10 minutes in and

a) this is the same yarn, wtf is the purple so much bigger than the variegated???

b) this is not turning out how I want it to and

c) still hate clasped weft, why do I do this?

Okay, so, this turned out to be a case of 'trust the process'....

Edgin + being completely normal in his reactions to Xenk

I don't know who needs to hear this, but

YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!

YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

Liar

I can’t get over the muffled voice idea, so now I just keep thinking of Kenny from South Park, so now add Desmond’s 21st century humor that makes him the most heinous character in Italy- more or less supporting the idea that he’s hiding his face from a scorned lover or the law from public indecency or something.

“Team leader for the mission in Venice is —. Any questions?”

“M-mentore?”

“Si go ahead.”

“How would we understand him?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“>.> <.<“

I also can’t help but believe Claudia’s buddy cop is stemmed from an instinctual feeling of “this boy has been harmed and needs guidance and or love”. At first Ezio is skeptical cause why is his sister so interested in the well-being of his worst behaved recruit, only to discover how much of a good boy Desmond is, he just has a potty mouth. This poor mannered but gentle and considerate boy deserves all of the love and respect and Ezio just can’t imagine that he has ever done anything to scorn anyone so obviously the mask hides his abuse-obviously.

All of the rumors eventually leads to a competition among the recruits over whoever can take the mask off wins the prize of bragging rights along with the reveal of why Desmond hides his face.

By some poorly timed event, it was Leonardo that saw his face first and after almost 50 years he memorized Ezio’s face enough to jump to the conclusion that anyone would, immediately assume that Desmond was Ezio’s bastard trying to get close to his family and tries to be sneaky about helping his friend with father/son bonding to Desmond’s dismay.

I was thinking of Kenny from South Park when I suggested his voice is muffled so yes to all of these, hahahaha.

Also, while everyone who had been with Desmond for quite a long time now can understand his muffled speaking, Claudia is the only one who shares inside jokes with Desmond and she definitely has the habit of using 21st-century humor. She likes giving the finger too and it makes Desmond so proud of her.

Also, also, Leonardo would see Desmond and Claudia bonding and would be like “Ah, Claudia must know he’s her nephew. Why else would they be so close?”

And Claudia, who had been treating Desmond like her frat-bro would be like “Wait. What???” when Leonardo slips because he thought Claudia knew.

This will lead to Claudia charging Ezio to whoop his ass for not knowing that he had a kid.

This entire time, Desmond is just teaching the new recruits how ‘suck my balls’ is a normal thing to shout at Papal guards, even if they don’t have balls. (“mmffmmfmfmfmfm” “what does ‘metaphorical balls’ mean?” “mmmmffmfmfmfmfmffmm”)

And then we can add @kitsunesongs' idea that Desmond first helped with Monteriggioni and he’s Ezio’s first recruit so Ezio doesn’t push knowing about Desmond’s face behind the mask/fabric because he also feels indebted to him. Machiavelli thinks he’s a spy for the Borgias and a traitor (while La Volpe still thinks Machiavelli is the traitor and he’s trying to frame Desmond because Desmond had been nothing but loyal to Ezio… too loyal if La Volpe was being honest) so Machiavelli tries to take Desmond’s mask off a lot.

Instead of him getting the mask off, let’s make it so that he was talking to Ezio when Claudia tries to whoop his ass.

During the whole Auditore sibling ‘argument’, Machiavelli slips out and hunts Desmond, finding him ‘corrupting’ the innocent minds of the new recruits with his indecent humor and tells him that Claudia told Ezio that Desmond was his son.

Desmond just bluescreens because ‘what???’ and Machiavelli finally manages to take off his mask/pull down the fabric and everyone around them gasps, because yeah, he definitely looks too much like Ezio for it to be just a coincidence.

And Machiavelli realizes that he had mistaken the reason for Desmond wishing to be close to Ezio.

He thought Desmond was trying to get near Ezio to gain valuable information.

But, in reality (as Machiavelli sees it), Desmond was trying to be close to his father without confessing that he was a bastard child.

And everyone starts tearing up because they believe Desmond had been hurting this entire time and Ezio and Claudia finally gets there and Desmond is just…

Reading the part where the recruits make a game of trying to reveal Desmond's face just made me think that when/if it finally happened their reaction would be like the one spongebob episode where squidward was like 'oh no he's hot!' and then Desmond had a really awkward time around the ones who saw his face because they can't help but casually flirt or blurt out things like how handsome his face was, or his 'breathtaking eyes', and this eventually got around to Ezio and Claudia who can't help but become curious now since there's quite a few recruits basically tripping over themselves when around Desmond.

And poor Desmond doesn't know how to deal with this. He knew he was 'good looking' in the future, but these recruits are making him feel like he's some kind of supermodel-pornstar-multi-millionaire, and he doesn't know how to handle it.

And then when the big reveal comes up:

From @aramaura

Okay, but then maybe a day or so after, the recruits are all eating together (which is norm) while Desmond is out and a recruit goes “What if he really doesn’t think of the mentore as his father? Think about it. He never grew up with our mentore so there’s really no reason for him to- ow! Why’d you hit me?!”

“The mentore can hear you, idiota!”

“O-oh, uh, I didn’t-”

“It’s alright.” Ezio’s lips curved into a small forced smile as he said, “You… might be onto something.”

