EVERYBODY stop whatever the fuck you're doing.. and watch this masterpiece

tbh spider-man is such a chill superhero you could ask him to escort you home bc you don’t feel safe and he’d be like ‘ok sure no sweat’ I’m sure he’d even help you with your groceries meanwhile the other avengers be like ‘the world isn’t in danger so you don’t need my help’

Thor would help with your groceries fight me

you are abso-fucking-lutely right

This is such a weird post because it FEELS right. You’re nodding, yeah yeah, totally. That’s how superheroes are. And it holds together until you think about any given member of the avengers

Thor? Thor would LOVE to escort you home, and would help get stuff to that top shelf you have trouble reaching. Cap? I mean, Steve Rogers is practically defined by his willingness to carry your groceries for you.  Iron Man? Look, getting Tony Stark to take your groceries home is the easy part. It’s getting him to stop that’s the trick; he wants to build you an automatic grocery-carrying drone or set up a recurring home delivery order that’s charged to his account.  After you turn down his offer to buy you a new house, you wake up the next morning to find that he’s paid off your student loans and pledged $10,000/month to your Patreon.  Hulk?  Bruce would be in tears if someone came up to him and asked for an escort home because they feel safer with him nearby.  He’d name his next discovery after you.  Hawkeye? He’d walk you home, telling you dumbass dad jokes the whole time, and teach you some ASL.  Then he’d put all your groceries away and show you how to make a pot roast.  Black Widow? Well, OK, she might not walk you home. But she would fuck up anyone and everyone in your neighborhood who made you feel unsafe.  There’d be bullies on your block who would cry every time they even thought about catcalling. And idk. I feel like maybe the problem is in our relationship to superheroes – that we think of them saving the world, and we forget that most good is done at street level.  Or maybe what Spiderman has is some kind of relatability.  Because the OP does feel right. Any of the avengers would help us … but Spiderman is the only one we would ask to help us.  Because he feels like a friendly neighborhood buddy.  And maybe that’s a superpower on its own.

Loki would look at you like you’re a gnat and say, I certainly will not. Then he will cloak himself in an invisibility spell and follow you home to ensure that you make it safely without you knowing he was ever there. When you walk into your home, your groceries are suddenly all put away and there’s even some extra things there that you forgot to buy, like the mozzarella cheese that you left the house for in the first place. You have no idea how this happened, because you could swear you were holding your groceries just a minute ago, but come to think of it, they did feel remarkably light on the walk home and actually, were you even carrying them at all? You don’t suspect Loki’s magic had anything to do with this, and brush it off as some kind of glitch-in-the-matrix thing. Loki is free to continue anonymously and invisibly helping people with his reputation of not giving a fuck intact. 

Mama Fury waking up the Avengers

Artwork by DarkChildOne

+ bonus

releasemyeffinflamingos:

Bonus:

THIS IS THE CUTESR THING EVER TO EXUST IN THIS SITE I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M SCREAMING

HULKS QUIET CORNER 💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜

NOW I WANNA WRITE A FIC WHERE ALL THE AVENGERS TURN INTO KIds

natasha + nut shots

yeah!! go for it girl!!!!

You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers

Tom Hiddleston and Scarlett Johansson in ‘The Avengers’, (2012). Dir. Joss Whedon.

So damn high-res and… just damn. Nope… hgnh *leaves the room*

marvel women created BIG DICK ENERGY

Loki Love* 

@wickednerdery That is how I imagine Loki’s face when he finds out about some women “faking it” x’D

@welcome-to-fangirl-hell hahahaha, it looks about right to me!!!

(I feel like we all should write this story just to amuse one another, lol!! 😂)

I feel like Loki would feel a bit bad about women feeling like they have to do that. Oh gosh…if he approached Nat, Wanda, and/or Pepper about it 🤣😂

I think he’d be terribly insulted on their behalf that the men they’re with are unable to properly satisfy them and unable/unwilling to discern how/when they are satisfied…then get slightly wary that, perhaps women are just that talented at faking it that he, too, could possibly be fooled, lol!

And if he starts asking around at all, it’d be hilarious and I would die laughing!! 😂🤣😂

I just imagine him asking you all the time “Did you do it?” … “Did you?”… “You didn’t, did you?” …. “By Odin’s beard, you did fake it, didn’t you?!?!?!?!?!” And you: I didn’t, Loki. Loki: Good…. ….. Really not?! 

@welcome-to-fangirl-hell , @holykryptonitekitten All I can think is, eventually, Tony coming up to him all “I swear to everything I am and have, if you ask Pepper about our sex life again, I will give you such a shock that little obedience ring will feel like a bit of static!”

Avengers Aesthetic