The Eighth Deadly Sin (8/?)

The only sound in the room was the beeping of the machines.

Sam sat quietly beside Gabriel, waiting for him to say something, anything. But he just sat there, alternating between staring at the wall the boy on the hospital bed. Sam finally broke after a few hours.

“What are you going to tell him?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” Gabriel’s voice was rough, unused. He hadn’t spoken since they got the news and Sam didn’t push him. He just held his hand and let him grieve.

“Cas?” Sam and Gabe were both startled by Dean’s voice. He had been unconscious for four days and they were starting to lose hope. Gabriel pressed the call button just as Dean turned his head to look at them.

“Gabe? What’s going on?” He looked between them. “Where’s Cas?”

Gabriel was spared from having to answer by the doctor coming in. He went over Dean’s chart and explained his injuries in the simplest way possible.

“You’re very lucky,” He said, closing the chart and putting it back at the foot of the bed. Dean thanked him and he left.

Dean looked the ceiling, processing what the doctor had said. He turned his head to look at Gabe again, green eyes shining.

“Gabriel, where’s Cas?” He whispered. Sam had a feeling that he already knew, but needed to hear the affirmation. Gabe swallowed hard and squeezed Sam’s hand.

“Dean,” He said, his voice cracking horribly. “Cas didn't–”

“No,” Dean interrupted, shaking his head. “No. No.”

“He had major internal bleeding. There was nothing–”

“No! You’re trying to pull a joke and it’s not funny. Cas!” Dean screamed for him until his voice faded into heart wrenching sobs. Sam felt tears burning in his own eyes again while Dean cried.

“I need to see him,” Dean choked out around his tears. “Gabe, I have to….I need to….”

“Dean…” Gabriel wasn’t sure how to continue. How could he tell him without ruining him even more?

“What?”

“His parents reported him missing when they kicked him out to cover their asses. He was still in the system when they brought him in.”

“No,” Dean said again, slumping against the pillow, defeated tears falling from his eyes. “No. They can’t have him. They threw him away. They can’t take him from me now.”

“I know. I–” Gabe’s voice broke. He didn’t know what else to say. What could he possibly say?

“Fuck,” Dean whispered. “Fuck, Cas.”

He started crying again. Gabriel pulled Sam from the room, wanting to give him his privacy. Gabriel called everyone and let them know that Dean was awak. He told them to hold off on visiting for a while. The news about Cas had hit him hard, as was to be expected.

Benny and Jo showed up around six so that Gabriel and Sam could go home and rest. The group had been taking turns watching over Dean in case anything happened. Gabriel had been taking every other shift because he was the one that wanted to tell Dean about Cas. No one fought him for it.

“How is he?”

“About as good as to expected. Don’t push him.” Jo nodded and rubbed his arm, comfortingly.

“You head on back,” Benny said. “We got it for a few hours.”

Gabriel nodded and pulled Sam from the building to his car. When they got to the intersection, he turned right towards Sam’s neighborhood.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you home.”

“I want to stay with you!” Sam knew that Gabriel was hurting and he wanted to be there for him. Gabe shook his head.

“I just need to be alone for a while, okay?” The words were quiet and gentle but they hit Sam like he yelled them.

Sam didn’t want to be alone. He was hurting, too, after all. He had just gotten his friend back after years of not knowing what had happened to him, only to have him ripped away so quickly. He wanted Gabriel to hold him and comfort him and tell him that it was going to be okay.

“Alright,” He said, instead.

They spent the rest of the ride in silence. Gabriel stopped in front of his house and sighed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” He said without looking at Sam.

“Do you want to ride with us or are you going to meet us at the church?”

“I’ll meet you there. Goodnight.”

After a moment of deliberation, Sam leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Sleep tight.”

Sam went inside an up the stairs. He curled up in his bed and fought back more tears.

Cas’s funeral was the next day. Everyone in town was going to be there, offering condolences to the people that had tossed him out. Gabriel was the only racer going and that was only because he was Cas’s cousin. Sam hadn’t been back to the neighborhood he knew that all the racers were in mourning, too.

The next day was dark and heavy with rain. The church was full of people that Sam didn’t recognize and he knew that none of them knew who Castiel was. He found Gabriel outside waiting and went in with him.

They sat in the back of the church while the service went on. Cas’s parents sat on the front row, his mother was crying and his father sat with his back straight and head held high. Sam was disgusted by both of them.

Half way though the service, Gabriel stood and walked out. Sam followed him without a second thought.

“He would have hated that,” Gabriel said when they were in the parking lot. “That was a disgrace to his memory and they know that!”

Sam put his arms around Gabriel and Gabe’s complaints faded into sobs.

“He shouldn’t be dead,” He choked. “It’s not fair.”

“I know.”

“He wanted to be cremated. He said that he wanted to be able to go to the places that he hadn’t been yet. And they’re gonna put him in the ground. And I have to go home and either lie to everyone–lie to Dean–and say that this was nice or tell them the truth and hurt them more.”

Sam didn’t say anything. He just rubbed Gabriel’s back and let him cry. Sam couldn’t imagine how he felt. Cas was his little brother in every way that counted and now he was gone, stolen from in more ways than one.

“Let’s get out of here,” Sam suggested. Gabriel nodded and handed Sam his keys.

He drove them back to Gabriel’s house, unsure of where else to go. There were various Tupperware and casserole dishes on the front porch. They picked them up on the way in and left them in the kitchen, going back to Gabriel’s room to lay down.

“I just can’t believe that he’s gone,” Gabriel whispered, after a while. “He was so alive, you know? He wasn’t finished. He had plans for his future.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “God, I can’t even imagine what Dean’s going through right now. He’s probably blaming himself for what happened on top of all that grief.”

“Everything will be okay,” Sam said, even though he didn’t believe it. It was what you were supposed to say when things were bad, though. Gabe shook his head.

“I don’t think so. Not this time.”

~*~

Gabriel gave Dean his room when released from the hospital. He had a feeling that Dean wouldn’t be able to sleep alone in the bed that he had shared with Cas for so long. Dean had nodded his gratitude and locked himself away.

Dean hadn’t spoken since he found out about Cas. He had just laid in his bed until the doctor released him, staring at the ceiling with the occasional tears on his face. His eyes were dull and dark circles under them. He had lost weight because he was barely eating.

Sam didn’t want to think about how sad he had to have been. About how much it must have hurt to lose someone that he loved for so long, someone that he planned a long life with.

