Yeah, like the bird.

Man medieval alchemists we're really good at drawing pretty diagrams with circles it's a shame so many of them are full of antisemitism

yes

i don’t care what anyone says i love tik tok

"the ghosts that inhabit this place are more alive than you'll ever be" is an unfairly intense quote to be under a tiktok comment

quiz time !! answer some music based questions and ill psychoanalyze you <3

oh you don’t sleep well? maybe i should fuck you into exhaustion?? you know, as a friend, i just want you to get some rest

I just heard my mom tell my brother, “when you die, you will go outside and garden until your father says you’re done” and it took me a second to realize that my brother was playing a videogame and this was not a theological discussion.

Purgatory

The Garden of Death

Watercolor and gouache by Hugo Simberg, 1896

Did you have that on stand by?

You know that whole trope where like, the protagonists get teleported up into the aliens’ spaceship or base or whatever and the alien appears to them only it doesn’t appear as it really looks like but rather, since it doesn’t want to scare the protagonists, it takes the form of something we find familiar and pleasing and is like, “I look like your dad or whatever–is this form okay?” Like I think about that trope a lot and I think like, what if the alien couldn’t pick out a form via telepathy and only had earth media to try and decide what form would scare its human guests least and be accepted almost immediately and honestly the more I think about it the more options for what form that might be are just really fun to me.

“I have chosen the form of your earth playwright and composer Lin-Manuel Miranda–do not be afraid. I come in peace.”

“Greetings. I am Glofnorbo of the cloud you call the ‘Pegasus Nebula.’ I have scanned your earth media from afar and empirically decided that you would find the form of the one known as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson most pleasing. I have come to confer with your leaders.” 

“Do not be panic. I come in peace. I have assumed the form of your insectoid demigoddess ‘Hatsune Miku’ so that we may communicate peacefully without my true form horrifying you.” 

“It was decided that I would assume the form of your ‘Mister Rogers’ in order to best welcome your world to the galactic neighborhood without frightening your kind.”

“…So did your colleague take on the form of Jack Black for that reason too?”

“No, that is the actual Jack Black. We do not know how to make him leave.”

Plot twist: the aliens take the form of Elvis just to fuck with the protagonist. 

That would seriously work on me way too well

these images contain the same aura whether i like it or not

having cash is like having secret money. like whos gonna find out i’m buying tacos with this crisp $20 bill??? not my bank account, that’s for sure

unraveled

me, reaching into my dresser drawer for black pants: I hope this isn’t the pair with big holes worn in the inner thighs

Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer

me: oh shit that’s right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!

Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, that’s correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!

me: Yes thanks I got it they’re in the fabric basket now

Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!!

The notion of KonMari as some creepy semi-embodied but entirely benevolent spirit, like a well-intentioned Bloody Mary, is so perfect and wonderful.

This got me to move my shredded pants to my “clothes I like” drawer instead of my “generally wearable in human society” drawer.

here’s a bad take: every holiday having the same English spelling controversy as Chanukah.

Welcome to Pahzohvhr season everybody

No, that doesn’t work, because “Passover” is the English translation and as such only has one correct spelling.

This is Payssakh season.

i thought it was spelled pesakh until i was 14

It actually is spelled Pesakh! And also Pesah, and Pessach, and in some Spanish-speaking communities Pesaj.

For some reason, though, Pesach has become a far more dominant transliteration in English than any take on Chanukah.

May I submit: Pay Sock.

You may not.

Pay Sock it is!

So I was looking for some Hebrew study guides, and somehow ended up getting recommendations for the Sammy Spider books in French. Hence, I have just learnt that Jewish holidays in French are spelled as follows: 

Roch Hachana Yom Kippour Souccot Chemini Atzeret/Sim'hat Torah Hanoucca Tou Bichvat Pourim Pessa'h Lag BaOmer Chavouot Jeûne de Tichea BeAv

(and Chabbat) In conclusion, nothing is even remotely official, and all of our many, many attempts to spell Hebrew words in other languages are extremely cursed. Welcome to galut. 

how on fucking earth

why is her caption the funniest thing