WIBTA if I intentionally included an allergen in some food so a racist couldn't eat it?
I (21M, white) recently found out that I have to attend a Thanksgiving meal with a terrible fucking person. My boyfriend "Tim" wants to go to his old roommate's/best friend's (Jacob) Thanksgiving. Jacob is great! He and Tim have been friends since they were kids, and Tim used to spend a lot of time at Jacob's house since his own home life was... not great. And Jacob's immediate family is wonderful, as well. However, Jacob's uncle "Dickwad" is racist. I went to Jacob's Thanksgiving last year and Dickwad was a dickwad. It started out okay, he and I talked about cars, but after a few beers Dickwad was very clearly racist. He also kept bragging about how he threatened a homeless man with a gun (the homeless man was trying to break into his car - it's pretty common in this area) and called him several racist derogatory terms. He never said the N-word, but it was only a matter of time, so I left quickly.
Well, Tim wants to go again this year. Everyone hates Dickwad but Jacob's parents say they can't NOT invite him since he's their brother. I say cut the bitch off, but it's not my family, and I don't want to leave Tim alone there since Dickwad has been cruel to Tim before (Tim is Asian and queer, but Dickwad thinks me and Tim are just friends and no one is about to tell him differently) and since I don't get to see Jacob that often. The rest of Jacob's family is chill and I know they would be disappointed if I didn't come.
Well, Tim recently informed me that if I'm making something to bring to Thanksgiving, Dickwad is allergic to cumin. How allergic? Not much. He'd get hives if he ate it, but he's fine being near it, touching it, etc. He just can't consume it. Everyone knows I love to cook, and I'm a damn good cook, too. So I'm planning on making something with cumin so Dickwad can't have any, because fuck him, and fuck his guns, too. No one else there is allergic to cumin. I figured if anyone asks, I'll tell them I didn't know/forgot. I asked Jacob what he thought and he thought it would be hilarious and told me to do it. I haven't said anything to Tim because he's a lot nicer and will probably try to stop me.
I don't know if this will get posted in time, but whatever. WIBTA if I put an allergen in food so a racist piece of shit can't eat it?
So, to answer some questions/comments...
Obviously, the deed is done. I made the food with cumin (it was a curry, btw, and some roasted carrots).
Dickwad said that curry was "a disgusting [racial slur's] food" so he didn't want any anyways. Don't know what his thoughts were on the carrots (edited to say carrots, I made a chili that did not contain any cumin)
I DID tell everyone that both dishes contained cumin before even setting them down, and I placed them on a separate counter to avoid cross-contamination. I thought that was a given in the post but I guess not. I know how bad food allergies can get. Part of how I got so good at cooking was because my sister has so many allergies and my parents refused to cater to her.
For everyone saying that I'm messing with HIS food - it isn't his fucking food. If I sprinkled cumin on his plate, that's his food. It's like going to a buffet and being upset that there's something you don't like there. Jacob's mom hates pumpkin pie but that doesn't stop anyone from bringing it. Jacob is lactose intolerant but that doesn't stop anyone in the house from bringing dairy dishes.
After Dickwad left Jacob's dad (Dickwad's brother) said he was glad that Dickwad couldn't eat it and patted me on the back and said I "did the right thing." Jacob's mom said it was mean but not much else, and Tim gave me a stern talking to in the car.
@am-i-the-asshole-official I have MORE context
So, Tim found this post and thought he, Jacob, and I should all update it. I've accepted that I was the asshole, regardless of what Jacob and Jacob's dad thought, but Jacob wanted to give his explanation as to why he thought it was okay as well as some events that transpired after Thanksgiving
- Jacob didn't know all that much about allergens, and he says he's pretty sure Dickwad only claims to be allergic to certain things as an excuse to avoid foreign/ethnic foods. Regardless of this, I still accept the asshole verdict. Fair enough
- Dickwad is not just a racist, he's also a Nazi. He has a neonazi flag on the back of his truck
- Dickwad is no longer invited to any holiday dinners. This shouldn't be an issue because shortly after Thanksgiving he was arrested. This is unrelated to the cumin.