“How is he?” He asked Charlie at school one day.

“He just lays there in the dark and looks at their pictures or listens to Cas’s voice mails. He doesn’t eat, he barely sleeps, and he won’t talk to anyone. I’m worried about him.”

“Me, too.”

She squeezed his arm as the bell rang, then made her way down the hall.

Sam went to Gabriel’s after school to help him get ready for his finals. They were greeted him the sound of breaking glass that sent Gabriel running to Dean and Cas’s room.

Dean was on the floor, surrounded by glass shards and pictures from the mirror. His hands were bloody with cuts and his face wet with tears. His crutches were across that room.

“Are you okay?” Gabriel demanded, going to his side. “Did you fall?”

“I killed him,” Dean said, not moving. Gabriel paused.

“No, you didn’t. It was an accident Dean.”

“I should have told him no. I shouldn’t have let him get in the car. I may as well have put a gun to his head.”

Gabe struggled to find words, but couldn’t. What could he say? Cas was gone and Dean was still here, in almost pristine condition. He was going to blame himself no matter what.

“Sam, could you get his crutches?” He asked quietly. Sam did as he was told and Gabriel pulled Dean up. Sam cleaned up the glass while Gabriel took Dean to take care of his hands and any other cuts. Sam could hear their muffled voices through the wall.

When e was finished, he dumped the glass into the trash can and went to the living room. Gabriel came in a few minutes later, rubbing his forehead.

“Benny’s gonna take you home,” He said. “Dean’s really bad right now and–”

“You don’t have to explain.” Sam stood and hugged him. “Your family needs you. Just let me know if you need me.”

“Always.” Gabriel kissed him softly and rested their foreheads together. “I’ll call you. Maybe you can come over when things get better."

"Okay.”

Things with Dean didn’t get better. The worry that everyone felt was almost palpable. It hung heavy over the house like a fog that wouldn’t lift.

He had nightmares about the accident that ended with him screaming for Cas until someone woke him up. He only ate what Charlie and Jo force feed him. He barely left Gabriel’s room, even after he cast removed.

One day, Sam and Gabriel came in after school, they noticed that the door to Gabriel’s bedroom was open. Gabe looked in, then called Dean’s name. When he didn’t answer, Gabriel tried his cell phone. It was sitting on the nightstand in Dean and Castiel’s room.

Gabriel called around to see if anyone had seen him. No one had.

“I’m sure it’s okay,” He reassured Charlie over the phone. “All of his stuff is still here. His car and Colonel. He probably just went for a walk or something, the doctor said that he needed to do that.”

When he wasn’t home four hours after the sun had set, though, they knew that something was wrong. Gabriel and Benny went out looking for him, searching every street, every bar, and every place that Dean had ever mentioned, but they came home with no more knowledge than what they started with. They waited a few days to see if he would call from Kansas, but the phone never rang.

No one said it out loud, but everybody knew it true. Dean was gone.

