I love you. And I you, Cas.

Dean "I need at least three working days notice to process an emotion" Winchester just got told by the cosmic being that he's loved for years, that it not only loves him back but that he taught it to fucking love in general, but, caveat, the minute it admits it's happy it's getting boomeranged to oblivion and you motherfuckers think a failure to say I love you back is because he doesn't return the feeling? Jokes.

Is Destiel Canon Yet ?

11/5/2020: Yes.

based on a post by @casgirlat221b

Someone made fanart based on one of my posts??? Ugh ily thanks! This is super cute and amazing! ❤️

Troubled Nights

Request: Anon asked - “hey, idk if you’re taking requests right now, but do you think you could do a fic where dean has a nightmare about cas (who’s still dead) and jack hears him murmuring cas’ name in his sleep? i think you would have a really cool take on this :)”

A/N:  Oh my God I’m so sorry that this took a lot of time! I had a couple of exams this week and writer’s block didn’t help either. But it’s 1am here and I truly loved writing this and I hope it came out well. Thank you for the request ❤️

It hadn’t taken Jack much time to figure out that the whimpering sounds that penetrated his walls at night were the sounds of someone crying. Jack had never heard such a broken sound before and he was surprised - to say the least - when he realised that Dean Winchester was the source of these sounds.

Dean Winchester was a hard man to please and Jack found it even harder to even be in his presence. Most of the time, Dean would pretend that Jack wasn’t in the room and when Jack tried to make conversation with him, he would just shut him out. But things were getting better. Ever since Jack saved their lives at their latest hunt, Dean had been less disgruntled with Jack. But he was still bitter and short-tempered most of the time.

Sam explained that Dean was going through a hard time and was grieving for the loved ones that he lost. Jack didn’t truly understand the pain till that night - the first night that he had heard the elder Winchester cry out in his sleep. Jack was too scared and confused to go to him then. The second night was the same, but this time Jack actually considered going to Dean’s room and doing something - anything - to ease his pain. But Jack couldn’t bring himself to face Dean. It was the third night that Jack finally made himself walk over to Dean’s room when the sounds arose again. As Jack reached Dean’s room, he realised that Dean wasn’t muttering incomprehensible words. In fact he was calling out for one person in his nightmares. He was calling out for Castiel.

“You promised that you would always be there.” Dean was no longer yelling as he looked at Cas standing in front of him with an angel blade buried in his chest. “You promised…”

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Cas’ steely blue eyes met his scared green ones. 

Dean was afraid to go near Cas. He knew that this was a dream - a nightmare, to be more accurate. But it all felt too real.

“You - you told me that you loved me.” Dean chocked the words out as the stab wound on Cas’ chest darkened in colour and stained his trench coat. But Cas seemed to not notice nor care.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Dean’s voice raised higher as he looked at Cas in surprise. “You don’t love me?”

“I’m sorry,” Cas repeated firmly. “You have to let go, Dean.”

“Not again. Never.” Dean was determined to not let go as he grabbed hold of Cas’ collar. A part of him was still aware that this was a nightmare and that none of this was real but most of him didn’t care.

But nothing stopped the angel from burning white and going limp in the hunter’s arms. Nothing stopped the guttural scream that escaped Dean’s throat.

Dean woke with a start. His throat hurt and he realised that he had definitely cried out in his sleep. Sweat plastered his hair to his forehead and his shirt was sticky with the same. His face was wet and Dean realised that he had been crying without him being aware of it.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean’s voice was barely a croak and his throat was still sore from the exertion. He wanted to get some water. The thought of drowning bottles of beer didn’t tempt him tonight.

He slowly turned himself around to get down his bed only to find Jack looking at him.

“Holy sh- Jack? What’re you doing here?” Dean quickly wiped at his eyes and frowned at the nephilim.

“I heard you calling out in your sleep Dean,” Jack said. “I heard you calling out for my father, Castiel.”

“T’was nothing,” Dean replied in a gruff voice. “Go back to bed.”

“I want to help you Dean,” Jack insisted.

