Camilo: GWYS HELPP I FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE

Everyone:

Dolores: How the actual hell–

Isabela: If Dolores says she’ll be ready in five minutes, she will be.

Isabela: No need to remind her every fifteen minutes about it.

Dolores, from the other room: You're even worse

Luisa: Oh, hell, how's it my twin's birthday already? I was too busy, I'm so not ready!

Dolores: Luisa, for the last time, my father isn't you 'twin'

*Isabela comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Carlota’s bedroom.*

Carlota: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?

Isabela: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend.

Isabela: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*

Carlota: ...

Isabela: Fuck, I wish I was gay like you

Luisa:???

Isabela: I mean, women are objectively more attractive and so kisseable I'm so freakingly attracted to them

Luisa: What you mean you attracted to women and not men?

Isabela: *groans* Obviously, I'm–

Isabela: –wait a second

Mirabel: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

Isabela: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Camilo go find out if that thing can catch fire!

Mirabel: You're a bad influence.

Isabela: And you don't know your sayings.

Luisa: Not to say I have favouritism but if it turned out I had to choose which of my sisters to kick out of Encacto I would be very upset over the fact I can't tease Isabela over height anymore

Isabela:

Mirabel: Why would you even do this???

Isabela: People are so stupid sometimes. Do you have any idea of why all fucking assumed God is a man? Why the fuck can't they be a woman?

Dolores: I mean, they don't even have a...

Isabela: I will say God is extremely cool lady.

Luisa: And I think God is a talking donkey named Hercules.

Isabela:

Isabela: Crap, you're a genius for this. In this case I will say God is a cactus. A extremely cool cactus woman.

Isabela: Oh, wait that's just me.

Isabela: Does it mean I'm God?

Isabela: Oh hell! Today's the day I can look like a cactus I am.

Dolores: Isn't it just any normal day?

Luisa: *Lies on a couch, pretty much dying*

Dolores: What is it this?

Luisa: This lack pack of coffee I ordered is old and tastes like shit. And I'm on my time of a month so I can't understand if my head aches because of it or because I need damn coffee

Dolores:

Dolores: Fuck, this is awful *pats her shoulder* I feel bad for you

Isabela: Hey! I finally got why the big breasts are needed for

Isabela: If somebody shoots or stabs you in a chest, it has a chance to be stuck in a breast instead of breaking your ribcage

Luisa:

Isabela:

Luisa: I'm taking off your sisterly privileges.

[Fastened au]

Luisa, in front of Abuela's door: Okay, I will do this. For the family.

Luisa: ... maybe for Abuela to pay attention to me a little?

Luisa: Nothing hard. Just break in and leave before anyone notices

Questionary: There's five children and three chairs. What are you gonna do?

Dolores: Get Camilo because children is his job

Luisa: Lift all the kids

Isabela: Break the chairs and make kids fight with the pieces

Mirabel: Get Luisa so she can get the chairs.... Or lift kids

Camilo: Who the hell didn't get enough chairs in the first place?

Dolores: Do you know what siblings are needed for?

Dolores: So that when they have a hard time you can come to them and say 'Lmao you're such a loser'

Camilo: And it's not even insulting

Alma when the family is getting out of hand: English or Spanish?

Félix: Wait aren't we in Colombia so what does English have to...

Alma: Who moves first is straight.

The entire family: *Fucking freezes*

*talking on the phone*

Isabela: Remember how I said that Camilo and I were gonna have a calm night out for once?

Mirabel: Yeah…

Isabela: Well, we’re in jail.

Mirabel: *hangs up*