@witchking-jr / witchking-jr.tumblr.com
any body part is automatically more erotic when viewed from an uncommon angle, like looking up at a dick, sideboob, backsack, etc. this is known as the Rare Sex Pepe Effect
🗨 Readers added context they thought people might want to know normal people don't say things like this. https://www.tumblr.com/logout
🗨 Readers added context they thought people might want to know everyone's a fucking critic
i have thought about this at least twice a day for the past week
Okay, so I'm /actually/ about to write a porn fic to AO3, and I'm interested in knowing what the difference is between the M rating and E rating. Able to enlighten me?
Mature is ‘and then they made love.’ Explicit is ‘and here’s how they did it exactly.’
To wit: mature.
He looked at the envelope, spread out before him.
God, he’d never been this hungry.
Could he be gentle enough? Slow enough? He didn’t want to damage it, didn’t want to do anything he’d regret… but no, no, it seemed the envelope wanted this as much as he did. It slipped into his hands, it folded as he asked. When it was time for more, the card was waiting, and he somehow knew exactly what to do. He moved with his correspondence in a dance as old as the mail system, and when it was over, he was smiling and the envelope was completely, thoroughly sealed.
Explicit:
The envelope waved its flap in the air slowly, gently, and he could see the faint shimmer of the adhesive traced along its fold. It was like a taunt, a dare: won’t you? And he would, oh, God, he would, lifting the envelope firmly to his lips, licking slowly at first, then faster, more firmly, tasting the envelope’s essence, the faint bitterness, the sweetness to follow–
Oh, he couldn’t help but smile at how it felt in his hands. It was so perfectly folded. Its paper was rough against his fingers, and its crossed folds shifted slightly as it opened for his eager tongue. Yes, yes…
Now the card, and his hand trembled as he lifted it, as he held the envelope, stretching it wide. Would it fit? Oh… oh, yes, it would fit, it slid in smooth and quick and filled the envelope to bursting, oh, made for each other, and he smiled in delight at how perfect it was.
He was ready. Now, now, now: with one swift movement he folded the flap over and he pressed, yes, he pressed the flap down and it stuck, God, it stuck perfectly, and he closed his eyes in bliss.
Afterwards, he stroked the envelope, and thought about addresses.
shane carries big dick energy on the low
Yves Mathieu for IDOL Magazine @idolmagazine by Ricardo Rivera styled by @what-he-wears
Ugh still thinking about this beautiful movie <3 Thank you Guillermo Del Toro <3 I haven’t been painterly in a long while. Too busy with work and such but took some time aside to get back into it! I have several unfinished thumbs, will post them to patreon and hopefully finish one day- but in the meantime- enjoy <3 -COEY! ___ Prints: https://www.etsy.com/listing/586435663
I asked my friend A., a german expert, to explain WHY this was happening and I think she did a great job
I wish i always got such healed photos of my work! 😘 @bspbacon @sbldnttt @sangbleuzurich @sangbleuphysical @sangbleu @tttism #ttt #tattooing #contemporarytattooing (at Sang Bleu London)
Dick: out
Second, smaller dick: out
Third, rear-facing dick: out
I am not forcibly removed from anywhere because I am an important good luck and protection dick
We have a winner.
*wiener
You are forcibly buried in pyroclastic flow.
Kinkshamed in my own gods-damned city.
that’s interesting considering he has a colorful history of his own
i fcuking love how gays have receipts for everything
i am absolutely screaming like WHAT #nsfw #PENIS (AS FUCK)
Los magníficos óleos de Viktor Lyapkalo (RUS)
Fuente imágenes: Leningrad Artist / Pinterest / Blogger / Vi.sualize
This is so funny omfg
Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo
*looks around*
Is
Is anyone gonna say it
malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite
@lizaleigh do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don’t feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo.
…sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: “EXPLAIN.” Although I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts?
oh geeze, i’m kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want?
It’s really only a problem if you’re polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It’s rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway… Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._.
I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out.
So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here.
Oh my god guys it’s poisonous
It is super poisonous
There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more
Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock
Try this one instead.
malachite literally explodes in water does it not?
I… no… I think you’re thinking of pure sodium?
Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker
This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you’re getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You’re also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock
I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on being you.
I’m still not sure if I can fuck this rock.
I’m looking into it.
UPDATE:
Today in “I’m so sorry, coworkers, it’s for Tumblr,” I brought this post to the attention the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did a some research and weighed in on the question “Can you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?”
The answer is “It’s probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.”
please do not fuck the malachite stalactite is my new band name
they: german is the language of poets and thinkers
me:
