i'm a little scared of people who drive around in jeeps
just thinking about them... jeepers.
what he means: my first girlfriend sacrificed herself for the good of her people, and she didn't think twice about it. i saw firsthand what it meant to truly protect those you love, and in that moment i also experienced what it meant to be loved enough to be protected. but i wasn't ready. i didn't have enough time to say goodbye. she was gone before she fell back to me, and i knew it even before i looked for a pulse that wasn't there. she was heavy, until she wasn't, because i saw death happen in a way i never thought it could when her body vanished from my arms. i now know what it feels like to kiss a spirit, and it's the last touch i have of her. she sacrificed herself because she believed it was her duty, an expectation she felt she needed to face, and it should never have happened. but she got dragged into a war that we brought to her home. there was nothing i could do to protect her from its devastation, and i blame myself for her death.
what he says: my first girlfriend turned into the moon
Special Instructions For Luke Skywalker
(approved by hon. Sen. Organa, Gen. Solo, entirety of Rogue Squadron, Adm. Ackbar, hon. Sen. Mothma, distributed to Cmdr. Skywalker)
1. No acrobatics, except in designated excercise areas.
1.1. Not even if you can "jump really high, the Force is so bright right now, look!"
2. Absolutely NO mind reading.
2.1. If you do it on accident, try not to get a weird look on your face and also tell us what you learned. Proverb: It's better to know than to wonder about it until one ends up doing something stupid.
2.2. Yes. I'm talking about that. I can't look General Madine in the eye anymore.
2.3. It's still allowed for intrasquadron prank purposes. But you can't do it to the others, they freak out.
3. No posing. Yes, you pose. It's annoying and wrong. The rest of us are dirty and want to slump down into our own filth and sleep. We don't need to see you being all heroic.
4. No claiming "the will of the Force" when you do something weird. Yes it's saved all our lives more than once. Yes it's still offputting and just plain disturbing.
4.1. "The universe is telling me that..." is not an acceptable substitute.
4.2. "I have received an omen" is also out.
4.3. "The vibes speak to me" is funny but no.
#chewie did not understand the assignment but did his best#chewie very much regards the humans as pets. nobody can convince me otherwise.#chewie will post a video of Han running around the ship fixing shit on KashikTok and caption it “he has the zoomies.”#many other wookiees will flock to the comments to go “😍😍 SO CUTE!”#star wars#star wars the original trilogy#star wars crack#star wars fic#rogue squadron#luke skywalker#leia organa#han solo#chewbacca#cw eating mention
wileycap reblogged
evil wizard voice: i too have a "doom scroll"
wileycap reblogged
Here's a legal PSA:
If you've committed a crime and a detective gathers everyone involved in the room, especially if he's not actually a detective and is instead a novelist, puzzle-setter, psychic, fake psychic, dog, chess grandmaster, etc. ...
YOU SHOULD NOT CONFESS.
Every year, hundreds of people are put away by non-traditional "detectives" who have either inserted themselves into the case or are working with the police in a dubiously legal capacity as advisor. In 99% of these cases, the murderer gives a full confession even though the evidence against them is circumstantial at best and often requires a long just-so story which can only guess at motive.
If this happens to you, stay quiet, do not attempt to defend yourself or talk your way out of it, only say "I want a lawyer".
Now if you find yourself being investigated by a boy genius, magician's assistant, anthropologist, classics scholar, or philosopher, it's likely that refusing to talk to the police (or investigator with no legal authority) is merely the end of the second act, and by the end of the third act they will have you dead to rights.
YOU SHOULD STILL NOT CONFESS.
Make them take it to court. Force the eccentric detective and his straight-laced police partner to take the stand and explain their methods to a jury of your peers. Have your lawyer look at the chain of custody on the evidence, especially if you believe it to have been handled by someone who has only bumbled into detective work through their natural charm and/or unique set of skills and outsider perspective that come in handy more often than they should.
