@wildfirefruitjars / wildfirefruitjars.tumblr.com
Honestly I really think Gregor Clegane deserves a pass! Like sure he's done some bad things, but he literally suffers from chronic migraines! And not only that, but due to the pain he consumes a lot of milk of the poppy, an opioid! Opioids can cause constipation!
So no shit he lash out a bit, the poor puppy's head hurts and so does his little constipated tummy probably!
"Yet when he tried to picture her, he only saw the wife he’d killed. He had sobbed each time he struck her, and afterward carried her down to the rocks to give her to the crabs." ~A Feast For Crows, The Iron Captain.
Don't you just hate when your sex slave salt wife cheats with, and is knocked up by, your mean brother, forcing you to beat her to death? So rude!
Bonus version with shittily drawn Euron and Balon in the background:
Victarion seriously fights Talbert Serry once, killing him, and then develops a whole ass little crush on the guy...
Like Vic, keep telling yourself you respected him, I know better! Doesn't help he calls the wound Talbert gave him for a kitten scratch, like dude, you basically just called him kitten... Even wanted him as a hostage, lol
looking into the asoiaf girl child character tags and dipping right out again
Seriously, sometimes on my For You page, it suggests me weird little girl stans and antis, and it's like... bro... they're kids??? Does it matter who's the prettiest??? And what's the obsession with fighting about what Stark sister is supposed to have an incestious relationship with Jon Snow???
And the insistence that Sansa is an evil bully that has abused Arya is wild! Has she done abusive thing? Yes! But she's a stupid preteen child, mirroring her mother's behaviors not an evil mastermind! (Talkin about Catelyn, she's definantly a questionable person that do both good and bad, and who's actions again can be explained by her own upbringing.)
Also just the weirdness of reducing the little girl characters (mostly Sansa) to a self insert to ship with whatever grown man the person fancies… like… do you even like the actual charectere? Or did you just see a #PrettyAndTragic girl to imgaine yourself as in ship-fics?
Fun ASOIAF fact!
While seemingly close in height, Robert Strong is actually a whole head shorter than Gregor Clegane!
Piss Puppy cry baby <3
First post of 2024, lol
Ah! My favorite thot, looking so serious as he's stuck in the flower-void!
Been forever since I did a lineless drawing, so decided to surprisingly quickly make one! :P
Baby gurl is such a horse girl, and he just love his pretty pony <3
Bonus 2000's inspired glitter gif vvv
Maester Aemon calling Aerys for "My brother's poor grandson" in AGOT is based as fuck.
Like Aemon definitely has heard about all the horrid shit Aerys has done, but he's also been penpals with Rhaegar, who might have had a slightly more sympathetic view on his dad than most, and no one can tell me Aegon didn't write with his big brother! Like Egg's probably been telling about how sweet little Aerys lost his first tooth, drew dragons on the wall or got into trouble with Steffon and Tywin.
So for Aemon, Aerys first and foremost isn’t the Mad King, he’s Egg’s troubled grandbaby.
Guess I wasn't completely done with family portraits, for here is house Clegane! Though this time I made it more difficult for myself and didn't just draw siblings, but also parents, and because I hate myself I also drew said siblings as kids... I had fun, tho! It was fun playing around with how much or little I wanted them to look like each other, and it was of course quite the challenge to "babify" the characters!
Sibling portraits part 2!
Following along with the pattern of sibling groups of three... until the darn Starks come along and ruin it!
Sibling portraits time!
This is technically a redraw of my very first Tumblr post, which I absolutely despise! So yay, art progress! But not only that, this time we got more characters, for this is just part 1!
These drawing have taken me so long to finish! First my drawing tablet stopped working (it was pretty old, and luckily I had money for a new one, so fair enough) And then I hurt my wrist! I've been dealing with that stupid injury for like half a year, but I've finally managed to get these done!
My old art, if anybody wants to see that shit :P
Fun fact of the day: Victarion Greyjoy seemingly likes grapes! 🍇🦑
“Grapes are real. A man can gorge himself on grapes. Their juice is sweet, and they make wine. What do dragons make?” ~ Victarion in A Feast for Crows
Quotes are best served out of context ❤️
This stupid joke has been living rent free in my head, I just needed to get it out!
How the fuck does Gregor Clegane not kill horses with the sheer weight of his giant, armored arse?!
So, Gregor is said to weigh 190 kg. (420 lb.)
A quick Google search tells me plate armor weighs around 30-35 kg. (66-77 lb.)
Gregor's armor is said to be the thickest and heaviest armor in the Seven Kingdoms, and that no ordinary man would be able to move in it! Therefore Gregor's armor must weigh a lot more than the average armor! Lets just be lazy say his armor weighs double that! (He's a big, strong boy, after all)
We will then end up with 60 kg. (132 lb.) worth of armor.
An armour Gregor would then be 250 kg! (551 lb!)
Playing around with a horse carry-weight calculator, I got to the results that a horse weighing 1270 kg. (2800 lb.) would be able to handle a rider weighing 254 kg. (559 lb.)
Another quick Google search says that the biggest horse, the shire horse (an absolutely gorgeous boi) in average weight between 816-1086 kg. (1800-2400 lb.) That would make their carry weigh to be between 162-216 kg. (358-477 lb.)
In conclusion, Gregor can indeed ride a shire horse Lady Godiva style (okay, he can probably wear clothes too), but even if we say his armor just weighs 30 kg. (66 lb.) He'd still be a just a little too heavy for the poor creature... though I doubt he cares. We do hear descriptions of how silly he looks mounted, as his horse looks like a pony under him!
But Gregor should value his horses more, for it can't be easy finding one strong enough for him! Though of course he lives in fantasy universe, so maybe it's not actually that difficult.
I've realized something that I find adorable about Sandor's quote:
"If there are gods, they made sheep so wolves could eat mutton, and they made the weak for the strong to play with."
Sandor is telling Sansa about how horrible the world is and that only the strong survive, by using a metaphor about wolves and sheep… but what's used to keep sheep safe from said wolves?
Dogs.
Shout out to Gregor Clegane’s fiancé/wife that we only hear about in AGOT. Like seriously, I’m pretty sure the only time we hear about Gregor’s wives are in a Ned chapter, and there we hear Gregor is soon to get married for the third time!
So, the two big question is, why do people hate their daughters so much they marry them to Gregor? And did Gregor ever get to wed his fiancé?
Like did she get to doge a mountain sized bullet?
Did she wed Gregor and get murdered?
Or is she just living her best life being widowed and owning the Clegane keep?
