thinking, in the vein of quinn being a figurative stray cat who eliot and the team adopt, in the vein of some sort of neurodiverse quinn (and off the back of watching this sort-of-spoken-word-poem, sort-of-personal-update again), about him checking in ten times in one month and then not at all for two months after.
the way the team quietly brace for the worst the first time, and eliot at least has a bit of an idea by then that this is just a quinn thing, but it's still not easy. (nothing about being friends with someone in their line of work is easy.)
thinking about almost a year in, quinn chilling with hardison while hardison talks games at him a bit and quinn's half just adjusting to being around people again, people who like him, people who he can be himself around, more or less. thinking about alec gently broaching the topic of leaving a tracker in quinn's shoe, a program on his phone, an earpiece in his pocket. something to quietly let them all know that quinn's alive and doing his own thing. something quinn can use to call in help if he needs it.
thinking about quinn not saying yes that time. not yet. trusting that they won't betray him is one thing; trusting that they'll always want him to come back is another.
it takes another eight months. eight months, and calling in eliot for an assist once, and being so on edge when eliot brings parker (getaway driver, never really in danger, hardison on the phone and watching the camera feeds from their base) that eliot has to shove him into the car, injuries and all, to get him to come with them.
it's not any big thing that decides him. it's a little bit that they're firm about not letting him work alone until he's fully healed up. it's a little bit the way eliot glares at him and pushes plates of actual food at him, adjusting the recipes until quinn likes them. it's a little bit the way parker just sits with him when he's feeling it, invites him up to the roof with a tilt of her head, the way he knows she's a bit like that too.
it's a little bit that they already gave him the key. it's a physical reminder, a small shape in a hidden pocket in his duffel bag that he can reach out and press between his fingers and know the invitation's there.
maybe he can't quite admit to himself yet that he'd rather work with the team than solo. maybe he hasn't made that decision yet. maybe he can't trust them yet, not in his heart, and he's still working on a more deliberate trust when he makes his decisions. but he can go find hardison, keep his face composed so it's easier, and agree to what he suggested before.
he can do that, at least.
#WARNING: angsty ramblings in the tags with characters discussing character death (NO actual character death depicted) forthcoming: #filler line for people who don't want to see that. also wolves if this is not welcome please let me know and i'll delete!
#anyway: what if the first time they put a tracker on him it gets removed the next time he gets captured #'cuz it's emitting a signal and most half-way competent thugs these days know to scan for that
#and that's okay. it's normal. right? he's been in this position before #he's used to there being nobody looking for him and now. there may be someone Looking for him #but they won't be able to Find him and that's not so different really
#anyway he gets himself out and he keeps going as he's always done in the past #but suddenly it IS different: there was a moment when he was genuinely not sure he'd be able to make it out
#and that's ALSO something he's used to! in their line of work you never know which job may be your last! #but this time. this time. in that moment he was... something. something almost like worried. almost like scared #not of dying. not even of dying alone. everyone dies alone anyway #but maybe of dying alone and never being found by the people he's learned over the years would be sure to be looking for him
#it takes him a while to realize he's upset about this situation and even longer to realize why #in the end hardison is floored when quinn asks him if he can put a tracker in him that would only activate when quinn dies
#(hardison knows that quinn is not sentimental about things like what happens to his body after he dies.#that this is about quinn understanding how the rest of them would feel about never finding his body or finding out what happened to him)
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