Anonymous said:Dean comes out and finally dates Cas and gets his life in order. He starts working at a local garage. He keeps running into a man in a suit that he really starts to like. What he doesn’t know is Cas works for that man and likes him too. Dean woke up with a body on top of his and hair in his face. He smiled and squeezed Cas tightly before gently pushing him away and getting up. It had been a few months since Dean realized that he had feeling for his roommate. It didn't take long for him to make a move and they had been together for almost five months. His parents loved Cas, his friends thought he was cool, and Dean was happy. He turned on the coffee maker as he walked through the kitchen, then continued to the bathroom to shower. He was rinsing his hair when the door opened and Cas stepped in behind him. "Mornin'," Dean said. Cas grunted in response. He wasn't much of morning person before coffee. Dean smiled. "I'll have your coffee ready when you get out." Cas grumbled an stepped under the spray. By the time he was done, Dean was dressed and about to start breakfast. "Don't bother cooking for me," Cas said, trying do knot his tie. "I have to be in..." he checked his watch, "now." Dean undid the mess of fabric that Cas had made and tied it appropriately. "Thank you," Cas said, kissing him. "I'll be home at five." "Okay. Be careful." Cas disappeared out the door. Dean followed a few minutes later. When Cas encouraged him to fulfill his dream of opening a garage, he figured it would go under within a few months. But here he was almost nine months later, and he could barely keep up with all the business he had been getting. He was under his fifth and final car of the day when his phone rang. He rolled out and wiped his hands before answering. "Hey, Cas." "Dean," Cas sound exhausted. "I'm going to be late." "Again?" "I know. But this client...if we lose him my boss will make my life hell." "When will you be home?" "Before midnight. Hopefully." Dean sighed. "Hey, don't do that. You should go out. Hit a few bars." "You sure?" "Yeah. Have some fun for the both us." "I love you." It was first time that either of them had said it. Dean cursed himself for saying it over the phone. "I love you, too." He could almost feeling Cas smiling on the other end of the line. "I'll see you in a few hours." They hung up. Dean finished what he was doing on the car, then asked around to see if anyone wanted to get a drink. "Sorry, brother," Benny said, washing his hands. "Got baby classes. Jo'll kill me if I'm late again." "Moondoor meeting," Charlie shrugged. Garth had kid stuff, Victor had night classes. Dean resigned himself to drinking alone and headed into town. He hadn't been out since he opened the garage, too busy with work, then a new relationship. He went into a classy looking place and took a seat at the bar. "Beer. Tap is fine," he ordered. The bartender brought it over. Dean had forgotten how boring it was to go out alone when he couldn't pick anyone up. All he could do was drink and look around. "Are you here with someone?" A smooth accented voice said from beside him. The man was hot, well dressed. Dean wet his lips. "No." "Buy you a drink?" Dean considered it. It wasn't really cheating. And Cas had told him to have fun. He could flirt a little. "Yeah, why not?" The man made a motion and two more glasses were put in front of them, this time filled with whiskey. "What you're name?" The man asked, taking a seat. "Dean. Yours?" "Call me Crowley." They talked as they drank. Crowley was a lawyer at a well known firm. The information didn't ease Dean's guilt. "Do you want to get out of here?" Crowley asked, touching Dean's knee. "I have much better whiskey at my place." "I should get home, actually," Dean said. "I have to open in the morning." "Too bad." Crowley looked him over and licked his lips. "I'll see you around." Dean drove home feeling both guilty and giddy. He took a shower, washing any trace of what he'd done away, then climbed into bed. He was still awake when Cas got home. He heard the door close and the weary sigh that followed. Cas walked into their room as quietly as he could and began undressing in the dark. He practically fell into their bed and nestled against Dean, pressing a light kiss to his collarbone. Yeah, Dean was an ass, no doubt about it. ~*~ Cas worked late most nights, trying to meet all the demands of his boss and the client. He told Dean to go out if he wanted, but Dean still felt guilty about the thing with Crowley. After a week of sitting at home alone, he couldn't take it anymore. He went back to the bar. "Fancy meeting you here." Dean smiled when Crowley sat down next to him. "How are you?" "Good. You?" "Well." Crowley told Dean about the latest case he working on and what a pain the ass the client was. "Why not just let him go?" Dean asked. "Money's too good. My assistants have been working nonstop to get him off while I've been here, placating him as best I can." "I see." Dean said. Crowley smiled a little. "Alright. You've heard me complain enough. Your turn." They talked a while longer before Dean noticed the time. He finished his drink and told Crowley he had to go, but that he would be back the next day. And he was. And he was there the next night and the next. In just a few weeks, he and Crowley knew each very well and had their own private corner where they sat. They talked, they drank, then Dean went home and pretended that he had been waiting for Cas. He didn't even realize that had fallen for Crowley until the night the other man tried to kiss him. Dean almost let him, but he thought of Cas. Cas who loved him, who worked these late hours to cover thereby for their apartment so Dean could pay for the garage. Who was probably dead tired behind his desk while Dean was practically on a date. "I can't," He said, quietly, turning away. Crowley sighed. "Of course." "It's not you." "Right." "It's really not. I–I'm a dick and I need to go home before I do something very bad." Crowley put the pieces together then. "I think you already have, although I don't have room to talk. I've been leading on my best assistant while waiting around for you." "You should ask him out. He'd be a lucky guy." "Right," Crowley said again. "I'm sorry. If things were different–" "Just go." Dean drove home, feeling worse than he ever had. He had to tell Cas what he'd done. He couldn't let this go on without letting him know. Cas's car was already in the parking when he got there. He cursed and got out of his car, trying to form what he wanted to say. Cas was just getting out of the shower when he walked in. He smiled and it broke Dean's heart. "Hello, Dean," He said, coming forward. He hugged him and sighed. "I feel like I haven't seen you in so long." "Cas," Dean said, wrapping his arms. "We need to talk." "Oh," Cas's face fell. "Okay." They sat down on the couch and Dean wet his lips, unsure how to start. "Dean you're scaring me." "I've been seeing someone else." Cas froze. Dean could almost hear his heart break. "Oh," Cas whispered. "I understand." "Cas–" "I'm surprised it took you this long, really, to find someone better than me." "Cas, just let me–" "It's okay, Dean. Like I said, I understand. I...I can't move out yet, but I can try to find somewhere. Just give me some time." "Cas, please listen to me," Dean said taking his hands. "It's not like that. I love you so much, okay. I would never ever hurt you like that. I meet him at a bar and we've just been talking. That's all. He tried to kiss me and I stopped it. Cas, I swear I would never do that." Cas just stared at him for a long time. There were tears on his face and Dean wiped them away. "Say something, baby." "I've been doing the same thing with my boss," Castiel whispered. "I just never considered it cheating, but I like him, Dean. And I've thought about it. I've fantasized about it." "We're both pretty fucked up, then, huh?" Castiel's laugh was broken. "Yeah, I guess we are." Dean kissed him and Cas wrapped his arms around his neck. They made out for a few minutes before Cas pulled away and just hugged him. "I was so scared that you were leaving me," He said. "I don't know if I could take that." "I'm not going anywhere," Dean promised. "Crowley didn't mean anything compared to you." Castiel sat back, eyes wide. "Crowley?" "Yeah. That was his name. At least the one he gave me." "British, scruffy, always in a suit?" "Yes." "Dean, that's my boss." "You're joking." Cas started laughing. "Wow." "We should do him," Cas said, when he finally calmed down. "What?" "We both want him. He wants us. Let's invite him over." "You're serious?" "Yes." He kissed Dean. "Come to my office after you close tomorrow." "Okay. If that's what you want." "It is. But right now I want you to take me to bed." Dean scooped him up and carried him to the bedroom without another word. The next day, Dean was sore and tired from his night with Cas. Just when he would think that they were done, Cas would pull him in again. He had scratches all down his back, his hair hurt from being pulled, his neck, chest, and thighs were covered in bite marks, but damn if it wasn't the best sex he and Cas had had since they got together. Dean couldn't focus all day and eventually just went into his office to do paperwork. He felt more comfortable screwing up a few numbers that Charlie would double check then work on a car a kid would be in. Dean was nervous as he drove to Cas's building. What if Crowley thought that they were freaks? What if they did it and Cas liked Crowley more than he thought? What if Dean like him more than he thought? He was still debating telling Cas to call it off and just go home when he walked in. He didn't bother signing in and went straight to Cas's desk. Cas wasn't there but his briefcase was put together. Everyone else was working or leaving, barley sparing Dean a glance. He took a seat in Cas's chair and waited. A few minutes later, he heard his voice in conversation with Crowley's. He stood, his hands shaking a little. Cas smiled when he saw him. "Mr. Crowley, this is my boyfriend Dean. I believe you've met." "Yes we have," Crowley answered, not even looking shocked. "Hello, Dean." "Crowley." "We were wondering if you wanted to come home with us," Castiel said, not even trying for subtlety. Crowley raised an eyebrow. "We'd both it very much." "Well, how could I say no to such an invitation," The other man said with smile that made Dean's stomach tighten with want. "I'll follow you." They were barely in the apartment before they were all on each other. They took turns kissing and removing each others clothes. They tripped and fumbled their way to the bedroom, falling in a tangle of limbs and lips. Whatever he was expecting, what they did wasn't it. Crowley was practiced in group sex and knew exactly what he was doing. They went in different combinations and positions. It was awesome. Dean collapsed onto the mattress, worn out. Castiel laid next to him, smiling. He rolled and laid his head on Crowley's chest, refusing to let him leaving. He tangled the fingers of one hand in Cas's hair, using the other to hold his cigarette. "That was awesome," Dean said, breaking the silence. "Very," Castiel agreed, pressing a kiss to Crowley's neck. He yawned and settled against him. Dean rolled and pressed against his back, every muscle he had protesting the moves. Crowley put the cigarette out and pulled Cas closer, moving so that he could lay a hand on Dean's arm. They didn't know how this would work. They would be doing this again, no doubt, but they didn't know what they would be. Did Crowley want a permanent place in their lives? Did they want him there permanently? How would this affect Castiel's job. Dean pressed his forehead against Castiel's back, too tired to worry about the answer right now. Let whatever happened happen, they would get through it together.