“I asked you to get out of here.” Dean immediately regretted his words as he saw the hurt on Jack’s face.

“I - I’m sorry, alright? This is just not easy for me to talk about.”

“I won’t tell anyone Dean. Maybe I can even help you.” Jack decided to make a bold move and sat next to Dean on the bed. When Dean didn’t push Jack away he relaxed a bit and turned to Dean with a patient look.

“No one can help, Jack. He’s gone and nothing’s bringing him back.” Dean’s eyes flitted down to where his hands were clasped tight to prevent himself from crying again. “He’s gone.”

“Dean, please?” Jack tried again. 

“Why?” 

It sounded like a simple question, but Jack knew that it was not. 

“I need to know if Castiel was as good as my mom wanted me to believe.”

“He was better,” Dean said, his voice barely a whisper. “He was a hero.”

“So tell me, Dean,” Jack urged. “Tell me about my father.”

It was the slight squint in Jack’s gaze and the ever-so-light head tilt that broke Dean. That was how Dean Winchester spent the whole night talking to Jack about the angel that he had fallen in love with.

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I Love You

Read it here on AO3

“Cas… I - I love you.”

The first time Dean Winchester choked those words out loud, only the defining silence of his empty room greeted him. Castiel was dead and the only thing that remained was the trench coat which smelled of dry blood and dirt. It no longer smelled of Cas.

The next time Dean confessed his feelings out loud was the next day when he was playing the mixtape on repeat.

“I love you Cas and I really miss you, buddy. Come back to us. Come back to me. Please…”

The words were simple but the emotions behind them were not.

Ever since then, Dean would end his prayers to Cas with an ‘I love you’ and a silent plea to come back alive. And every morning he would wake to an empty bed and a tear-stained trench coat.

“Dean I understand your pain but you’ve got to help me out with Jack,” Sam pleaded one day. “I cannot do this alone. I lost my best friend and my mom too, Dean.”

“You don’t understand Sam.” Dean pushed past his younger brother and reached for the cooler to grab a couple of bottles of beer.

“Then make me understand Dean.” Sam stood cross-armed in front of Dean and refused to move.

Dean stared at the cold bottles of beer in his hand before finally meeting Sam’s eyes. “I love him, Sam. I’m in love with Cas.”

Sam’s gaze softened and he didn’t have the heart to correct the tenses in Dean’s confession. “I know Dean… I’m sorry.”

Sam had stopped reaching out to Dean but the latter could not just sit around anymore. Dean started becoming more productive. He started taking care of Baby and giving her regular washes. In fact, Dean was back in the kitchen cooking breakfast and lunch in no time. He would still shut himself in his rooms for hours on end of course, but it was baby steps and Sam was content. However, Dean refused to go near Jack as the Nephilim reminded him too much of his dead angel.

“I love you Cas and I know that you would want me to help Jack… but I’m sorry man. I can’t look at him without seeing you and… and it hurts.”

It was after seventy-six confessions did Dean hear the voice he never thought he would hear again.

It was a fine Thursday morning and Dean was in his room, going through all the pictures that he had in the bunker when he realised that there were no pictures of Cas. None. He was about to reach for another beer when the voice behind him stopped him cold.

“Hello Dean.”

Dean turned back so fast that he almost got whiplash.

“Cas?”

Cas was looking at Dean with a small smile. Before he knew it, Dean closed the distance between him and the angel and pulled him into a tight hug.

“You’re real. This is it. You’re here.” Dean was crying again but he didn’t care.

He sniffed in the familiar scent of Cas but the latter pulled away and placed a hand on Dean’s cheeks. Dean closed his eyes and leaned into Cas’ touch and his green eyes met Cas’ warm blue ones. But the blue eyes held hesitation and Cas’ hands twitched at his sides.

“What’s the matter Cas?” Dean whispered.

Cas took a long unsteady breath and before Dean could react, Cas tilted his head up and pressed a soft kiss on Dean’s lips. Before Cas could pull away, Dean wrapped his arms around the angel’s waist, pulled him impossibly closer and kissed him deeper and harder. It was a long time before the two came up for breath.