Know your rights. Don't let eccentric detectives put you away.
wileycap reblogged
my favorite video of all time ever
Person: I saw a squirrel and was concerned
Newspaper: People are seeing squirrels and being concerned
Social media: I hear squirrels have eaten multiple people
Squirrel: I have rabies and bite people outside Big Joe's Rabies Vaccine Shop
Big Joe: I have made seventy-three million dollars in this quarter
Sickos: Yeees
wileycap reblogged
we are gonna be vacuuming up this post for the next five years
THE TORCH (Headlines from the end of the Hundred Year War, as collected by the Royal Museum and the Military Historical Society)
The Torch was a newspaper founded in year four of Fire Lord Azulon's reign and shut down in year 16 of Fire Lord Zuko's reign. It had two purposes: to act as a mouthpiece of the current regime and to provide sensationalist entertainment. Due to the oft-conflicting nature of these dual purposes, examining the Torch can provide insight into Fire Nation society during the War and the spread of information within it. The Torch was occasionally permitted to gently criticize the government, leading scholars to believe that its true purpose was to alleviate public tensions and moderate criticism of the War.
Barbarians Destroy Grand Fleet At North Pole: Unnatural Powers Used, Fire Lord Ozai Vows To Protect Nation
Obituary For Admiral Zhao: "Not well-liked or particularly competent, but still mourned by 5-12 people in the nation"
Air Nomad Terrorist Sighted In The Earth Kingdom: "Possibility of Earth terrorism in the homeland", Cautions Top Official
Air Nomad Terrorist 'Oung' Sighted In A Swamp: Possible Drug Use?
Air Nomad Terrorist Kidnaps The Daughter Of EK Noble Beifong Amidst Rising Cries To Submit To The Fire Nation- "Helpless and blind"
Giant Drill Launched, Destroyed In The EK - Expert: "Definitely the best way to spend the equivalent of three years' GDP. All hail Fire Lord Ozai."
wileycap reblogged
So anyhow if you're ever being interrogated you should definitely be more suspicious of whoever's offering solutions btw. Whoever seems calm and friendly and understanding, who agrees with you and 'just wants to figure things out'. In case you weren't aware
#shut the fuck up (not you op) and ask for legal representation#especially if you're innocent#in many jurisdictions a confession (even a false one) can severely expedite the legal process on the side of the cops#and severely harm your chances of representing yourself properly#think of it this way: if you've got a broken bone you give the insurance company a statement from the doctor#if you've got a suspected broken law you give the courts a statement from a lawyer#that's a massive oversimplification but it's more meant to stick in your brain and make you remember#that you should get a lawyer. obviously this also depends on your country province state etc#so there's no harm in finding resources and checking the applicable laws from a trustworthy source#and then just remember to get legal counsel if you are ever interrogated by the police#and if you're interrogated by the military or a spy agency or something idk make detailed notes cause you can sell that as a script later#or do a backflip to break the chair you're tied to and escape that works too. but not with the police. with the police you get legal counsel
wileycap reblogged
I went on a date to the mall with season 1 Sam Winchester (Supranational) and I got a nosebleed.
OH THAT TYPO WAS ON ME, sorry
Miss Supranational
i remember when this website was all about supraholuck
I checked my notifs and my Darth Vader AITA post had this absolute nugget of gold by @janusisasnakeyboi
And I just. Imagine if it was a pronoun, originally. Except the darksiders who came to study the ancient Sith didn't Get That.
Some ancient Sith's ghost is out there looking at Palpatine like "I was trying to tell them my pronouns and apparently that didn't translate. It is kind of hilarious to know that the galaxy is now ruled by a guy named Him Evil, though."
#“guys Him Evil just got a new apprentice. no this one is the stupidest. Him Angry.”#“I still think Him Beat is the stupidest”#him beat is darth maul.#star wars#star wars crack#star wars shitpost#sith#of course this makes it an ancient pronoun#also why do i feel like i'm making a joke that's already been made? i can't find it on tumblr but. still.
If anybody wants to prompt me regarding Avatar: The Last Airbender or Star Wars, feel free to do so in my askbox! I'm happy to write out something fairly short and tumblr-sized. Results may vary. Quality may vary.
I won't do smut and such and I can't promise I'll do, like, major shipping, but other than that, I'm game!
I genuinely did not know that cowboy was a verb also. I didn't know. But it absolutely fucks, you guys, and it fucks hard. Like. I want my tombstone to read "LIVED. COWBOYED. DIED." now actually. Jesus. I'm shaking this is great.
vampire hunter finds a just turned vampire about to rise during their own funeral and the vampire goes "fools! i will massacre you all!" and the hunter says "your funeral."