You’ve heard of healing crystals

now get ready for Danger Rocks

Please do not lick any of these

1. Chrysotile

aka Asbestos! It heals lung cancer! heals it from 0HP to full health! it causes cancer do not touch do not lick

okay but this is a cool danger rock, it’s a physical carcinogen. As in, it doesn’t poison you into having cancer, it just has little needle-y bits that LITERALLY STIR UP your DNA and break it, and when the cells try to repair their DNA they get it wrong and you get cancer

2. Torbenite

A super pretty danger rock! it’s a uranium ore and releases radon gas for Extra Poison!

3. Hutchinsonite - (Tl,Pb)2As5S9

This danger rock has it all! Lead! arsenic! Thallium! All super toxic! Will legit kill you

seriously don’t lick this one, i’m looking at you, fellow geologists

thallium doesn’t taste like anything so you’re not even getting data, just poisoned

4. Cinnabar (Mercury sulfide)

Can be a very pretty red color! so it was used to make paint. The paint was super toxic.

In addition to being dangerous to your health, it’s also morally dangerous! someone had to mine it (v dangerous) so even owning it feels unethical

5. Stibnite (Antimony sulfide)

people used to make spoons and makeup and shit out of this, the spoons poisoned people who ate with them. It’s kinda pretty but not worth dying over

6. Orpiment  (an arsenic sulfide)

Look how pretty it is!!

“Incorrect handling” WILL poison you, that’s fucking arsenic

Honorable mentions:

Malachite, if eaten or… you know ;) (warning: nsfw, THat Post) Galena (lead sulfide), don’t eat it or break the rock and you’ll probably be ok, the dust is the main danger

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever

I haven’t seen this post in like 3 years

Proof you can market anything as a “Superfood” if it says Organic, Raw and Gluten-free.

THERE’S A FREAK’N WARNING ON THE BACK THAT IF EATEN IN EXCESS THEY CAUSE SYMPTOMS OF CYANIDE POISONING!

Their suggestion to eating these is to methodically poison yourself by eating 2-4 every other day. Since when has eating Apricot kernels been a thing in anyone’s diet!?

these can be found at Wholefoods

APRICOT KERNELS CAUSE SYMPTOMS OF CYANIDE POISONING BECAUSE THEY CONTAIN CYANIDE AND WILL POISON YOU

http://www.nytimes.com/1993/02/16/science/q-a-133693.html

OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL THESE ARE NOT FOOD HOLY SHIT STOP EATING THEM

What the hell, what are people doing to themselves?!

FUN WAYS TO POSION URSELF

malachite bathtub 

And on the topic of Cary Elwes... (Iocane Powder in The Princess Bride)

Remember that scene in The Princess Bride where Westley challenges Vizzini to a battle of the wits—you know, the one with the iocane powder?

The last few times I watched the movie, something about that scene didn’t set quite right with me, and I’ve been developing a theory about what’s really going on.

Westley was involved in a battle of wits against Vizzini, a battle which, necessarily, involves a certain amount of deception. I think that Westley was deceiving Vizzini about his use of the iocane powder.

Westley describes iocane powder to Vizzini as being “odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.” 

When presenting the poison to Vizzini, Westley also gives him the explicit instructions “Inhale this, but do not touch.”

While I believe Westley may truthfully have spent several years building up a resistance to the effects of iocane powder, I propose that rather than poisoning both goblets as he claimed to have done, Westley didn’t pour the iocane powder into either cup of wine!

Especially since the iocane was in powder form, I suspect that rather than being an ingested poison, it was an inhalation poison!

Vizzini wasn’t poisoned when Westley poured (or didn’t pour) iocane powder into the wine goblets, but when Westley told him to waft the vial of iocane powder. Since iocane powder is odorless, Vizzini wouldn’t have noticed that trace amounts of one of  the “more deadly poisons known to man” had been introduced into his system…trace amounts that were still enough to kill a man within minutes.

And since iocane powder came from Australia, and it’s well documented that Australia is home to some of the most venomous species of plants and animals on earth, there’s no reason not to believe that such a small quantity iocane powder could have killed a man of Vizzini’s stature.

Westley had already won the battle of wits before it had begun, and was simply stalling for time until the poison took it’s effect.

All quotes from the script accessed from this site: [X]

This is, in all likelihood, the most important post I’ve ever made on this blue-bordered website.

Hello I’ll be auditioning for the part of Kronk and I’ll be singing Poison by Beyoncé. The song Poison, created specifically for Beyoncé to sing. Beyoncé’s Poison

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever

Some assholes have been putting nails in cheese and treats in dog parks in Chicago and Massachusetts. Also adding antifreeze to water bowls.

Please watch out for your dogs. And if you find out the address of someone doing this, give me the address and tell no one. I will disembowel them.

Antifreeze is fucking deadly as shit. Whilst my mom worked in the vets office the neighbor of a cat owner had become sick of his neighbors tom spraying by his house so he left antifreeze out for the cat. Animals are weirdly attracted to the smell and will drink it.

The cat was given to the vets and for 2 days it’s insides were slowly dissolved by the acids and it bled from his nose, mouth and even eyes.  

On the second day, the vet not being able to help and refusing to let the cat suffer any longer put the cat down. The neighbor who did not deny his crimes didn’t even offer to pay the woman’s vet bill.

SO THE BIGGEST FUCKING SIGNAL BOOST TO THIS POST.

Fuck who ever is doing this. They can fucking burn.

my friend had a cat and it drank antifreeze that was puddled in the driveway and one day they were knitting and it just vomited up all of its internal organs and fell over dead on her lap.

The perpetrators of all of this will burn in Hell. 

A neighbor of mine threw a ball of hamburger full of rat poison pellets over our fence for my son’s dog. He survived, barely, but has had nerve damage ever since.

Okay, listen up, if your pet drinks antifreeze, do you know what the cure is? Alcohol. That’s right. To save your furry little friend you have to get them drunk out of their faces. Antifreeze is an inhibitor and stops your enzymes from working, but luckily alcohol stops that from happening. I learned this from my A Level Biology lessons, but here’s a source anyway http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2617997.stm

Shit this is important SIGNAL BOOST THIS THANK YOU ALICE

I will personally feed the people who do this cheese full of nails and antifreeze if I ever find them.

I CANT BREATH LORD JESUS CHRIST FUCK OMG

did this guy just livetweet a poisoning

that he committed

Social media needs to go away forever

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god