Armand: My fetish is saying some incredibly stupid shit and watching Daniel speedrun the five stages of grief as he realizes with horror that he still wants to fuck me.

My favourite underrated thing about Louis de Point du Lac is that he truly is the least curious vampire to ever be made and he does not give fuck about vampires despite being one.

Its Claudia who goes to libraries, reads the folklore, tries to learn as much as she can and pushes Lestat for answers about who made him and where the others are. Claudia says Vampire Pride and Louis says hmmm Vampire Tolerance.

And Louis...truly does not care about vampire history,law, culture. He's never even thought to ask. There are vampire laws?...ok...Lestat never cared about them and he's not going to either, lol. He's broken a few and he will continue to do so. Oh you have a coven? he's not gonna join it, he's gonna do his own thing. but good for you good for you.

the 500+ year old Coven Leader, he's gonna call Louis, Maitre, actually.

He has fire powers? thats kinda cool. he'll learn that but only cause it lets him vent his feelings about Lestat.

Lestat and Armand say the name of the vampire queen in front of him and Lestat straight up says, "Louis has no idea who that is" and do you think Louis cares, outside of the fact that for some reason it means he can't kill Lestat? No! Do you think in the 77 years he's been with Armand he ever took 5 minutes to ask a follow up question? No!

Do you think he will care about Akasha in season 3? Doubt it! Outside of her obsession with Lestat, who is the only person left on the planet he seems to be able to filter Caring About This Shit through

He blatantly breaks the 3rd law and publishes a book about being a vampire and when the other vampires get pissed not only does he not apologise he literally sends them his location and says 'you wanna fight? lmao don't miss'

I love him. Daniel Molloy is gonna need to bring his A game because Louis will not be solving a single mystery next season, nor would it even occur to him to try.

iwtv is great because sam reid was like “ever since I was a little boy I dreamed of being lestat” and eric bogosian was like “the most erotic experience of my life was watching a dracula play and I want someone to bite my neck” and assad zaman was like “i think I should get to have a threesome with both daniels” and no one stopped them and jacob anderson didn't say any of that but he did deliver a performance too good for the emmys

guys. do you also hallucinate your ex husband wearing a wedding band while you're 70+ years deep in your current relationship with the love of your life or are you normal???

so i haven't read the books but i did read the Devil's Minion chapter and this part made me laugh out loud:

curious to hear y'all's suggestions for the worst possible pasta shape

(Assume that "pasta" needs to be made of sheets or strands of dough with enough surface area relative to thickness so that they can be cooked.)

I was going to suggest fettuccini but twisted with the ends connected to form a Möbius strip, but then I realized that would fuck like hell.

@fishofthewoods I did NOT expect to get such a strong contender so early.

@alilcajun @aralioideae

a couple of challengers emerge

You are all fucking madmen

THE WAY SHE POSED AFTERWARDS HFKFBDK

My artistic rendition:

Lestat occasionally comes on a bit strong...

If I was famous and critically acclaimed journalist Daniel Molloy and I kept getting accused of having a problematic relationship with my allegedly twenty-something boy-toy who I knew was actually a 514 year old vampire I would tweet “I’m not a cradle robber, I’m a necrophiliac” and turn off my phone

THIS ALSO GOES FOR WRITING

REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG! EVEN IF YOU DON’T ADD TAGS.

I LOVE PEOPLE WHO REBLOG MY ART, I GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE FOR YOU

I LOVE PEOPLE WHO

REBLOG MY ART, I GET DOWN

ON ONE KNEE FOR YOU

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

trump dies of congestive heart failure before being sworn in charge to like cast to reblog

I’m both pro herbal medicine and pro vaccination because you can treat burns with aloe vera juice and sore throats with lavender infused honey but you can’t rid a country of polio with plants. 

THIS.

Don’t forget kids, jewelweed is a natural counteragent to poison ivy rashes but it won’t do shit against whooping cough

Mint for nausea, valerian and chamomile for sleep, antibiotics for fucking infections.

educational and salty. i like it.

I just want y’all to know that one time during lockdown I played a lot of Minecraft because I had nothing better to do and then later I was going to go into my room after a shower so I could go back to being a hermit but it was dark so I just thought “oop, can’t go in there, there’ll be skeletons spawning there and they’ll shoot at me”

And for LIKE FIVE WHOLE SECONDS I didn’t question it and I just turned on the lights and walked out into the living room to wait it out, just thankful I had my pajamas on already so I didn’t have to fight off the shooty skeletons in my dark closet where there might be some creepers too

And then all of a sudden I was like “Wait what the frig skeletons aren’t real” and then just went back into my room

And I think about that a lot. So if ANY OF YOU dare to think that I have any more than three and a half braincells on a really good day, just please remember this and know that you are sorely mistaken

I hate to break it to you but skeletons are, in fact, real. There's one incredibly close to you at this very second

this is like that one summer I played too much chess, and then I was standing in line at the grocery store at a slightly diagonal angle to the person in front of me and I had this light go off in my brain like “weak pawn structure this is your chance” before I realized that it was real life actually.

Make the most of the next two months

Feel free to add on.

wow! as a broke college kid, i wish there was a way to access books and movies as well as scientific articles that the new administration isn't necessarily a fan of. man. If only there was a free and trusted vpn ( up to 10 gigs of downloadable data) to use in conjunction with an anonymizing router (also free up to 10 gigs) to safely, er, permanently borrow media in an untraceable way as well as share files. Man, what's that browser that keeps your online activity anonymous? I'm awfully attached to firefox, personally. If only i had a browser extension that would throw a smoke screen over my browsing data while blocking ads at the same time.

what was i talking about? hmm. weird.

The fact that I made this profile so I had somewhere to post about Star wars and then never post anything because I get self conscious is killing me so I'll slowly go ahead and drop some art okay thanks bye