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@yeahibetyouwontcry

main: dreamingofourfirstborn
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awbrainno

The fact that I'm quarantined while my mental health fails in a disastrous spiral endlessly screaming about the end times and I'm still having bad pain days as if trying to fukken deal with even just my base levels of daily pain isn't hard enough is a Motherfucking Crime

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PSA your parent can have done good things.  Your parent can be supportive.  You can have a fairly good relationship with your parent and go to them whenever you need something.  You can have a good parent who still abuses.  Because those times they call you names, gaslight you,”accidentally” swipe at you, or make you feel like you owe them something…. those are all still forms of abuse.  No amount of good rectifies those bads.  And they may say “I do x, y, and z for you, I’ve been a good parent” or any variation of that.  It doesn’t mean that they haven’t abused.  That some of their behavior wasn’t acceptable.  Abuse isn’t negated by how “good” you are.  So don’t feel your trauma or feelings are not valid because they are and it’s ok. 

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abusive parents get so mad when their kid has a life and isn’t waiting to be ordered around by them every single second of their life

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children shouldn’t be afraid of their parents. children don’t normally spend as much time as they can daydreaming about running away or killing their parents. adults should remember what made them do these things and not just the parts that make themselves look worse without any context

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abusive parents will tell you that hitting, manipulating and controlling children doesn’t traumatize them and then in the same breath shame their children for showing trauma symptoms

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Mom: “You are a self centered asshole who wants everything at the drop of a hat.”

*1 month later*

Me: *having a mental breakdown arguing with mom*“It’s because I’m just a self centered asshole who wants everything at the drop of a hat, like you said!”

Mom: “I never said that! Don’t you dare put words in my mouth!”

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moment of silence for all the parts of our personality abusive parents killed because it wasn’t convenient for them to have a child with personality

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All the survival skills I learned as a kid are now holding me back as an adult.    

 I survived hell and now I can’t survive outside of it.

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I just came across a quote. “I’ve heard that if your child hates you, that indicates you’re doing a good job.” No it doesn’t indicate you’re doing a good job. It’s hard to love someone who is manipulative, abusive, and downright evil. Children do not hate parents for being good parents. Children do not hate parents for protecting them and loving them.

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