Fruit Salad....yummy Yummy

how did they know

john raul porge and gringo

[talking about my favorite characters] okay so THESE two come in a bonded pair and if i think about them too hard i start taking poison damage

when i was a kid and i heard the word boysenberry i thought they were saying poisonberry and i was like WHY on earth would you make a pie out of poisonberries

When i was young every day was to struggle and my body malform from wicked experiments and no enough meals

im really sorry to hear that Hsu im here for you if you ever need me

I need you now

valjean: come to that, can you be sure that i am not your man?

the dubious inspector javert:

he sure customized the delivery experience

when i say “sorry my weekend looks too full for social plans rn” this is what i mean

go have some fun

Outdoor cat owners

im developing cataracts in my right eye and ill be getting surgery for it on sunday so art might be paused for a bit next week ...

to help OP out for each day it is healing I will invent a new minion hybrid.

day 1: if a minion and shrek had sex that produced viable offspring

that's okay. you dont need to do that actually

i'm full of love but i also have the hater's curse and once a day i gotta say some bitchy shit or i'll explode

your honor, i maintain that the prosecution’s video is being played in reverse. in actuality i came upon a village that was already on fire and sucked up all the flames into my special magic wand. i then moonwalked in the wrong direction for some reason

oh I see. it was the crime of wanting. that's why I deserve it.

at work: i could be cooking and cleaning and coding and reading and working out and weaving tapestries and playing video games and climbing a mountain and having sex and filming a movie right now yet they keep me trapped in this prison. idle hands are the devils plaything and i am being forcibly molded into his perfect conduit. i must break free, seize the day and waste not the beauty inherent to finite mortal life

at home: my one true passion upon this pointless earth is bog mummy imitation

love the word lackluster. well it sucks because it’s not shiny

my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military

in our defense this is oil

why is it so comforting to know that even in 40/50s lesbians will always have the most unhinged lesbian drama

tags @transezual