Sequel to The Last Time. TS Verse.

Castiel stared out the window of his new apartment, feeling incredibly alone.

He loved the building and his new home. He loved the neighbourhood, he even liked his neighbors. But when he signed his lease, he had been imagning sharing the place with Dean.

His phone rang and Dean’s face appeared on the screen. He let it go to voicemail.

He remembered the first time Dean came to him. They were juniors in college, Castiel had been in love with his best friend for years, and one night Dean kissed him. Castiel had been elated. Dean had wanted him, had given him his first kiss, his first hickies, had undressed him and taken everything. Then he told Castiel that it was just between them.

Since that day, Castiel had been allowing Dean to break his heart, to use him and his body because he needed Dean to want him. For five years his world revolved around him while Dean never gave him the time of day. Dean was everything and Castiel was nothing.

His phone rang again and Castiel turned it off. If he spoke to Dean, he would give in. He fall back into the rutine of being a dirty little secret.

He took a shower, reveling in the heat and pressure of the water. His old apartment had awful water pressure and the water got cold after five minutes. His old apartment was awful all around. Dean would have loved this place.

Castiel turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist. He went to his bedroom and opened the drawer he’d put his t-shirts in. Dean’s old college football shirt was on top of the others. Castiel picked up and put it to his nose. His scent lingered in the fabric.

He put the shirt on and curled up on his bed, suddenly cold. Tears gathered in his eyes and ran down his face.

He was alone. He had told Dean to choose and he chose Lisa. Of course he chose Lisa. She was beautiful and he didn’t have to hide her. Castiel was an easy lay that got too clingy and had lost his appeal.

He wondered if Dean missed him or if he was just calling because he felt bad. Maybe he wanted his things back. Castiel didn’t know if he could do that. He didn’t know if he could let go of all those years.

Nights helping Dean study for tests and never being invited to the celebrations after he passed. Days spents waiting for him to call or text. All the times that he needed someone and Dean was too busy. Spending three hours sitting at resturant that he hated, waiting Dean to show or text him or call to say that he was on his way or that he was sorry.

But he wasn’t sorry. He never loved Castiel and he never would. Cas was just fooling himself to think that he did.

Dean liked him, yes. Cared about him enough to sit with him at the hospital when his brother was in a car accident and Castiel was inconsoleable. They were friends, Dean was Castiel’s best and only friend, but that was all they were. Castiel never stood a chance.

Castiel rolled over and wrapped his arms around his spare pilliow. The pillow that would have been Dean’s if he’d ever spent the night. He closed his eyes and wished for sleep.

The days passed slowly. Even the books and regular patrons at the library couldn’t bring Castiel out of his dull haze.

He had to clear out his voicemail once a day because Dean kept calling. He’d even called Gabriel to check on him. Castiel didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, though. He wanted to be alone. Eventually, he knew he’d have to answer.

He was sitting on his couch, reading, when he finally faced it. It was the end of his first week in his new place and celebrating his own mini-victory of not giving in to Dean. Dean called then, as if Castiel’s own traitorous thought brought him foreward. He picked up his phone, thumb hovering over the ignore button.

Castiel took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and answered.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel said, hoping his voice didn’t shake.

“Cas,” Dean sounded releived. “Jesus, I didn’t know where you were. Are you okay?”

No. “I’m fine.”

“Cas, I need to talk to you. I need to see you.” Castiel bit his lip.

Meeting was a bad idea. He couldn’t say no to Dean, he’d never been able. But he missed him. He missed him so much it hurt. He just needed to see him one more time.

“I can meet you for coffee.”

“Awesome. When and where?”

They made plans to meet the next day at a small cafe near the library where Castiel worked. Castiel hung up before Dean could say anything else. He took a deep breath and fought back the tears he felt building up.

He was stronger than that. He had to be.

Taylor songs I listened to/were requested: Last Kiss, Sad Beautiful Tragic, My cure, the moment i knew, the story of us, if this was a movie, teardrops on my guitar, perfectly good heart

(Previous) (Next)

We'll Be Miles Apart (Cas's First 10)

Dean stared at the ceiling, fingers tapping to the beat of the song he was listening to. He closed his eyes and began mouthing the words, losing himself in it.

He jumped when a sudden weight landed on top of him. His eyes snapped open to see Castiel straddling his hips. He laughed when Dean glarred at him.

“You think that’s funny?” Dean demanded, tickling Castiel’s sides. The younger boy laughed and Dean flipped them over, boxing him in so he couldn’t escape.

“Stop!” Cas gasped, tears running down his face. Dean kissed them away, then kissed Cas to help him calm down.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” They kissed again, then brushed their noses together.

“What are you doing here?” Dean asked. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but isn’t Gabe here?”

“I got this,” Castiel pushed Dean off of him and crawled to the edge of the bed. Dean licked his lips at the view when he leaned over to get his bag from the floor.

He took out a manila envelope and laid it between them. The seal of Columbia University was brazened on it.

“Did you get in?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know. I can’t open it.”

“Cas, this is your dream school.”

“I know.”

“So, open it!” Castiel picked up the letter, hands shaking. He stared at for a long time, then shook his head.

“I can’t. They said no, I just know it.”

“Give me that, you baby.” Dean took the letter from him and tore it open. He took out the papers and started reading.

“Dear Mr. Shurley,” He said, looking up at Cas. His eyes were tightly closed. “We are please to inform you that-”

“I got in?” Castiel whispered.

“You got in!” Dean dropped the letter and hugged Cas. He gasped when his boyfriend started sqeeuzing the life out of him.

“I got in!”

“I’m so proud of you, Cas,” Dean said. For as long as he could remember, Cas had dreamed of going to the same college tht his dad had attended. He had memroblia decorating his room, he looked at the website every week, he had stressed over his appilication letter for weeks. Now all of his work had paid off and Dean was the first person that he shaired it with.

