SwissMiss’s Christmas Fics

Try saying that three times fast! Turns out I’ve written a couple of seasonal fics so if you’re looking for something to put you in the mood, may I humbly submit:

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (100K, E, Johnlock) Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school’s Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? 

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (22K, M, Johnlock) Sherlock’s parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

The Big Spoon - (2022)

In answer to the Twitter post, “when he’s tall but you wanna be the big spoon“. This one wasn’t on the WIP list I posted two days ago because…I drew it today. 😳

𝓑𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓼.

Hey this is why you stop fucking buying her shit btw

Image description:

A Tweet by JK Rowling @ jk_rowling [verified] that says: I read my most recent royalty cheques and find the pain goes away pretty quickly.

Attached to the Tweet is a screenshot of another Tweet with the username cut off. This one says: how do you sleep at night knowing you've lost a whole audience from buying your books

End description. Source: Twitter

Elon is a punk!

That pathetic little wet paper manchild is *not* punk.

evermore

The crew has started taking bets. So far, the pool consists of Lucius’ scarf, Black Pete’s favorite knife, Frenchie’s latest pirate flag (a cat paw with knives coming out of each toe), one of Olu’s earrings, and the bag of Swede’s old teeth.  Even Jim is in on the action (they contributed their old fake mustache) but only because Olu wheedled them into it, and Jim is terrible at saying no to Olu.  Almost as bad as Ed is at saying no to Stede.

And yet denying Stede is exactly what’s gotten them into this fucking situation in the first place.

Ha.  “Fucking” situation.

Ed’s brief smirk at his own stupid joke quickly turns into a groan of frustration.  He lets his head fall forward limply as he leans against the ship’s rail, elbows resting on the wood and hands loosely clasped together.  It’s a sunny morning, and the salty sea air blows strands of his hair around his face because he hasn’t bothered with tying it back yet.  It should be peaceful, but he can’t seem to relax.  He can’t relax because the crew is taking bets on his sex life, and they’re not even trying to be subtle about it.  He misses the days when they were still terrified he’d cut out their tongues if they even looked at him wrong.  They’d never have been talking about his fucking sex life back then.  

Now they think he’s gone soft, and they’re fucking right.  Ed’s forgiven himself for a lot of shit, but trying to kill Lucius and abandoning Stede’s crew on that island isn’t one of them, and they damn well know it.  So they make their wagers out in the open without fear.  In fact, they try harder to hide it from Stede than they do from Ed.

“Ed?”  Stede’s voice is already full of concern, and a comforting hand settles on the small of Ed’s back, sending shivers up his spine.  He wonders if bashing his head against the rail would distract him from the way even this most innocent of touches makes him want to drag Stede to bed.  “I’ve been looking for you, love.  Is everything all right?  You look a bit…”

He trails off uncertainly, but Ed can think of a million phrases that would accurately finish that sentence.  Ed, you look a bit…

…frustrated as fuck?

…unsure of how to seduce your fucking boyfriend?

…like you can barely function because you’re so stupidly in love it hurts?

“M’fine,” Ed says gruffly.  He lifts his head and forces a smile, which probably won’t fool Stede for a second, but it’s worth a try.  “Just tired is all.”

True to form, Stede raises his eyebrows in that I-know-you-better-than-that way he has, and it makes Ed want to kiss him.  And he’s allowed to do that now, so he does.  All it takes is a little twist of his upper body, and he’s got Stede’s face cradled in one hand and a fistful of yellow silk clutched in the other.

Read the rest on Ao3 <3

Just tags below the cut!  If you would like to be tagged in future chapters, please let me know!

The Kraken

and what if we did get away?

1.06 / 1.07 - The art of smiling at the person you love when they’re not looking.

Taika Waititi as Edward “Blackbeard” Teach, painted over 7 hours and 45 minutes in Procreate! Had a lot of fun with this one, really leaned into the florals.

Reblogs welcome but don’t repost anywhere!

The warning is for those who claimed offense at the following observation, made in this space a few days back: “What Americans have lost — to be painfully accurate, what Republicans have trashed in pursuit of power — is the willingness and ability to share a common national identity.” It would seem to be self-evident truth. But not everyone agrees.

“Constantly blaming Republicans,” griped one respondent.

“You ONLY blame the Republicans,” complained another.

“You exclusively blame Republicans,” grumbled yet another.

Well, there’s a reason the Republicans get the blame for destroying any sense of common American narrative. It’s because — pay close attention here — they deserve the blame for destroying any sense of common American narrative.

Sorry, but Hunter Biden’s laptop didn’t do that. Black Lives Matter didn’t do that. Whatever thing Fox “News” last told its audience to fear did not do that.

The Republican Party did it by a campaign of demonizing dissent, shredding norms and boundaries, embracing a politics of white resentment and fear and, perhaps most corrosively, delegitimizing the very idea of knowable fact, so that an ordinary birth certificate becomes an object of suspicion, an ordinary election a seedbed of distrust and the sacking of the U.S. Capitol an innocent visit by tourists.

Excellent take.

Your daily reminder that Republicans are garbage.

Taika Waititi as Edward “Blackbeard” Teach in Our Flag Means Death (2022-)

THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE IS DEFINITELY PHYSICAL TOUCH OMG😭😭

Nathan Foad as Lucius in Our Flag Means Death (2022-) part 2 | part 1

One of the scenes that I again felt was incredibly lovely in Episode 9 is the one between Stede and Ed sitting on the beach. It's very quiet and intimate, and the kiss happens, which doesn't come out of nowhere given the mood of the scene, but almost takes both characters a little by surprise. What did you want to capture most about that moment in playing it with Taika, and was there anything that you decided to bring to it apart from what David [Jenkins] had on the page?

DARBY: I wanted to make sure that the audience knew that Stede didn't really know what love was and hadn't really expected a kiss or anything like that. He was very naive to it all but was just on this rollercoaster because he enjoyed every minute of it, and he didn't know where it was going to end. I think he expected, in some ways, for Blackbeard or Ed to take the lead — which he has, in most of the things we've done on board. He's the experienced pirate, and Stede tried to give his own 10 cents by helping out with gentlemanly things and the use of cutlery and wearing fine fabrics and things like that. But there was certainly a lack of confidence in the area of... I think that's probably the same for both of them, with love.

I really could come down to either of them probably taking that next step and just touching each other in that way. But it just so happened to be Ed, because Ed felt invigorated. He felt like he had finally let go of the persona of Blackbeard, the evil side of him. Once the beard came off and everything, he's like some dashing guy from the Mills & Boon — you probably don't know what those books are.

I do, the romance novels.

DARBY: The romance novels. Yeah. So he is sitting there, but he's certainly more at ease, you can see that. Because Stede isn't. Stede's realizing that he has possibly screwed everything up and that they're going to die, and I think he's got a lot more going on in his head, and you can see that when they do the kiss. Then Ed walks away, [and] there's just this really puzzled look on Stede's face where he's taking that in, but he's taking so many other things in at the same time, which are: Is this the end? What do I do here? Have I done the right thing? Yeah. But I think I hopefully played that right.

- Collider, 24th March 22

Fuck my man, you played that so so right.