The Eighth Deadly Sin (8/?)

The only sound in the room was the beeping of the machines.

Sam sat quietly beside Gabriel, waiting for him to say something, anything. But he just sat there, alternating between staring at the wall the boy on the hospital bed. Sam finally broke after a few hours.

“What are you going to tell him?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” Gabriel’s voice was rough, unused. He hadn’t spoken since they got the news and Sam didn’t push him. He just held his hand and let him grieve.

“Cas?” Sam and Gabe were both startled by Dean’s voice. He had been unconscious for four days and they were starting to lose hope. Gabriel pressed the call button just as Dean turned his head to look at them.

“Gabe? What’s going on?” He looked between them. “Where’s Cas?”

Gabriel was spared from having to answer by the doctor coming in. He went over Dean’s chart and explained his injuries in the simplest way possible.

“You’re very lucky,” He said, closing the chart and putting it back at the foot of the bed. Dean thanked him and he left.

Dean looked the ceiling, processing what the doctor had said. He turned his head to look at Gabe again, green eyes shining.

“Gabriel, where’s Cas?” He whispered. Sam had a feeling that he already knew, but needed to hear the affirmation. Gabe swallowed hard and squeezed Sam’s hand.

“Dean,” He said, his voice cracking horribly. “Cas didn't–”

“No,” Dean interrupted, shaking his head. “No. No.”

“He had major internal bleeding. There was nothing–”

“No! You’re trying to pull a joke and it’s not funny. Cas!” Dean screamed for him until his voice faded into heart wrenching sobs. Sam felt tears burning in his own eyes again while Dean cried.

“I need to see him,” Dean choked out around his tears. “Gabe, I have to….I need to….”

“Dean…” Gabriel wasn’t sure how to continue. How could he tell him without ruining him even more?

“What?”

“His parents reported him missing when they kicked him out to cover their asses. He was still in the system when they brought him in.”

“No,” Dean said again, slumping against the pillow, defeated tears falling from his eyes. “No. They can’t have him. They threw him away. They can’t take him from me now.”

“I know. I–” Gabe’s voice broke. He didn’t know what else to say. What could he possibly say?

“Fuck,” Dean whispered. “Fuck, Cas.”

He started crying again. Gabriel pulled Sam from the room, wanting to give him his privacy. Gabriel called everyone and let them know that Dean was awak. He told them to hold off on visiting for a while. The news about Cas had hit him hard, as was to be expected.

Benny and Jo showed up around six so that Gabriel and Sam could go home and rest. The group had been taking turns watching over Dean in case anything happened. Gabriel had been taking every other shift because he was the one that wanted to tell Dean about Cas. No one fought him for it.

“How is he?”

“About as good as to expected. Don’t push him.” Jo nodded and rubbed his arm, comfortingly.

“You head on back,” Benny said. “We got it for a few hours.”

Gabriel nodded and pulled Sam from the building to his car. When they got to the intersection, he turned right towards Sam’s neighborhood.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you home.”

“I want to stay with you!” Sam knew that Gabriel was hurting and he wanted to be there for him. Gabe shook his head.

“I just need to be alone for a while, okay?” The words were quiet and gentle but they hit Sam like he yelled them.

Sam didn’t want to be alone. He was hurting, too, after all. He had just gotten his friend back after years of not knowing what had happened to him, only to have him ripped away so quickly. He wanted Gabriel to hold him and comfort him and tell him that it was going to be okay.

“Alright,” He said, instead.

They spent the rest of the ride in silence. Gabriel stopped in front of his house and sighed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” He said without looking at Sam.

“Do you want to ride with us or are you going to meet us at the church?”

“I’ll meet you there. Goodnight.”

After a moment of deliberation, Sam leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Sleep tight.”

Sam went inside an up the stairs. He curled up in his bed and fought back more tears.

Cas’s funeral was the next day. Everyone in town was going to be there, offering condolences to the people that had tossed him out. Gabriel was the only racer going and that was only because he was Cas’s cousin. Sam hadn’t been back to the neighborhood he knew that all the racers were in mourning, too.

The next day was dark and heavy with rain. The church was full of people that Sam didn’t recognize and he knew that none of them knew who Castiel was. He found Gabriel outside waiting and went in with him.

They sat in the back of the church while the service went on. Cas’s parents sat on the front row, his mother was crying and his father sat with his back straight and head held high. Sam was disgusted by both of them.

Half way though the service, Gabriel stood and walked out. Sam followed him without a second thought.

“He would have hated that,” Gabriel said when they were in the parking lot. “That was a disgrace to his memory and they know that!”

Sam put his arms around Gabriel and Gabe’s complaints faded into sobs.