“I can’t believe I got in. I have to go tell my dad.” He kissed Dean, hard and deep, then ran out the door. Dean smiled and laid back down.

“Cas sure left in a hurry,” Mary said, when he came downstairs.

“He got into Columbia. He had to go tell everyone.”

“Oh, honey. Are you okay?” Dean tilted his head.

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Columbia’s a long ways away.” Dean sighed.

“I know. And it sucks, but it’s his dream, Mom. I can handle it for him.” Mary smiled and kissed his forehead.

“Then, I’m very happy for him.”

Dean wasn’t so lucky. Almost all of his letters were rejections.

He acted like it didn’t bother him, and it didn’t really. He had a secure football scholarship at the same college Gabe went to and had already made plans to room with him. That didn’t mean he didn’t have high hopes everytime he got a letter.

Cas was with him through every one, running a comforting hand over his back.

“I can’t believe you’re going to New York,” Dean said one night when they were laying in Castiel’s bed. Chuck was taking him over spring break to look around the campus and get a feel for the city.

“I just wish you could go,” Cas responded, tugging Dean’s shirt lightly. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll be here when you get back. It’s only a few days.”

“Yeah,” Cas said, laying his head against his chest. “Only a few days.”

~*~

Dean rode with Becky to the airport when she went to pick Cas and Chuck up.

He had gone camping with John and Sam like he always did on break, but damn did he miss Cas. He wasn’t used to being away from him for so long, not even when they were sick.

“How are you doing, Dean?” She asked, when they were inside, waiting.

“I’m good.”

“I mean, with this. Cas leaving.”

“I’m….It’s his dream school. I’m not not gonna keep him from that, no matter how much I’ll miss him.”

“You’re a good guy, Dean.” Becky said.

“Thanks.”

“We’re having a get together for him in few weeks. Some of Chuck’s college friends are going to come and give him some advice. You should come.”

“We’ll see.”

People started coming in then. Dean spotted Castiel at the same time Cas saw him. He ran right passed the baggage claim to him.

“I missed you,” He whispered, against Dean’s neck. Dean chuckled.

“You gone for five days.” He held Cas tighter. “I missed you, too.”

Chuck talked about the trip the whole way home. Castiel sat quietly in the back, holding tightly to Dean’s hand.

They got at Dean’s house and went straight to his bedroom. Castiel wrapped himself in Dean’s blankets and nestled against him, kissing all over his face and neck. Dean pulled his chin up to kiss his lips.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I just want to be close to you.” They kissed again and Castiel pushed Dean’s over shirt off his shoulders.

Dean was glad he’d had the foresight to lock the door.

~*~

As Dean had guessed, the party the Shurley’s had for Cas was a boring affair of guys Chuck’s age talking about their good old days and their wives drinking. Dean wished he could have a drink.

The more people that talked to Castiel, the more uncomfortable he looked. When Chuck gave a speech about how excited and proud he was that his son was following in his footsteps, Castiel started shaking lightly. Dean was about to ask of he was okay when Chuck asked if there was anything he wanted to say.

Castiel stood and looked at all of them.

“Thank you all for coming but I’m not going to Columbia.” He ran from the room, leaving everyone in a shocked silence. Dean was the first to move.

“I’ll go talk to him. Just stay here.” Chuck and Becky nodded.

Dean walked up the stairs and knocked on Cas’s door. He pushed it open and closed it again before turning to look at Cas. He was curled up under his blankets in the dark, crying. Dean sat next to him.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Cas,” Dean tugged the blanket back and wiped Castiel face. “Talk to me.”

“Over one thousand miles.”

“What?”

“That’s the distance between here and New York. Over a thousand miles, Dean. Everyone keeps telling me that I’m going to meet all these amazing people and do these amzing things and all I can think about is that I’ll be a thousand miles from the only thing I care about.” Dean smiled sadly.

“Oh, baby.”

“I thought I was going die when we were apart for five days. How could handle years without you?”

“It won’t be years,” Dean said. “It will be months. And we’ll talk everyday. We can do this.”

“I can’t lose you,” Cas whispered. “I can’t.”

“You won’t.” Dean looked into his watery eyes seriously. “You are it for me. I’ll never feel this way again. You’re my best friend, you’re everything.”

“I love you, Dean.”

“I love you, too.” Dean pulled him into a hug. “That’s why you to go. You’ve been dreaming about Columbia since we were kids. I want you to go.”

Castiel didn’t say anything. He just burrowed into Dean’s chest. Dean bit his lip.

“Cas?”

“What?”

“I got a letter from MIT.” Castiel sat back, eyes wide.

“I didn’t know you applied.”

“I had some extra cash. I thought what the hell?”

“Well?”

“I haven’t opened it.”

“Dean!” Castiel hit him.

“Hey! Knock it off.” Dean caught his wrist.

“It’s MIT!”

“I know. Why would MIT want me? I just did it as a joke on myself.”

“Dean. You are smart. You’re so, so smart. If they don’t want you they’re crazy.” Dean shook his head.

“Will you open it with me?”

“Of course.”

Dean snuck him out the back door and they ran across the street. They found themselves in the same position that they were in when Castiel got his letter. Dean took a breath and opened it.

His expression didn’t change as his eyes flitted over the words. He folded it when he was done and put it back in the envelope.

“Well?”

“They want me to play football,” Dean said, fighting a smile. Castiel screamed. Literally.

“I told you,” He said, hugging Dean. “I told you.”

Dean squeezed him and kissed his neck. John appeared at the door, looking shocked.

“What the hell are you two doing?”

“Dean’s going to MIT!” John stared at his son.

“Is that true?”

“I got in.” He broke into a smile and pulled Dean up into a hug.

“Good job, son.”

Dean walked Castiel back to his house, holding him down so he wouldn’t float away with elation. Everyone looked up when they came in.

“I’m going to Columbia,” Cas said.

“I’m going to MIT.”

Everyone clapped and congratulated them. They started telling them how incredible college was and everything that they were going to be able to do. Dean pulled Castiel closer, kissing his temple.

They could make this work.

(Part 9) (Part 11)

I'm Coming Home

Dean was too excited to sleep the night before their unit was sent home, he couldn’t sleep on the plane either. He still hated flying, even if he had been doing it for close to ten years.

He was never happier to be on the ground and in Kansas. He rushed around everyone else, needing to get to his family. It had been a long deployment and he’d mostly forgotten what they looked like.