And now you have Ezio feeling like he was the worst father of all because he wasn’t even there for Desmond the entire time and that ‘idea’ starts shrouding the entire HQ until it and ‘bastard son doesn’t want to dishonor his father’s name’ becomes the two most commonly believed reasons to why Desmond never told anyone about his true ‘connection’ with the Auditores that it had morphed into ‘bastard child doesn’t believe Ezio Auditore is his real father because Ezio wouldn’t do something so dishonorable’ and Desmond hears this and just goes.

Uh-huh, sure. (Because he does know for a fact that Ezio has at least one child he doesn’t know about since that child was Clay’s ancestor)

He just keeps stressing Ezio isn’t his father and they’re not related, not realizing that all of that does is shatter Ezio’s heart even further and make him want to make ‘amends’ even more.

I started to answer in the morning and have lost all track of initial thought by now, but here goes

Imagine though, if Desmond absolutely *has* to be somewhere without mask? Perhaps someone from his team was captured, perhaps something went awry with the plan that Ezio was going through. Point is, everyone is out of ideas and then – someone suggests that they need a distraction

And what better way to distract the Templars, then to make them paranoid something (possibly Isu-related) is at work. So the solution? They whip up a copy of Giovanni’s assassin garb, have Desmond don it on, and go out on a stake-out mission or the like. The more from-the-corner-of-your-eye sights of him are caught, the better. And Desmond? Well, he kind of has fun doing it because at one point, he managed to give Rodrigo a near heart attack

(the fact there are now rumors about Ezio gaining back his youth, or possibly time traveling, is irrelevant)

Bonus points given if Ezio is not in on what is going on at all

So when Desmond has to join a fight Ezio is already involved in? Ezio freaks out. For all of the few moments it takes him to figure out it’s not a trick of the Apple

Good thing? They win the fight, and freak out the Templars

Bad thing? Well. The rumor that Desmond is Ezio’s kid is not no longer contained to Brotherhood

Don't forget your little addition in the replies:

You know those Borgias would be like: "Yeah, I'd hit both of that" XD

And what's this? Here comes @twitcherpated with a banger idea!

One of the recruits who is absolutely trying to help try to console Desmond, "Don't worry. I mean, if the Borgias can do-"

"Don't." Desmond covered his mask with his hand as he begged, "Don't finish that sentence."

And now we have Desmond digging his own grave even further with

@aramaura

"Oh thank god I didn't say Ratonhnhaké:ton." Desmond sighed in relief, "And... it's not like... this would make them try to spy on me to see if they can see me meet up with this Connor Kenway, right? Right???"

The random pigeon he has in his hand just tilts its head and goes, "Cooo."

"Fuck."

And also

@halfpintofanxiety

And even if he tries to go "I... I'm celibate???"

Everyone would just go "Bullshit. Not even the priests here are celibate."

And Desmond would just curse the Borgias again because he has no other option. XD

And another banger from @halfpintofanxiety!

And that is the day they all learn that Desmond doesn't just look like Ezio...

He can mimic Ezio's posture AND tone almost too perfectly.

And now... the whole "Desmond might be a time-traveling Ezio" doesn't just stay with the Templars.

Even some of the recruits think that it might be possible.

While Desmond is just...

I just love how this has blown up. I desperately want to read a full on story of this exact plot. And like, what if Desmond truly is trying to get with Ezio and all these conspiracy theories have not only made Ezio think of him as his son, but the comparison to the Borgia has also like, made Desmond nauseous everytime he 'thinks' about Ezio in...'me time' situations.

Because like, they're not completely wrong? Ezio is his ancestor, even separated by like 500 years...

But the heart wants what it wants and now Ezio is a firm believer that Desmond is some bastard son he never knew of. Especially since Desmond can mimic him perfectly.

If only Clay were there to help....

(Adding Clay would make this 100 times more funny because he absolutely would not help, 90% of the rumors and theories are started by him so he can sit back and watch this garbage fire. OMG especially if he started a rumor that not only was Clay also Ezios son, but he and Desmond were 'involved' despite it. Oh the reactions...)

Clay will strive in the chaos that emerges, especially when it becomes clear that the term personal space does not apply to them. And he’d definitely fan the flames and add more and more ridiculous additions to those theories until everything falls apart and Ezio just goes ‘fuck it’ and actually has a relationship with Desmond, damn their ‘supposed’ familial connection.

And when Ezio finally finds out that Desmond isn’t his actual son and gets annoyed with Clay for making all of these more complicated than it should be, Clay would just shrug and say…

“Well, you banged him when you thought he was your son so being your descendant isn’t going to make you run away, right?”

And now Ezio is wondering if Clay had planned this entire thing to get Ezio to love Desmond regardless of their real blood relation while Desmond is pretty sure Clay is just bs-ing his way out of Ezio’s ‘wrath’.

Without much ado...

Wishlist 2024 Prompt Post

The same game since 2009: you give me prompts, twelve this year, and I write them and post them in the 24 days before Christmas.

The Rules:

- first come, first serve. You get in my askbox first, you win.

- the prompts need to be in a fandom I am in. If I don't know it, I can't write it.

- if you prompt something I cannot or will not write, your prompt is null and void.

- the more specific a prompt, the more specific a story. You give me a fandom, a pairing, and nothing else, you might get anything. Be aware.

- please give me your ao3 handle, as I post there and only link here.

I think that's it. I'll reply to any prompts received to let you know if I accept them or not.

Due to laziness and also life, I'm going to close the prompting now. No more wishlist prompts, please.

8 is a lovely number.

See you in December!

Fibre crafts are 50% soothing repetitive action and 50% "God Fucking Damnit"

Reblog if you were born in the 1900's.

I fucking hate this so much.