“He shouldn’t be dead,” He choked. “It’s not fair.”

“I know.”

“He wanted to be cremated. He said that he wanted to be able to go to the places that he hadn’t been yet. And they’re gonna put him in the ground. And I have to go home and either lie to everyone–lie to Dean–and say that this was nice or tell them the truth and hurt them more.”

Sam didn’t say anything. He just rubbed Gabriel’s back and let him cry. Sam couldn’t imagine how he felt. Cas was his little brother in every way that counted and now he was gone, stolen from in more ways than one.

“Let’s get out of here,” Sam suggested. Gabriel nodded and handed Sam his keys.

He drove them back to Gabriel’s house, unsure of where else to go. There were various Tupperware and casserole dishes on the front porch. They picked them up on the way in and left them in the kitchen, going back to Gabriel’s room to lay down.

“I just can’t believe that he’s gone,” Gabriel whispered, after a while. “He was so alive, you know? He wasn’t finished. He had plans for his future.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “God, I can’t even imagine what Dean’s going through right now. He’s probably blaming himself for what happened on top of all that grief.”

“Everything will be okay,” Sam said, even though he didn’t believe it. It was what you were supposed to say when things were bad, though. Gabe shook his head.

“I don’t think so. Not this time.”

~*~

Gabriel gave Dean his room when released from the hospital. He had a feeling that Dean wouldn’t be able to sleep alone in the bed that he had shared with Cas for so long. Dean had nodded his gratitude and locked himself away.

Dean hadn’t spoken since he found out about Cas. He had just laid in his bed until the doctor released him, staring at the ceiling with the occasional tears on his face. His eyes were dull and dark circles under them. He had lost weight because he was barely eating.

Sam didn’t want to think about how sad he had to have been. About how much it must have hurt to lose someone that he loved for so long, someone that he planned a long life with.

“How is he?” He asked Charlie at school one day.

“He just lays there in the dark and looks at their pictures or listens to Cas’s voice mails. He doesn’t eat, he barely sleeps, and he won’t talk to anyone. I’m worried about him.”

“Me, too.”

She squeezed his arm as the bell rang, then made her way down the hall.

Sam went to Gabriel’s after school to help him get ready for his finals. They were greeted him the sound of breaking glass that sent Gabriel running to Dean and Cas’s room.

Dean was on the floor, surrounded by glass shards and pictures from the mirror. His hands were bloody with cuts and his face wet with tears. His crutches were across that room.

“Are you okay?” Gabriel demanded, going to his side. “Did you fall?”

“I killed him,” Dean said, not moving. Gabriel paused.

“No, you didn’t. It was an accident Dean.”

“I should have told him no. I shouldn’t have let him get in the car. I may as well have put a gun to his head.”

Gabe struggled to find words, but couldn’t. What could he say? Cas was gone and Dean was still here, in almost pristine condition. He was going to blame himself no matter what.

“Sam, could you get his crutches?” He asked quietly. Sam did as he was told and Gabriel pulled Dean up. Sam cleaned up the glass while Gabriel took Dean to take care of his hands and any other cuts. Sam could hear their muffled voices through the wall.

When e was finished, he dumped the glass into the trash can and went to the living room. Gabriel came in a few minutes later, rubbing his forehead.

“Benny’s gonna take you home,” He said. “Dean’s really bad right now and–”

“You don’t have to explain.” Sam stood and hugged him. “Your family needs you. Just let me know if you need me.”

“Always.” Gabriel kissed him softly and rested their foreheads together. “I’ll call you. Maybe you can come over when things get better."

"Okay.”

Things with Dean didn’t get better. The worry that everyone felt was almost palpable. It hung heavy over the house like a fog that wouldn’t lift.

He had nightmares about the accident that ended with him screaming for Cas until someone woke him up. He only ate what Charlie and Jo force feed him. He barely left Gabriel’s room, even after he cast removed.

One day, Sam and Gabriel came in after school, they noticed that the door to Gabriel’s bedroom was open. Gabe looked in, then called Dean’s name. When he didn’t answer, Gabriel tried his cell phone. It was sitting on the nightstand in Dean and Castiel’s room.

Gabriel called around to see if anyone had seen him. No one had.

“I’m sure it’s okay,” He reassured Charlie over the phone. “All of his stuff is still here. His car and Colonel. He probably just went for a walk or something, the doctor said that he needed to do that.”

When he wasn’t home four hours after the sun had set, though, they knew that something was wrong. Gabriel and Benny went out looking for him, searching every street, every bar, and every place that Dean had ever mentioned, but they came home with no more knowledge than what they started with. They waited a few days to see if he would call from Kansas, but the phone never rang.

No one said it out loud, but everybody knew it true. Dean was gone.