“Dean!” Dean dropped his bag and opened his arms as Castiel ran to him. At the last second he jumped and wrapped his all of his limbs around Dean. He fell, unbalance, hiding his face in Cas’s neck.

“Dean,” Cas whispered, trying to wrap his fingers in hair that wasn’t there. “My Dean.”

“I missed you so much, baby,” Dean said, his voice cracking. He’d forgotten how good Cas’s body felt in his arms. How soft his hair was, how good he smelled, and, oh, god, how it felt to kiss him. Cas’s mouth was his heaven.

“I can’t wait to get you home,” Cas whispered. “Don’t make any plans for tomorrow.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

They stood and Dean grabbed his bag. He tangled his fingers with Cas’s as the walked to where his family was gathered. Cas took his bag as he hugged them all, smiling uncontrollably.

Dean hugged Mary first, because he needed to. He always felt like a little boy again when he saw her in the airport. He just wanted to hide in his mothers arms and never be taken out of them.

“It’s good to have you home, sweetie,” She said, rubbing his back. Dean made a choked off little noise and held her closer. “It’s alright, honey.”

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there, but eventually he stepped back, wiping his eyes.

“I missed you, Mom.”

“I missed you, too.”

He turned to his dad and smiled tearfully.

“Hey, Son,” John said, pulling him in. Their hug was brief, as they always were, but it was enough.

“Thanks for the letter, Dad,” Dean said, so that only they could hear. “It meant a lot.”

“I love you, kid.”

“I love you, too.”

Sam was still in California, neck deep in finals and papers and other college stuff. Dean would call him later. All he wanted to do now was go home, take a shower and sleep in his own bed.

Colonel attacked as soon as the door opened, knocking Dean to the ground and smothering him in slobber. Dean hugged the dog close, talking to him a little before pushing him off.

Dean always forgot how nice it was to have a shower where the water stayed hot and the pressure was perfect. And where his hot fiancé could climb in behind him.

He traced over the planes of Cas’s body with his fingertips, then with his mouth. He had missed this man so much more than he could ever say. He wrapped his arms around Cas and tangled his fingers in his hair. The first sob physical hurt when it tore out of his throat.

“It’s alright, Dean. Let it out.”

Castiel was so good. He knew exactly how to handle Dean when he was like this, when the weight of everything that he’d done and everything that he’d missed crashed down on him at once.

He held Dean tighter as he reached back to turn off the water. He dried Dean as best he could in his condition and tucked him into their bed.

“Just try to get some rest, okay?” Cas said, quietly. “I love you.” He kissed Dean’s forehead and let Colonel in. The dog nuzzled with him on the bed while Cas slipped out the door, knowing that Dean didn’t want him to see that.

Dean woke up a few hours later, groggy and confused until he remembered where he was. He got up and scratch Colonel, who was sleeping soundly, behind his ears and went to find Cas. He was in the living room, reading, but looked up when Dean came in.

“How are you doing?” Cas asked, closing the book and setting it aside.

“Better,” Dean answered, stretching out and laying his head in his lap. “What’re you reading?”

“Game of Thrones.” Dean grinned. “Shut up.”

“I missed you, so much, Cas. I just…I just love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

“I’m not going back.” Cas’s eyes widened.

“Dean-”

“I’m not. I was in for ten years, and I’m ready to settle down.” Dean sat up and took Cas’s hands. “I want to marry you and have kids and not miss a minute of it. I want to be here for Sam’s graduation. I want to work with Dad and Bobby in the garage and help Mom out with stuff. I want to be here.”

“If this is really what you want…”

“It is.”

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and kissed him. Dean pushed him back against the couch as the kiss deepened, fighting with his clothes, unable to get them off fast enough. Neither of them lasted long, it had been months and months since they had been together. Dean shifted back when they were done, and let out a noise.

“I need a cigarette.” Cas smiled at him, crawling into his lap.

“You may want to hold off on that, we’re no where near done.”

(Part 1)

I Love You to the Moon and Back (Chapter 6)

Castiel knelled in front of the grave stone and brushed away the leaves and grass clipping that had gathered on it. There were flowers there that he didn’t buy, Crowley must have visited when he was in town.

“Hi, baby,” He said, with a teary smile. “I just wanted to coome and say goodbye. I might not be back for a while.

“I met someone. He’s really wonderful. I know that you would like him. His name is Dean and I’m going to be traveling with him. We’re going to different states and if I can get him on a plane we’re going to Europe.

“I just wanted to let you know that I will never love anyone more than I love you. I’ll never forget you, Samandriel. You will always be the best thing that ever happened to me. But….but you’re not here anymore.

“I have to go now. I’ll think of you every day. I love you.”

Castiel kissed the stone and stood. He brushed the grass off of his knees and walked to where Dean was standing nearby.

“Ready to go?” He asked. Dean smiled.

“You go ahead. I’ll meet you at the car,” He kissed Castiel’s cheek and gave him a light push. When he was gone, Dean walked to the grave where Castiel just was and laid his hand on the cool stone.

“I’ll take care of your dad, kiddo. You can rest easy.”

  Castiel’s first impression of Dean’s family was they were a a little rough around the edges.

His uncle Bobby owned a salvage yard and was surly and scruffy. But he accepted Castiel without a second thought.

Bobby’s wife, Ellen, owned a bar in town, and she was a little slower to come around. She asked Castiel a million questions about he and Dean met, what he did for a living, his family, everything that she could think of. By the end of the week, Castiel was one of them.

Anna was a little jealous that Castiel got the guy, but she was happy that Castiel was getting better. Castiel didn’t bother introducing Dean to the rest of his family, he wasn’t close to any of them anymore.

  Castiel did convince Dean get on a plane, only after he promised to help Dean join the mile high club.

Castiel had been to Europe once on a book tour and was excited to show Dean all of his favorite places.

They took pictures at Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower, and all the other cliche monuments. Dean finished the roll of film by taking pictures of Castiel in various stages of undress. Castiel snuck one of Dean sleeping, the white hotel room sheets wrapped around him and the early morning sun making his tan skin glow.

Castiel loved waking up to Dean, whether he was still asleep, or watching Castiel sleep, or if he woke Castiel up by burrowing up the sheets and using his mouth.

He loved having someone else’s hands on him. Someone taking care of him, healing the hole in his heart. They quickly became the most important things in each other’s lives. They stopped going to group, finding enough comfort in one another.