“I love you Cas,” Dean breathed out.

“I heard you. I love you too Dean.”

A/N: I’m super sorry for my inactivity but I finally got a work up! I wanna dedicate this to @alittlebitofanna cause it’s her birthday today and she’s an amazing person who writes amazing fics! Go send her your love peeps ❤️

I would love to hear from you guys! So please do send me your feedback here 

Also, let me know if you want to be tagged in my future fics by sending me an ask or through DM! - My tagging categories 

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I Love You (Destiel)

Read it here on AO3

“Cas… I - I love you.”

The first time Dean Winchester choked those words out loud, only the defining silence of his empty room greeted him. Castiel was dead and the only thing that remained was the trench coat which smelled of dry blood and dirt. It no longer smelled of Cas.

The next time Dean confessed his feelings out loud was the next day when he was playing the mixtape on repeat.

“I love you Cas and I really miss you, buddy. Come back to us. Come back to me. Please…”

The words were simple but the emotions behind them were not.

Ever since then, Dean would end his prayers to Cas with an ‘I love you’ and a silent plea to come back alive. And every morning he would wake to an empty bed and a tear-stained trench coat.

“Dean I understand your pain but you’ve got to help me out with Jack,” Sam pleaded one day. “I cannot do this alone. I lost my best friend and my mom too, Dean.”

“You don’t understand Sam.” Dean pushed past his younger brother and reached for the cooler to grab a couple of bottles of beer.

“Then make me understand Dean.” Sam stood cross-armed in front of Dean and refused to move.

Dean stared at the cold bottles of beer in his hand before finally meeting Sam’s eyes. “I love him, Sam. I’m in love with Cas.”

Sam’s gaze softened and he didn’t have the heart to correct the tenses in Dean’s confession. “I know Dean… I’m sorry.”

Sam had stopped reaching out to Dean but the latter could not just sit around anymore. Dean started becoming more productive. He started taking care of Baby and giving her regular washes. In fact, Dean was back in the kitchen cooking breakfast and lunch in no time. He would still shut himself in his rooms for hours on end of course, but it was baby steps and Sam was content. However, Dean refused to go near Jack as the Nephilim reminded him too much of his dead angel.

“I love you Cas and I know that you would want me to help Jack… but I’m sorry man. I can’t look at him without seeing you and… and it hurts.”

It was after seventy-six confessions did Dean hear the voice he never thought he would hear again.

It was a fine Thursday morning and Dean was in his room, going through all the pictures that he had in the bunker when he realised that there were no pictures of Cas. None. He was about to reach for another beer when the voice behind him stopped him cold.

“Hello Dean.”

Dean turned back so fast that he almost got whiplash.

“Cas?”

Cas was looking at Dean with a small smile. Before he knew it, Dean closed the distance between him and the angel and pulled him into a tight hug.

“You’re real. This is it. You’re here.” Dean was crying again but he didn’t care.

He sniffed in the familiar scent of Cas but the latter pulled away and placed a hand on Dean’s cheeks. Dean closed his eyes and leaned into Cas’ touch and his green eyes met Cas’ warm blue ones. But the blue eyes held hesitation and Cas’ hands twitched at his sides.

“What’s the matter Cas?” Dean whispered.

Cas took a long unsteady breath and before Dean could react, Cas tilted his head up and pressed a soft kiss on Dean’s lips. Before Cas could pull away, Dean wrapped his arms around the angel’s waist, pulled him impossibly closer and kissed him deeper and harder. It was a long time before the two came up for breath.

“I love you Cas,” Dean breathed out.

“I heard you. I love you too Dean.”

A/N: I’m super sorry for my inactivity but I finally got a work up! I wanna dedicate this to @alittlebitofanna cause it’s her birthday today and she’s an amazing person who writes amazing fics! Go send her your love peeps ❤️

I would love to hear from you guys! So please do send me your feedback here 

Also, let me know if you want to be tagged in my future fics by sending me an ask or through DM! - My tagging categories 

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Keep reading