I have a very vivid memory of sitting in a first grade classroom (first grade was my first actual classroom because my mom homeschooled me for kindergarten) thinking “I am literally going to die, I can’t live one more minute without reading a story, but I’ve already gotten my book confiscated for peeking at it during class and I have no backup book and I’m going to die” and then thinking in a burst of divine inspiration “WHAT IF I TELL MYSELF A STORY INSIDE MY HEAD.  THEY CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.  PHYSICALLY THEY CANNOT.”

they could not

That’s how it begins

Does anyone else feel like they’re living their lives in third person? Like nothing seems fully real, and it’s hard to connect to anyone or anything no matter how beautiful or tragic. It’s almost like things are passing by and you’re watching yourself experience everything, but feel nothing.

anyone who dissociates semi-constantly, please avoid traditional mindfulness

I have now been told by two mental health professionals in two days that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES EVER am I to practice traditional Mindfulness exercises

Apparently ‘feeling like I’m dissolving’ and also that ‘I’m rising out of my body’, and being passing-out-exhausted afterwards, are all the complete OPPOSITE of what’s meant to happen

Who knew???

But seriously - this is something that apparently happens to people who are low-key (or not so low-key) disassociating semi-constantly, and is really really not good for you. So if you’re one of those people, like me! then there are other forms of mindfulness that may be more appropriate for you - specifically touch/sensation based, rather than the guided-thinking, breath- and sensory-focusing exercises that make up traditional mindfulness programs/exercises. Talk to your local health care professional if at all possible. 

But basically, if you know you have issues with disassociation, and somebody recommends a mindfulness program to you, BRING UP THE FACT THAT YOU DISASSOCIATE. Because normal mindfulness can be super bad for you. There ARE apparently mindfulness programs that can be helpful, but they have to be catered to the disassociation. So.

Please bear that in mind, everybody.

To add: mindfulness practices are also contraindicated for people who experience psychosis, paranoia, or hallucinations, and there’s debate over how safe they are for people who live with OCD.

IMPORTANT for those of us who are pagans and neuroatypical - a looot of spiritual exercise and beginner meditations are about mindfulness.

dissociation

anyone else dissociating

a comic about dissociation. 

lets play a game of: did i really do this or did i just think about doing it so hard that i constructed a false memory of it

this is a symptom of dissociation

If you’re in that kind of depression where everything is blurry and days blend into one another, taking a lot of photos of positive things might help. If your pet does something cute, you ate something good, got a high score, you cleaned your room, the weather was nice… I’m not saying this will fix your depression, it’s just a good reminder that you are in fact living regardless of the depression distorting your memory and making your past seem like fog of sadness and nothing else.

i wish someone had told me this a few years ago i don’t remember my late twenties

A super good trick, could be very helpful if you are strugglin with disassociation. A picture with a time stamp on it would give you concrete evidence if there’s something you vaguely remember but aren’t sure if it was real or whatever. I know it’s been helpful for me in the past 👌🏻

does anyone else ever like…. partially dissociate? like there’s a little part of you that is just not there but the rest of you is like “come back to the body, bud, we have stuff to do”

Grounding Sigil for feelings of unreality  (For the person who asked if we had a sigil for this)

when ur in a really stressful situation and you should be freaking tf out but ur dissociating so hard you just dont care