Christmas came around faster than Castiel expected. He thought that it would be a bad day, facing the first holiday season without his baby, but he was actually okay. Dean held him while he cried for the first little while, but he calmed down after a while. Dean made him lunch and they exchanged gifts under the tree.

Castiel got Dean a new tool set for the garage and a toothbrush. Dean held up the latter with a confused expression.

“I want you to move in. You practically live here anyway.” Dean leaned in and kissed him.

“I’d love to. Open yours.”

Dean had bought Castiel a typewriter, because he always talking about writing a book on one, along with plenty of ink and paper. Castiel was afraid to ask how much it cost.

“I love it, Dean. Thank you.” He moved to kissed him and Dean held up a hand.

“Wait, there’s one more.”

He placed a box in Castiel’s hand. There was only one thing that could fit in a box that small. He unwrapped and opened it, heart pounding. The silver ring inside was beautiful.

“You don’t have to say anything now. I just want you to know that it’s on the table, whenever you’re ready.”

Castiel lunged at him, making Dean fall backwards.

The living room floor wasn’t the best place to make love, but the sore muscles were definitely worth it.

  Castiel’s new book came out in June. It reached the number one spot in a week.

He got thousands of letters asking about Jensen and Misha. Were they real? Was Jensen really as perfect as Castiel had written him? Would he write a sequel? They were all answered ‘yes.’ But the most popular question was the one he didn’t answer.

Who do to the intials S.A.N and S.K.W. on his dedication page stand for and why does he owe them everything?

Dean was the first person to the read the book after Crowley edited it. He loved it and the praise made Castiel soar.

Dean went with him on the book tour, mostly because neither of them wanted to be apart. He usually went to explore the cities while Castiel did reading and signings and meet and greets. One day, he went with him and held his hand and talked to people waiting in line.

The became a popular couple among the reading community. Dean was a little weirded out when people started writing more fan fiction about them than Jensen and Misha.

“Dean,” Castiel said one night as they laid in bed together.

“Yeah, baby?” He answered sleepily.

“Thank you for putting me back together.”

He couldn’t see it in the dark, but he could hear the smile in his voice when he responded.

“Thanks for letting me be your missing piece.”

(Previous)

super-mum-locked requested: “put it down, please!”

Dean was drunk. Very drunk.

He lifted the bottle in his hand to his lips, only to find it empty.

With a groan, he stood up and stumbled to the kitchen to get a beer, now that all the whiskey was gone.

“Dean?” He looked toward the stairs where the soft voice had come from. Cas stood there, looking almost scared. “Please, come to bed.”

“Later,” Dean grunted, twisting the top off of the bottle.

“Dean, please-”

“Later,” Dean yelled, throwing the top at Castiel. He laughed when Castiel flinched and went back to the living room. He passed out on the couch, beer half empty. Again.

Castiel took the bottle from his hands and covered him with a thin quilt. He pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and went back upstairs to sleep alone.

This had been a regular occurance in their house since Dean’s father died. Dean didn’t know how to handle his emotions, so he drank them away until he was too numb to move. Some nights he didn’t even come home, but he’d stumble in the next morning, stinking of booze, perfume, and sex.

Castiel knew that he should put a stop to it, make Dean face his issues, but the verbal abuse that Dean threw at him when he brought it up frightened him.

“Put it down, please,” Cas whispered one night, when Dean reached for his fourth beer. Castiel had made Dean’s favorite dinner, hoping to please him enough that Dean wouldn’t need to drink. Dean made a face at him.

“I’m a grown ass man, Cas. I can have a beer if I want one.” He opened the bottle and Cas snatched it away, moving to the sink, out of Dean’s reach.

“That’s my last one Castiel, don’t you dare.” Cas tilted the bottle up and poured the liquid down the drain. Dean turned a frightening shade of red and grabbed Castiel’s wrist tight in his hand.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” He yelled. Cas struggled against the painful grip on his wrists and Dean shoved him away. Right in the wall with Castiel favorite painting hanging there.

Cas’s cry of pain snapped Dean out of his angry haze. He looked at his husband, crumpled on the ground, surrounded by glass, his blood ruining the peice of art he’d treasured.

“Cas, I-” Castiel flinched away from him, pressing into the wall.

“Get out,” He whispered. Dean’s eyes widened.

“Cas-”

“Get out!” Dean stumbled back and fled from the house. Castiel curled in on himself and cried.

He fumbled to stand, cutting his hands and kness a few times, before managing to get up the stairs to their bedroom. His bedroom. Dean hadn’t slept in their bed for so long….

His tears didn’t slow as he packed his dufflebag, taking one of Dean’s shirts because he coldn’t resist.

He looked around the room and sighed. This room where he and Dean used to spend hours making love on the weekends, the kitchen where Dean taught him how to cook, the living room where they made out like teenagers instead of watching the movies they had rented. And now his whole life was packed into one tiny bag.

He opened his bedside drawer and took out the stationary pad he had there before going back to the kitchen.

~*~*~

Dean was completely sober when arrived home.

He had bought Cas flowers, not because he hoped that they would fix things, but that they would be a step in the right direction. He also had a flyer for a local AA group.

“Cas?” He called. No reply. He walked into the kitchen and the flowers fell from his hands.

On the table, Cas’s wedding ring held down a note. Dean picked it up with shaking hands, tears slipping down his face. He sat down, looking at the note Cas had written. The letters were shaky, as if Cas had been shaking as badly as he was now.

Dean,

I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t watch you do this to yourself and I can’t take the abuse and the cheating. Not again. Not from you.

I love you, so much, but this is not the man I married. I know that he’s in there, but you keep killing him more and more each day.

You need to get help, Dean. And until you do, I can’t be with you. I just can’t

Please call me when you are my husband again. I want to come home

Dean dropped the note and, for the first time in years, let himself cry.

Six Months Later

Dean walked out of the rehab facility feeling better than he had in years.

He expected Sam to be there waiting for him with balloons or some shit. What he got was so much better.

Castiel threw his arms around Dean’s neck with so much force they both went tumbling to the ground.

“Dean,” He was whispering. “My Dean.”

“Cas,” Dean pulled back and wiped his husband’s tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you.”

“You’re better now. You can work on earning my forgiveness later,” Cas said. “Do you have my ring?”

Dean pulled his amulet off and undid the clasp, allowing Cas’s wedding band to slid into palm.

Cas put it back on and wrapped his arms around Dean again, saying how much he loved him and how he had missed him.

