we saved each other.

I remember… thinking, uh, I could never go on a quest like that. Because I’m not clean. I mean, I w— I was just a little kid. You think… maybe I knew? I mean, deep down, that— I had… demon blood in me, and about the evil of it, and that I'm— wasn’t pure?

#really when you think about it is it any wonder dean acts so alpha male butch #i mean these are the comments he gets NOW #and he’s only got more rugged as he’s grown up #it must have just been non-stop when he was younger #pretty pretty girly precious feminine princess etc etc #no wonder dean modelled himself physically off john #john’s handsome but he’s very much traditionally masculine features-wise #john was the rugged manly archetype dean desperately wished he was instead of being the pretty one #no wonder dean based his persona off the hyper-masculine square-jawed womanizer hero type you see in tv #if he acted manly enough people would be forced to respect him as a hero #so he buried the stuff like the panty kink and the cooking and the nesting and the liking nice clothes down as far the fuck as they would go #and they’re only just surfacing #but he’s still semi-constantly getting the reinforcement that he’s feminine in looks #and that’s setting him back every time