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#long posts – @xenojones on Tumblr
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Xeno Jones

@xenojones / xenojones.tumblr.com

The poorly-lit, sketchy back room of my regular blog.
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pdfbabe

hey. why can i enable subliminal weight loss mantras in bejeweled 3

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genquerdeer

Bejeweled hypno kink

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foone

I wonder how hard it would be to mod in new ones

subliminal mantra of giving me fat tiddies

Sublingual estrogen of giving you fat tiddies

It's easy enough to mod in that it's on the mind control games wiki!

It's VERY easy @foone

To make custom files for Bejeweled-- All you have to do is just paste a text file with a bunch of words into the appropriate folder--

Sleepyhead is the admin of Mindcontrol.fun and she and I trade txt files for this purpose ALL OF THE TIME.

Literally it takes less than 30 seconds.

Go to your Bejeweled Folder and select affirmations

Open or create a txt document

Type whatever you want, each new line is a new message that will play out on the screen

AND THAT'S IT. You have created a Bejeweled Hypnosis File!

Awesome. Thank you for your service

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xenojones

@ragnarokshenanigans i imagine you've seen this but

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Practical male armor. 

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dduane

(via…Nnnggggg.

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bachfan

From (I think) the same shoot (via http://www.reddit.com/r/gaymers/comments/2g9701/if_the_men_in_fighting_games_were_dressed_like/) – practical male game armor from the front:

Imagine the agility bonuses on that thing….

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xenojones

sadly i can’t find any links to the specific photoshoot this is from, but the reddit thread does have one additional costume idea:

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Anonymous asked:

Any tips on how to eat a girl out?

As a matter of fact yes.

1) You are not on Man vs Food and you are not Adam Richman. The clock isn’t ticking, and you can either do it the quick way or you can do it the good way. Eating pussy isn’t a chore to tick off as quick as possible so you can get to the other stuff sooner, so you need to make peace with the fact you’re essentially down there for life. You’re a lifer in pussy prison son and you only get parole if you’re good.

2) The Path of a Thousand Smooches: This is a pilgrimage my friend, but before you reach the shrine of The Goddess you’ve got a whole load of grovelling to do on the way. Your only chance of avoiding eternal torment in the fuckboi underworld is to smooch it up from top to bottom and make your girl feel like she’s your last meal on death row. Start with the face and just work downwards, following the contours, listen to her voice, take detours. This is a sensory experience, you just gave her a day pass for Universal Studios and she wants to ride the 4D orgasm experience until the cleaners ask you to leave.

3) Several weeks later you should arrive at the pussy. The Pass at Thermopylae. The Hot Gates. You’ve been smooching far and wide, but much like brave Leonidas you are going nowhere anytime soon and probably fighting in the nude by most historical accounts. Your girl should basically be pushing herself onto your mouth with lust by this point, but instant gratification is for decadent Athenians. Instead, you wanna be kissing in slow circuits around the labia, inner thighs, perineum, never quite giving what she’s aching for. You’re aiming to wind her up as much as possible. Use your tongue. Be a tease. Don’t make me come over there.

4) Congrats, you’ve got your girl bright red and probably dripping without even touching her pussy. So now you’re gonna oblige her, but less is more and you’re starting with shrinking down those circles you were making in the previous step so that you’re running your tongue around her labia majora really lightly, throwing in a few soft kisses, and using your warm moist breath as a conduit for your sinful pussy magic.

5) You’ve done your prep, said your prayers, now you get to eat. Take those circles you’re drawing and start to apply more pressure until the lips spread and you’re exploring the full top to bottom length of her pussy. You’ll never make her cum like this, and that’s not the point. You’re relieving some of that craving she’s built up, and you wanna stimulate all around, even if it’s not the most sensitive parts.

6) MYSTIC PUSSY RITUAL ZONE. Listen well, traveller. You’ve shown tremendous spirit so far, and for your efforts I shall impart a nug of ancient wisdom. You set out on this journey to eat pussy, but to truly eat pussy, you must suck pussy. Contrary to what your bro friends ingrained in you, pussies are tough, and they can stretch. So plant your mouth at the top end of her pussy, with her clit somewhere in there, and form a seal. Now you wanna gently but firmly suck that thing inwards repeatedly, and run the flat of your tongue outwards from your mouth in rhythm with the sucking action. Pretend you’re gradually sucking up a big bundle of spaghetti bit by bit, entirely disregarding my previous remark about this not being Man vs Food. This takes practise, but eventually you’ll work out a great technique which simultaneously gets blood rushing to her clit, stimulates the clit itself, stimulates the rest of her labia, and even allows for some insertion using your tongue in a satisfying rhythm.

7) By now, her clit should be primed and ready to finish the job. Some girls can orgasm purely from clit stimulation, others may also need you to reach on up and work the nipples, others may need insertion. For the latter, refer to the billion g-spot diagrams on the web, and remember you wanna create the illusion of volume in there, pressing on the top and bottom surfaces with whatever motion work for her. Plant your top lip above her pussy, and get ready to send your tongue on an endurance run. The most comfortable (and therefore longest-lasting) motion for you is a straight up and down flick with the tip of your tongue, but again, this depends on your partner’s preferences.

8) Doing all of this slowly and gradually wasn’t just for her benefit. By now you’ve had plenty of time to figure out what works for her, and you can now combine two or more of them to give her one of the best orgasms of her life, and a week’s worth of smug self-esteem for you. As I said before, eating pussy isn’t a chore to get out the way, and you should at least hint that you’re happy to give her another spin. You’re not putting tokens in a machine, you’re having an intimate experience and being generous is win-win.

9) For further reading on militarism in ancient Greek society and the Peloponnesian Wars, I recommend Persian Fire by renowned historian and expert pussy eater (probably) Tom Holland

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reblogged

HOW TO SUCK DICK

If you simply wanted to get a guy off as quickly as possible, all you need to do is lock your lips at the base of his cock and suction them up and down the bottom ¾ of his shaft at a quick, steady pace while pressing your flattened tongue against the underside of his dick. Make sure you are applying pressure with both your lips AND tongue. Keeping your tongue engaged at all times is key. I try to keep mine moving at all times. This is how you get 90% of guys off. It helps me keep from gagging to hold his cock steady at the base and bring my lips down to meet my fingers. You can do this very slowly for a more intense feeling, but make sure you move at a steady rhythm. Some guys like it faster or slower; you may have to ask, or more likely, he’ll tell you. This is your power move, the one that is actually going to bring him to orgasm. A true hooker blowjob needs only this one move; if scientists were to create a blowjob machine, this is what it would do. The other moves I’m going to teach you are artistic flourishes; you use them to add flair and style to your blowjob or to slow down the action a little. SALIVA Don’t be afraid to just slobber all over his love muscle. It should be as wet and sloppy as possible, especially during your power move. A good blowjob makes loud, gross suction-y noises. When I’m done, I’m usually covered in my own drool and leave a wet spot on the bed. USING YOUR HANDS If his dick is too big for you to take the whole thing in your mouth, you’ll need to use your hand too. Slobber all over his cock for awhile first so your hand will slide easily up and down instead of just catching on his dry skin. The most important hand move is the twister. When you slide your hand up his shaft, twist your wrist. A twisting motion gets you into a smoother rhythm than the straight up and down. Slide your hand up and down on the base of his cock in conjunction with your mouth moving up and down on the rest of it. The hard part is finding the correct grip: again you may want his guidance. Another good trick is to wrap your hand around the top of his cock and put your mouth over your hand. Then slide your hand down the shaft and your mouth down on top of it in a fluid motion until your hand meets the base of his cock. It will feel like you’re sliding your mouth all the way down him even if you can’t. It’s times like these I wish I could draw; I’d make little diagrams. THE BALLS I usually start out by paying some attention to the balls. There are three basic ball moves: you can put them in your mouth and suck them (LIGHTLY), lick them with a flattened cow tongue, or tense your tongue into a point and run the tip of your tongue all over them. I alternate between all three. Sometimes I lift them up and lick underneath his balls. Also, if you cup them while you are entering the home stretch, you’ll be able to tell he’s about to cum as they get higher and tighter. THE HEAD My next move is usually to give his shaft several long licks from base to tip. This is the ice cream cone move; it looks sexy, it’s a nice touch, but it’s not going to make anybody cum. While conducting the power move, I come up from time to time to give the head a little attention: sucking on it, moving my tongue in a circle around it, and flicking my tongue over that spot on the underside that all the sex websites tell you is el sensitivo. In my experience, guys don’t really go that wild over attention to that spot, but these are just flourishes anyway. I tend to get a bit wrapped up in my work that I forget to make eye contact, so head action is a great time to look up at him with puppy dog eyes and his cock in your mouth. FACE SLAPPING I mentioned this in my tips to get him to cum faster, but at least once during the beej, I usually pop his dick out of my mouth and slap it against my tongue or face, then look at him while I rub his cock against my cheeks and lips. Guys are visual, this is just a little something dirty for him to look at. DEEP THROAT I can’t really teach you how to deep throat, that’s between you and your gag reflex. The important thing, I think, is to make an effort to take him in as deep as you can, even if it’s only for a few seconds. It’s hard to explain exactly how I do this: try concentrating on relaxing your throat and jaw. As I mentioned before, it helps me to steady his cock with my hand when I go deep, and breathing in instead of just holding your breath also helps abate that “gonna puke” feeling. THE BIG FINALE When you’re ready to finish him off, go into the power move and don’t vary your pace for anything. If you’re cupping his balls, you’ll often be able to tell when he’s about to cum as they tighten up. I speed up a little bit at the end, and when I feel him start to come I push my head down as deep as it will go and suck slowly and intensely at the base, letting his cum just shoot down my throat.

I don’t know about the saliva thing. It may help with flesh dicks, but the absolute worst bj a woman gave my strapped on dick she was obsessed with spitting everywhere, making gross hocking noises “for lubrication” etc. she was convinced she was awesome at technique and I was just “that noise is horrifying. I do not think I will be getting off.”

So I’d guess it depends?

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