Finally Decided On A Name

And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins

@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!

It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth

SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.

NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED

YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.

It's supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front

I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.

Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.

Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?

cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder

Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time

actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.

Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!

@oft-goes-awry

what the actual fuck?

@somethinginterestingithink

Behold, my grandmother's recipe for Cranberry Surprise:

For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don't have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.

For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and 1/2 tsp. of almond extract.

In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you've got one, or a fork if you don't. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)

Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it's supposed to be THAT pink.

Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.

American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.

(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)

I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.

One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.

Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!

Oh my ZOD I love that

my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.

we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.

Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.

What the fuck about the dolphins and spiders, though ? The one reblog which pretended to explain the dolphins just... Didn't ? Help a gal from the other side of the Atlantic

The dolphins are a joke. There are no dolphins in the bog, that was made up for a meme.

The frog, in accordance with the “frogs and cranberries must be fall” meme, is very much a bog denizen.

They probably feed on the spiders, who are very, very real.

Cranberry bog ecosystems are AWESOME.

this little interaction with Lew and an interviewer is so sweet i can’t 😭 full vid: here

How do they choose which sand to be the glass and which sand to be the sand in an hourglass... Imagine you and your best friend were two grains of sand and you had to be in the hourglass and your bestie had to be the glass. Ur together but youve never been more apart. A Sick and twisted practice hourglassery is...

it's our darling US Military Outpost in the Middle East of course: Israel.

America has a weird relationship with cults where they’re terrified of small cults (or organizations they think are cults) but completely normalized massive cults that hurt many more people (eg: LDS Church, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Amish, Scientology, most Megachurches)

To anybody asking if the Amish are a cult, the answer is yes, very much so.

They’re a high control group that isolate you from society. The cult decides how you dress, how you behave, who you marry and how. They control what you know, blocking all information from the outside world. They control how you feel and what you’re allowed to think with threats of both social and supernatural harm. They’re a cult.

The best method to determine if a group is a cult, in my opinion, is Steven Hassan’s (cult expert and former cult member himself) BITE model.

BITE stands for Behavior Control, Information Control, Thought Control, and Emotional Control.

The more points a group “scores” on the model, the more of a cult it is.

I think this model is the best one for several reasons:

This is a great example of Thought Control used by cults whenever they’re confronted with criticism.

#you might notice that there are a lot of similarities between cult techniques and those of abusive partners#and that is an important thing to be aware of

yah that goes in the post

The creator of the BITE Model considers abusive relationships to be two-person cults.

It’s important to note that almost every sect of evangelical christianity in the US today fails the BITE Model.

This was the post that lead to breaking my JW mindset. Been a while since I seen it.

I’m glad I could help in your deconstruction, if only a little bit. I wish you all the luck in your journey moving forward.

The adhd modes of food

1. You ate that burger so fast. You ate that burger so fucking fast and now the whole Red Robin is staring at you god what the fuck

2. You started eating like a normal person, but then you started talking or daydreaming and now the waitress is handing you the check but you’ve still got half a plate of cold fettuccine

3. You were going to go out to eat, but then you saw a video in your YouTube recommendation that drew you towards it like moth to a flame, and now it’s 10 pm and you’ve got an empty bag of tortilla chips in your hand and shame in your heart

4. Mac And Cheese

5. You got engrossed in a project, suddenly you feel like you’re going to die, or faint, or both? Oh. you’re hungry.

6. You’re hungry.  But every food you can think of sounds disgusting.  Time for your 15th day of lunchables for breakfast in a row.

7. The food you’ve been obsessively eating for the past 2 weeks and you relied on is now the grossest thing you could put in your mouth

“If you have time to watch Netflix you have time for a side hustle” my side hustle is relaxing so that my body and brain can heal from by this nose-to-the-grindstone bullshit. I refuse to feel guilty for being a human with the need to relax sometimes. my side hustle is no.

whenever i hear about hustle culture i always think about this post on r/antiwork

People who honestly think there shouldn’t be a proshot release of theater shows because then people wouldn’t go to the theater anymore are so fucking dumb holy shit how dumb do you have to be did people stop watching footbal games because it also airs on tv? did people stop going to concers because you could get the dvd? holy shit just let poor people have a taste of the thing too god damn it

I should add, as an opera fan, this is something opera got over long ago. I can access proshot recordings of practically every major opera production of the last 30 years, because most of them got official dvds. And that didn’t kill opera. Tickets for opera productions can often be gotten for cheap too. Operas, despite their reputation are actually really good about accessibility, at least in terms of cost.

But broadway musicals? The community that are mostly having this debate? My options are buying a ticket (for a large sum, plus a plane trip to New York), a sound-only official cast recording, a shaky low-fi bootleg video or a hollywood movie adaptation if I’m lucky. Tickets for musicals on broadway and the west end are often sold out and for large prices, and I doubt proshot recordings would put any major dent in that.

Also I can’t go into a crowded auditorium and probably won’t be safe to do so for years because people think Covid-19 is sooooo over

So it’d be nice to have a chance to experience a watered down version of shows ballets plays or etc. because I liked them and there’s so many I might not get to see

In addition to the price and location barrier, there’s also a time barrier with live theatre.

There are so many shows that I would HAPPILY pay to see if I could, but they ran before I was born or when I was a child/teen.

There are shows that I DID get the privilege of seeing live that I would love to see again, or share with loved ones, but I’ll never get to because they’re no longer running or touring.

Not only would pro-shot releases help people who can’t afford or access live shows, it would create an archive of these performances for present AND future audiences to experience over and over again (and probably generate broader interest in live revivals too).

