couldn't stop thinking about tracyjat on the way home....... jat lives the most miserable violent bloodsoaked life and has visions of a girl bathed in light......... tracy is privileged and angry and gay and bored and has nightmares of a girl with a wolf's face and bloody claws......... and in a way they're seeing each other but also theyre seeing themselves as they truly are. jat is a killer who's done unspeakable things but she still has so much love and light to give if she ever had the freedom and ability to do it. tracy is beautiful and kind in her own cold kind of way but she's so ferocious and aching for some way to be necessary. and they find each other and it's weird and uncertain but tracy insists that jat doesn't need anyone's forgiveness to do and be better and to heal from what others have done to her throughout her whole life, she forgives jat for crimes she doesn't even understand and protects jat from anyone who wants to punish her, and jat who has only known untrustworthiness and violence from everyone (except doli lin, but he has ties to the people jat hurt) is able to stop running and fighting and just let someone else do the fighting for her. tracy looks like a prep-jock version of taylor swift and her nails are pure sharpened diamond and the butcher of harrana, probably like 180 pounds of ridiculously op killing machine, nestles in tracy's lap like a very tired german shepherd and makes fart jokes because she knows that makes tracy laugh.
