A popular sex ed blog has decided trans men & mascs aren't allowed to use our own words to describe our own oppression, and seems to be deleting replies and asks that say otherwise, so I've decided to take my ramble over to main.
Regarding TMA/TME language, they've brought up a couple of times how "exempt" means "set apart" rather than "never experiences transmisogyny ever," and how words can have multiple definitions (this post). So it's best to hear people out before jumping to bad-faith interpretations of their words.
However, they also say, "misandry is a term for the 'oppression of men based on gender'" (this post) as a reason why "transmisandry" can never be used.
That is one definition of misandry, yes, but as they pointed out, words can have multiple definitions! Regarding the oppression against trans men & mascs, misandry is generally used to mean the literal "hatred of men," and people in these discussions don't believe that misandry is an axis of systemic oppression (which has been stated over and over).
Yes, it has negative connotations, which is why people more often use transandrophobia or anti-transmasculinity instead. (This poll shows more specifically which terms are most preferred.) But that doesn't mean people who use the term transmisandry are MRAs or believe in the MRA concept of misandry.
Transmisandry is not claiming a combination of systemic transphobia and "systemic misandry," but hatred against trans men & mascs for being trans men/masc. Again, many people prefer other terms that leave less room for that misinterpretation, but people who do use the term transmisandry aren't responsible for others repeatedly ignoring their actual explanations of the term.
In general, arguing over the words rather than the concepts is a very common way to silence people who are trying to talk about their oppression. Jews talking about antisemitism get dismissed because "You're not Semitic, you're from Poland." Aromantic and asexual people get dismissed because "Aphobia literally means 'fear of nothing,' that's a stupid term." And trans men & mascs get told "You can't use that word to talk about your oppression, it's problematic." (Time and time again, and every time we pick a new word, that one gets called problematic too; it's almost like the problem was never really the word?) The words get picked apart but people don't listen to what we're actually saying, the ways we're suffering.
In their own words, from this post: "Do you have to like the language? No. Do you have to respect the way and language oppressed people have chosen to speak about their oppression? Yes. Yes, you do."
Trans men & mascs shouldn't be an exception to your respect.
This is so disappointing 😔
Crazy that @certifiedsexed has reblogged from me before - things about genital health and hormones. But now they have me blocked. I'm not a trans man, either, so they're just plain ole intersexist, too. Blocked for BEGGING queer people to give a shit about intersex people.
Why do you fuckers hate us so much? Genuinely. Are we supposed to shut up and die so you all aren't bothered? Are we supposed to never discuss the truth of our experiences, how the queer community is failing us, and how our rates of suicide and homelessness are higher than all other queer populations?
If your sex ed deliberately excludes INTERSEX PEOPLE, you're participating in our fucking deliberate erasure and genocide. Sex Ed MUST include intersex people. We are forcibly sterilized at birth! We have our sexual pleasure destroyed at infancy with surgery! We have bodies fetishized and derided on a level average people cant understand and that impacts our sex lives! Fuck any "sex ed" that doesn't include us.
And fuck you if you think trans men can't have a term for their oppression - why is this debate so wrapped up with intersexism? Is it bc seeing queer ppl silence other queer ppl is something intersex people feel particularly strongly about for some reason? I wish I could delete blogs for people.