Mark Vomit (2020)

you may also know Mark Vomit from such hits as "You Are Not Immune To Propaganda" (featuring Garfield)

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

the walmart down the street proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

can i be honest im 100% for the fact that like the tradwife stay at home mom thing is really fucked culturally but also like i think we as a society have to figure this shit out because a child needs the equivalent (if not more) of a full time job's worth of work from an adult who (for the health of the child and for the ethics of the situation honestly) needs to be able to function in a way that isn't making the adult miserable because being raised by miserable adults has really tangible negative impacts on children. whether its community childcare so that simply more adults can be involved in the situation or much more robust social aid towards young families. like this might he stupidly idealistic but i think really the root of a lot of issues in society come from the fact that people refuse to understand the gravity of like. parenthood. its an insane responsibility. i think it should be treated as such

#yeah that's not how you're supposed to hike. slowest hiker takes the lead#the group's gotta match their pace anyways you need to make sure you don't lose them#especially since if they're breathing hard they may not be able to call out to warn the others they're falling behind#also. that way they can call breaks when they need by just coming to a halt

#if the rest of the group gives them shit for it that's the groups failing#you gotta set the bar at the lowest level of the group. if that's too low for some people you've got too wide a range of abilities#note that sometimes shit will happen and thats okay

#i once had a lowkey asthma episode 15km deep into a mountain trail with no phone service. during a heatwave. on an uphill section#the trail was fucking covered in mosquitos and blackflies. my sibling did NOT appreciate how often i had to stop to gasp for air

#and when it was all over and i apologized for the bug bites guess what! they admitted they'd overreacted and apologized for being an asshol#because rushing your hiking partners just makes their situation even worse

Hiking isn't for going as fast as you possibly can, it's for enjoying the natural world...

But like.... as someone who has been in that situation, where half the group was hiking faster than me and would pause every now and then to wait for us to catch up, thus getting a break, and then when me and the other stragglers DID finally catch up (gasping and struggling to walk with our stupid school-packed hiking packs), they would immediately set off, freshly rested, while the rest of us had to keep going without pause........ not only will I never forget the experience, but also, YES, REAL LIFE REALLY DOES FEEL LIKE THAT SOME TIMES.

Like yeah the above situation is very bad hiking etiquette for a range of reasons, but that wasnt the OPs point. The point was that sometimes general life feels like that. Where you're struggling just to keep walking, but everyone around you is striding ahead, and then they'll pause to let you catch up which means they get a nice little break and are thus more energised for the next segment, but you don't get to stop. You don't get to catch your breath because the people waiting for you set off the second you've caught up to them. In their view, they weren't taking a break, they were just waiting for you -- and now that you're here you can all set off again!! Yay!! And meanwhile they're totally oblivius to the fact that because they've had 10 breaks to your none, that you're on the verge of total collapse.

This hiking analogy is a good one for regular life, because it really DOES feel like this sometimes. You're keeping up at work but its taking all your energy, so your homelife is starting to crack at the edges or is falling apart completely, and the others in your life don't get it because THEY aren't spending all their energy at work, so what's the problem? Or flipside, maybe your homelife is what's using all your energy to keep it going, so your work starts to suffer, and your collegues/superiors get annoyed at you because What Even Is The Problem, We're Not Asking Much Of You And You Can't Even Do That.

Maybe you're managing an illness (physical or mental) or an injury and THATS what's draining you, making it feel like you're wading through chest-deep water whilst everyone else is sailing by in a boat, and the ones on the boat don't get why you can't keep up with them, bc they don't realise that you're not on a boat like they are.

Maybe money is tight, and all the people in your life with more money Just Don't Get why you can't just drop some cash on an evening out or a new outfit or a coffee every day, or a better apartment or a new car so you don't have to catch the train, or whatever, and they Just Don't Get It! Because buying these things would make your life better/easier/etc, so why don't you just do it? And it's because they're functioning with a different set of finances to you, and they can't wrap their head around your financial reality.

It's because you're all on a hike together and they have longer legs or better fitness or a lighter pack than you do, so therefore they're walking faster than you, and every time they pause to let you catch up (IF they pause), it functionally acts as a break for them which reenergizes them, and when you finally catch up, they set off again, and you don't get a break, and you have to just keep trudging on and trying not to collapse, while they flit along ahead of you wondering why you're struggling to keep up.

This anology is fucking correct as shit.

And I've found the only thing, the only single thing, that's helped?

Is saying "Yes" when anyone asks "Would you like some help with that?"

I have killed my pride dead.

I took it out in the backshed and shot in the head like fucking Old Yeller.

And I'm finding that in the hiking metaphor? I'm not creeping any faster. I'm not.

What I'm finding is the well-rested people are more willing to stay behind and keep me company while I rest if I nod when they ask or to go get me water to carry my shit for a ways so I can make it to the next check point with less exhaustion so I can keep up better - metaphorically. I'm also finding people from other hiking groups are down to help so my hiking partners dont get fucking sick of me.

But I gotta say yes. And that has involved me garrotting my pride.

And its still not always enough. Because OP is right about life working like that.

But anyway that's what's helped me.

I was in a polyamorous relationship with my crush and her best friend (all three of us female) and two of us were giving birth simultaneously to the third’s baby. 

There was an app that showed a secret camera view of me in class and I had only realized around a year after and I saw a review on the app from my grandma and it said, “It was ok, he slept too much though,” and it was a two star review.

It's because they're frogs