought of. 
  • Children have bad habits that could be annoying, lower morale or put people in danger. 
  • Children can be useful. They can help, and they can learn. 
  • Children usually like to be around other children more than adults. 
  • Children like any perceived power or favoritism as we all like something we rarely experience. 
  • Children want to have fun. What fun is might vary. 
  • It’s okay for adults and children to be friends.
  • Children and adults can learn from one another. It’s not one sided. 
  • It’s okay for bad things to happen to your child characters. 
  • Shy children still have views; and express them creatively. 
  • Children don’t ‘innately like good guys’ and ‘innately fear/hate bad guys’. 
  • Children are not magical creatures. They are humans. (Unless of course they are a magical creature in your world.)
  • Children can have senses of humor. 
  • Children can have mental disorders. 
  • Children turn into pubescent adults; and suddenly; hormones. It;s normal.
  • A lot of children are aware of darker themes. 
  • Not everyone is going to like the child because it is a child. 
  • Especially not every woman
  • Children need to develop as characters. They do so faster than adults. 

Some really good examples of children written well are Lyra, from Northern Lights and Ellie from The Last of Us. Northern Lights is fairly vague in it’s audience and has been read by children and adults; but The Last of Us is aimed at adults, and still gives Ellie a great character. She is allowed to explore her sexuality, her ‘purpose’, have a blunt personality and swear in people’s faces. While Lyra is smart, curious and daring. She uses her cunning to fight her battles. I really loved her as a child and as an adult. 

So there are some ideas! And I wish you very good luck!

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net