“Let’s go home,” Cas said, finally bending his head down to kiss Dean. Dean nodded.

“Let’s go home.”

Anon asked: "Don’t listen to them. Don’t you EVER listen to them." Or "Please come get me" Destiel

Dean dropped his pen and rubbed his fingers.

  He had been working on his essay for almost three hours and only had two paragraphs down and more paper balls around him than he could count.

  He stood up and stretched, sighing as his back popped. That was nice. He looked out the window and saw his neighbor closing his bedroom door.

  Dean wouldn't call them friends, but Cas was nice to talk to when things got boring. He went to a Catholic school uptown so Dean only saw him every now and then.

  Dean waited until Cas had turned his way and waved, catching the other boy's attention.

  Cas opened his window and Dean opened his.

  "Hello, Dean."

  "Hey, Cas. What's up?" The other boy sighed.

  "My parents are making me go to a party I was invited to."

  "Making you?"

  "I don't really go to parties, but they think it's rude if I say no,” Cas shrugged. “I figure I can go for a little while, then call and tell them I don’t feel well.”

  “Have fun,” Cas made a face at him and closed his window. Dean settled back down at his desk and tried to come up with something else to say about the Kansas-Nebraska Act.

  Dean was startled awake by his phone buzzing beside him. He peeled his cheek from his history book and check the caller ID and the time. 9:30.

  “Cas?”

  “Please, come get me,” His neighbour’s voice came through the speaker, small and broken.

All The Things I Thought I Knew (Cas's Firsts 5)

Thank you to ones who helped me figure out what these losers should fight about. This one’s for all of you.

It had started slowly. Just picking on each other here and there. Poking and prodding until the other got mad. It wasn’t a big deal.

They argued for an hour because Cas said that he would rather have cake than pie. Dean called him stupid and Castiel walked home. Dean called later and they made up.

A few weeks later, they were sitting in the Shurley’s living room, Dean doing homework at the coffee table, Cas (who had a free period at the end of the day and was already done) was flipping through TV channels.

“Could you stop?” Dean asked after a few minutes.

“What?” "Changing the damn channel every five minutes. Just pick something!” Castiel turned the TV off and sat the remote on the table next to him.

“Oh, don’t act like that,” Dean snapped. “If I was doing it, you’d be pissed off, too.”

“Just do your homework, Dean.” They glared at each other for a moment before Dean turned back to his notebook.

When he was done, Dean crawled onto the couch and apologized. They made out on the couch until Chuck and Becky got home and caught them. They both blushed all through dinner.

Things didn’t get better. Dean would cancel dates out of the blue, claiming it was for work or family stuff. Castiel believed him. Dean would never lie to him.

Then one night when Dean was supposed to be at work, Gabriel took Castiel out to get burgers and Starbucks. They were walking to the coffee shop when Gabe elbowed Cas sharply in the gut.

“Isn’t that Dean?” Cas looked up and sure enough, Dean Winchester was sitting in Starbucks with some other football players and cheerleaders. Castiel just stared, wide eyed, reacting only when Gabriel shoved his hand into Castiel’s jacket pocket.

The Mess You Made (Chapter 2: Who Do You Think You Are)

Jess’s head snapped up from where she was undoing the straps on her heels.

“Yeah. Sammy, I‒” Sam cut Dean off.

“Give me one good reason not to hang up right now,” Sam said, cutting him off. Dean sighed.

“I don’t have one, Sam,” He said. “Just…before you hang up. I’m in town. I’m back. I’d really like to see you.”

“Do you think anyone in town is going to let you in? After what you did?” Lawrence was small and the Winchester’s and the Shurley’s were both well known families. Everyone knew what Dean had done to Cas because no one could keep a secret.

“There’s a joint just outside the limits. Will you just meet me there? Please?”

“Tomorrow. Two o’clock.” Sam hung up and threw his phone. “Son of a bitch!”

Jess laid a hand on his arm and pulled him to the bed, sitting him down gently.

“He’s back in town, Jess. It’s been three years and he just shows up. Just when Cas was finally better…”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m meeting him tomorrow.” Sam ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve gotta call Cas.”

“No!”

“Jess, if I don’t call him and he finds out Dean’s here, what do you think he’s going to do? I have to tell him now.” Sam retrieved his phone from the floor and dialed Cas’s number. He answered with a laugh on his lips.

“Sam? Stop, I’m on the phone,” Sam groaned internally. He was about to ruin everything for Cas.

“Cas. He called.” He heard an intake of breath, then nothing.

“When?” Cas whispered, after a long silence.

“A few minutes ago. He’s in town. I’m having lunch‒”

“I’m going.”

“Cas‒”

“He ruined my life, Sam!” Cas said. “He ruined me. I’m going, whether you like it or not. I have that right.” Sam sighed.

“I know you do, Cas. But, just give me tomorrow, okay. Let me talk to him first.”

“Sam, I‒Fine. Okay. Just let me know what he says, okay?”

“Of course, Cas.” They hung up, but Sam didn’t feel any better.

The next day, he drove to the place Dean instructed him to with a feeling of dread in stomach. The Impala was there, and Sam ran his fingers over her as he walked by.

Look After You

Dean Winchester pulled his jacket tighter around his shoulders as he walked to his boyfriends house. Cas had called him earlier that day and asked him to come over. No questioned asked, Dean said he’d be there.

Castiel’s dad opened the door when Dean knocked, and Dean knew something was wrong. Chuck’s eyes were red and looked exhausted.

“Hey, Dean,” He said quietly.

“Hey, Chuck. Is everything okay?” The older man shook his head.

“Cas is upstairs,” Was all he said before disappearing into his home office.

Dean made his way up to Castiel’s bedroom, knocking lightly before entering.

Cas was sitting on his bed, flipping methodically through a text book. He didn’t look up when Dean came in.

“Hello, Dean.” Dean sat down on the bed with him, trying to meet his eyes.

“Hey, babe. What’s up?” Cas didn’t answer. “Cas, you’re scaring me.”

Castiel took a shaky breath and took both of Dean’s hands into his.

“There may be a problem,” He said. Dean’s mouth went dry and he tightened his grip on Cas’s hands.

“What kind of problem?” He whispered.

“Something came up some blood tests I had. They think my cancer might be back,” Cas said. Dean started shaking lightly and Cas tightened his grip. “I’m going for tests in a few days.”